Against the backdrop of increasingly fierce "inflation" involving "people's livelihood" - which spray coder is the best.

by lxqa0954y8 on 2012-02-15 14:59:57

The unique "leftover women" phenomenon of the new era has emerged and taken the lead, becoming a major hotspot frequently hyped by the "entertainment-oriented society." Nowadays, whether it's TV programs involving romance or the selection and publication of "hot books," they repeatedly lock their so-called "viewing ratings" or "profit selling points" on the growing group of leftover women. It seems that without using such topics for hype, it would be impossible to attract the highly critical eyes of TV viewers and the eager gaze of countless readers seeking new knowledge; even more so, it would fail to highlight the distinctive charm and lofty pursuits of the leftover women group in the new era. Among these, what is particularly "refreshing" is: a rather fashionable public opinion takes advantage of this "hotspot" to openly declare to today's vast leftover women: ... being a leftover woman is actually not scary, if you can become a diamond-level excellent leftover woman, that is also another manifestation of a woman's value...

Alas! If women in the transitional era really reach a point where they "need" or "have to" transform themselves into characteristic "leftover women," or even with an A-Q-like sense of "pride" turn into "diamond-level excellent leftover women" to demonstrate the value of life and existence, then no matter how you look at it, the essence is the sorrow of the entire social population resources tending towards depletion; the sorrow of the loss of national awareness of reproduction; and even more so, the greatest sorrow of all male groups who regard women as the other half of life, feeling heart-wrenching pain and wanting to cry but having no tears!

Objectively speaking, the large-scale emergence of the "leftover women group" maintaining a certain distance from new-era marriages, besides being a result inevitably produced by social economic development and human self-evolution, also reveals from the perspective of the history of marital emotional development the objective reality of further awakening of human love consciousness. The previous love and marriage consciousness, which merely pointed to individual survival and was subconsciously adhered to by the female group, only seeking "male pleasure and female affection, bearing children and living life," has begun to be endowed with more new connotations by the "leftover women group" emerging in today's era due to the tremendous changes in the overall social material survival environment. Expecting and pursuing high-quality personal love lives, longing for long-lasting "true love" emotions in future marriage lives, are undoubtedly the core demands in the marital consciousness of today's "leftover women group" that differ from tradition.

However, while this part of the leftover women group strives to pursue and realize the above-mentioned marital ideals with new connotations, they have not consciously followed the guidance of emotional rationality originating from within and capable of truly reaching this goal. Instead, under the control of a dominant wealth-worshipping psychology, influenced by the strong tide of the "collective unconscious" of keeping up with the Joneses and seeking wealth in today's society, they merely hope or expect to achieve their own love and marriage ideals through significant changes in material living conditions represented by money. One could say that it is precisely because of such a historical background where the path to realizing ideals greatly deviates from the essential requirements of actualizing human marital emotions that, if timely adjustments are not made, it will ultimately lead to this part of the leftover women group unwillingly becoming the most tragic "participants" in the new era's form of marriage...

In the entire process of actualizing human marital emotions, there are two basic conditions that must be met. The first is the "purposefulness" of the marital emotion object; the second is that both men and women involved in pursuing the realization of marital emotions have roughly the same inner consensus about the same marital emotions. Only by fully satisfying these two basic conditions will the marital emotions pursued by both parties have the realistic possibility of truly being realized as desired.

The so-called "purposefulness" of the marital emotion object refers to the fact that during the realization of marital emotions, only those of the opposite sex who meet one's core demands for marital emotions should be selected as potential partners. Specifically for today's "leftover women group," their biggest feature is their relentless pursuit of high-quality marital emotions that are dedicated and enduring. However, in the practice of modern-day marital emotions, can the male group available for them to choose from meet such emotional demands as they wish? Currently, it is evident that there is a significant gap between the intrinsic needs of these two opposite-sex groups. The subconscious desires of most contemporary males regarding marital emotions still firmly adhere to the preference for "young and beautiful" mates and closely related orientations in choosing partners; they only consider intense sexual feelings as the core content of their own realization of love. As for the core demand of today's "leftover women group" for long-lasting high-quality marital emotions, there is clearly a lack of positive response or active pursuit in psychological impulse. In this way, the vast majority of contemporary males involved in marriage, driven by powerful instincts, find it difficult to regard "leftover women" who are not so "young and beautiful" as potential partners. Correspondingly, the "leftover women group" that somewhat realistically feels and understands this point will, of course, be even less likely and absolutely unwilling to regard such emotionally immature males as potential candidates to fulfill their core marital emotional demands. One can say that the general lack of "purposefulness" in marital emotion objects is one of the main objective causes for the large-scale emergence of today's "leftover women group"; it is also a highly tragic reality problem that this group has to face.

As for the so-called "both men and women participating in the pursuit of the realization of marital emotions having roughly the same inner consensus about the same marital emotions," this actually refers to the psychological pathway that must be followed beforehand for marital emotions to be truly realized. In all historical eras before the transformation of society, "bearing children, continuing the family line, extending the lineage, and inheriting family property" were the traditional consensuses that did not need to be explicitly stated for all men and women about to enter marriage life; and what played a decisive role was actually this kind of psychological consensus - that is, married men could provide more materially secure living conditions for the relevant married women. In other words, as long as the married man could make the married woman aware that he could satisfy this condition, the marriage between the two would naturally become reasonable and easy.

