I am an ordinary girl, with not much education or beauty, but with a sorrow that others cannot compare to. I am a sentimental and rather introverted person, spending most of my time in silence because that's the quiet I like. I enjoy reminiscing about the past, living in it, because all these are memories I can't forget. I'm also a very pessimistic person, always thinking about things in the worst possible way. When I was young, I didn't know what it meant to be pessimistic. As I grew up, I understood it and gradually became a pessimistic person. I also like to daydream. Sometimes I sit down and daydream for a long time, not knowing what I'm thinking about, just a lot of thoughts swirling around in my head. I've never been very happy, nor do I know how to define happiness. In my world, there is too much pessimism. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I laugh foolishly, and sometimes I cry by myself. Sometimes I talk a lot, and other times I remain silent. Sometimes I suddenly feel like doing something, and other times I don't want to do anything, I just want to sit quietly in a space by myself.
I like the night, staying alone in my room, naturally putting my hands in my pockets, going to bed late, writing, reading novels, and reading "Campus All-round Genius". I also like using words to describe my inner feelings, and friends who like it can read on Pin Wen Ju. I like humming tunes to relieve inner anxiety and reduce pressure. I like sighing because it seems to be one of my habits. I'm also very lazy, not wanting to do anything, even simple things like cooking rice in cold winter days.
I hope someone will accompany me, I fear loneliness, but I can't find that person who will stay with me. I like being hugged because it gives me a sense of security. I like keeping everything inside, but I can't find anyone to confide in. I like listening to music with headphones because it calms my heart. I like listening to sad songs, writing sad sentences to interpret my inner feelings. I like watching romance movies, perhaps hoping for a perfect love. I like curling up in a corner because it can alleviate my unease.
Sometimes I laugh happily, but who would understand that it's just my way of masking my true feelings? Sometimes I feel very inferior, always thinking I'm worthless. Sometimes I want to cry, but the tears won't come. Sometimes I feel very afraid because I'm scared of being hurt again.
I really like taking walks at night, enjoying the feeling of being enveloped by the night. I like rainy days because I know that when it rains, it means the sky has encountered something sad and couldn't help but shed tears, as if seeing through the fragility, helplessness, and loneliness of people. So it can't help but shed those sad tears for me.
I don't understand romance, I don't know how to please others, I'm not good at communicating, so I don't have many friends. I like being alone, walking by myself. Sometimes I am very suspicious, not trusting anyone, and I don't know why I am this way, it just comes naturally. I am also very stupid, my brain doesn't think flexibly, and I often say I have a pig's brain in a human's body. I also lack confidence because I can't do anything well, I'm very disappointed in myself.
This is me, a fool, a sorrowful person, a person without confidence, who likes silence, sadness, and is good at pretending.
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