"Number 008!"

by liuyjqba on 2009-12-08 08:35:23

On the first day of school during the roll call, a head teacher came up with an original idea. He said to his students: "I will read out the student numbers, and you tell us your names so that we all get to know each other. Is that okay?"

"Number 001!"

"Report teacher, I am Jiao, my name is Jiao Pei."

The teacher was a bit dizzy and asked, "Who gave you this name?"

"My father."

"What does your father do?"

"He runs a pig breeding factory!"

"Number 002!"

A girl stood up, "Report teacher, I am Zhang, my name is Zhang Dekai."

"Number 003!"

"Report teacher, I am Zhang Dekai's twin brother, my name is Zhang Bukai."

"Who gave you guys these names?"

"My dad, he sells pliers."

The teacher quickly took a sip of water.

"Number 004!"

"Report teacher, I am Ou (pronounced 'Ou'), my name is Ou Ye (Oh Ye). My mom gave me this name because she just beat a computer game when I was born."

The teacher's heart started to feel uncomfortable.

"Number 005!"

"Report teacher, Gan Niangniang!"

"You are cursing me?!"

"No! Teacher, I am saying I am surnamed Gan, my name is Gan Ni Niang. My dad makes alcohol."

The teacher took a pill.

"Number 006!"

"Teacher, I am surnamed Gou, my name is Gou Buli."

"Your father runs a steamed bun shop, right?!"

"Teacher, you are so smart!"

The teacher was already feeling unsteady on his feet.

"Number 007!"

"I am surnamed Kuai (pronounced 'Kuai', third tone), my name is Kuai Huo."

"Don't tell me your father runs a warehouse."

"Teacher, you are really outdated! My father is a pimp."

Blood started seeping from the corner of the teacher's mouth.

"Number 008!"

"Teacher, ni qu si!" (Ni qu si means "you go die")

"What? What did you say?!"

"I am saying I am surnamed Ni, my name is Ni Qu Si. My mother is a devout Buddhist, isn't my name meaningful?"

"Meaningful, meaningful."

The teacher was almost in tears.

"Number 009!"

"Teacher, next time."

"Why next time? Say it now!"

"Not like that! Teacher, I am surnamed Xia, my name is Xia Hui Shuo. My father is a storyteller."

The teacher already felt dizzy and disoriented.

"Number 010!"

"Teacher, I am surnamed Gao, my name is Gao Wan."

"I am surnamed Mei, my name is Mei Liangxin."

"I am surnamed Wu, my name is Wu Qing."

"I am surnamed Mao, my name is Mao Rongrong."...

The teacher looked up to the sky and cried out loud, "Heaven! What kind of students have I encountered!" The teacher spat blood and fainted.