Unfortunately: deeply influenced by this historical tradition, some women in today's era, while pursuing more free and equal, higher-quality marital emotional lives, have not consciously realized from within that "the realization of new marital ideals requires relying on corresponding new pathways to be possible"; instead, they only seek surface equality, or even mechanically compare themselves to contemporary male groups, wholeheartedly pursuing career success and wealth that seem to better reflect their independence in survival. Little do they know that this purely "material living state"-based pathway for the realization of marital emotions is completely the "alienated" manifestation of related marital psychologies under feudal society and capitalism in the era of socialism with Chinese characteristics, and naturally, it is hard to be widely accepted by the marital psychology of today's men in practice. Under such a psychological state where the basic consensus between men and women involved in marriage cannot be commonly established, these women will inevitably have to "alienate" into the "leftover women group" that always maintains a certain distance from new-era marriages due to the continuous denial of their related marital psychology.

Closely related to the above two basic conditions, and even more fundamentally important, is that "reproduction," closely linked to the evolution of human marital emotions, is not only the most natural, direct, and unviolable fundamental purpose of the actual existence of the female and male groups in human society; simultaneously, it profoundly restricts the real possibility of both sexes entering marriage from the inherent "fertile age" of both sides.

Fundamentally speaking, since the essential differences and objective realities of both sexes are entirely based on "reproduction," any value judgment made by either side regarding marital emotions must naturally revolve around this point and cannot arbitrarily leave it. That is to say: in the choice of marital partners, whether women choose men or men choose women, neither can escape the ultimate command issued by the genetic code of life for "reproduction"; both are profoundly constrained by the decisive influence of this "ultimate command" on their related behaviors. In the practice of human marital life, whether hoping for "many children and blessings" after marriage or experiencing the inner pain of "infertility" after marriage, all are the most distinct, vivid, and undeniable specific manifestations of this "ultimate command."

It is well known that for both men and women, after reaching maturity, their "reproductive" capabilities will experience a life process of reaching a peak and then gradually declining until termination as age increases. Women's "fertile age" is shorter, generally ending completely around the age of forty when menstruation stops; whereas men's "fertile age" is much longer than women's, with some men even retaining fertility at the advanced age of seventy or eighty (for example, Confucius, the founder of Confucianism in China, was born when his father was seventy years old. There are many similar examples in contemporary times, so I won't list them all). Therefore, today's "leftover women group" and the so-called "leftover men group" are not entirely on an absolutely equal footing. If we take this existing reality as the relevant standard and objective basis, then the "leftover men group" in the new era, despite increasing age, can still smoothly enter into marriage due to the "wealthy change" in their material living conditions represented by money, and together with the "young and beautiful" women involved in marriage, jointly realize the mission of reproducing life. However, the current "leftover women group" is different. When this group repeatedly delays their age due to high-standard choices that are difficult to align with the available options, reaching a nearly hopeless "difficult to find a husband" situation, their final possibility of entering into marriage will inevitably become extremely slim, beyond their subjective wishes, until it is almost lost!

Given this, the author of the matrimonial exploration novel "The Heart Web is Hard to Weave" and the investigator of matrimonial emotions in the new era sincerely tells female friends:

--- The new awakening of love consciousness cannot simply rely on changes in material living conditions to gain equivalent psychological and emotional recognition; and the comprehensive enhancement of the survival realm including matrimonial emotions in today's era can only be newly realized through appropriate forms that continuously meet related psychological and emotional needs. Therefore, from this perspective, the real realization of matrimonial ideals in today's era can only be possible by consciously relying on new paths adapted to them. The so-called "leftover women" or even "diamond-level excellent leftover women" with enormous tragic implications should not become the "value embodiment" and "ideal survival state" of the new era's female group whose love consciousness is increasingly awakening. Existing matrimonial life practices have confirmed that "matrimonial emotional happiness" actually has only one subjective standard that all participants cannot question: whether the expected emotional life content and form can be perfectly and durably manifested in the same emotional life of the partner. As for "money and wealth," which can only simply satisfy "material desires" in terms of essential connotation and form of expression, it is difficult to comprehensively and profoundly reflect all the contents and meanings that matrimonial emotional life in today's era should encompass; it is even more incapable of effectively promoting the comprehensive enhancement of the survival realm in today's era from a positive influencing aspect. For this reason, entering the renewed matrimonial ideal in accordance with the developmental logic of human matrimonial emotions under new historical conditions undoubtedly should become the essential pursuit for self-perfection for men and women involved in marriage in today's era!

Note:

This blog post was completed on April 30, 2011, and published on May 12 in another network blog. This time, when deciding to republish it on the main Sina blog, Zhou made some textual refinements to the article; meanwhile, the original title "Leftover Women Are the Greatest Tragedy of New Era Marriages" was changed to "Becoming a Leftover Woman Is Absolutely a Tragedy of Life."

Reference link: http://blog.ifeng.com/article/11328255.html