You are single, I am waiting for you. You say you don't want to fall in love, I am waiting for you. Suddenly you have a new beginning, I am waiting for you. Your love has ended and you need healing, I accompany you, I wait for you. I thought that one day you would discover me by your side, one day you would look back. But I never expected that the final wait would only bring me a sentence: "Sorry, you're good, but..."
I really want to say: "... Sorry!" I admit. I don't mind accommodating you. I can always look up to you. Just, do you really never look at me? I am here! I am here! Can you hear me? I really want to ask, are you deaf or blind? Why are you so indifferent?
Sometimes I think, what exactly do I like about you? What exactly am I waiting for from you? Maybe what cannot be obtained is truly the best. Or perhaps, I just haven't met someone better than you. Is it really necessary to wait until I forget you? Is it really necessary to wait until I give up on you? Is it really necessary to wait until I leave you before you realize how important I was to you?
You don't know how sad I feel at certain moments. You don't know how tiring it is to wait without any response. You don't know how much courage it took for me to remain unforgettable. Or maybe, you're not unaware, you just pretend to be.
You are so selfish. I am so foolish. Again and again. Crying until I'm tired, then silence. Wanting to give up, becoming cold. But as soon as time passes, I start missing you again. Unable to let go, unable to forget, unable to quit, unable to walk away. The people around me feel sorry for me. Everyone advises me. Perhaps only you remains so unmoved. And perhaps only I remains so infatuated. What should I say? One willing to hit, the other willing to endure? I've been waiting for someone all along. Waiting for a look back. Waiting for a smile. Finally, I waited until I lost my own smile. Isn't it enough yet? I am really tired. But why, no matter if I walk left or right, can I not escape the circle of loving you?
I don't expect to find happiness with you. I don't dare to imagine any sacrifice from you. I just want, since I've made my decision, to be resolute. The joke is, you don't even give me a chance to be resolute. You suddenly ask me, when did I start smoking? I laugh, people change. When I miss you, when you hurt me, when my heart aches, when I feel helpless, smoking seems natural. How much do you truly care for me, consider me?
Tell myself to leave you. Tell myself this is the last time I cry. Many things have boundaries. Often, even the strongest people get tired. I am not a real fool, I was once willingly for you. Now, I finally found a way to exit this unfair game. Occasionally, you'll contact me. Your sudden appearance still stirs something inside me. But I've learned to disguise myself towards you, neither too cold nor too warm, neither too close nor too distant. Laughing heartlessly, no longer shedding those cheap tears. Then listening to you gently say, "You've changed." I don't know whether I should laugh or cry. It doesn't matter anymore, does it?
Suddenly, seeing a familiar figure, hearing a familiar voice, I involuntarily fall into memories. But slowly, I've learned to let go. It's not that I've changed, it's that I truly can't do anything more, I give up. I can't keep stirring things up. Hearing those songs, thinking of you suddenly. Where will you be? Are you happy or feeling wronged? Whenever I hear such lyrics, I can't help but think of us. But I know, we are no longer who we were, and what we wanted before isn't what we want now. So, after a long time, meeting again. Facing such an embrace, I probably won't feel much emotion anymore. Even if my heart is in turmoil, I will pretend to be calm. All my past fervor has ultimately been drained by you. Blame you? No, I don't blame you, I don't blame anyone, there's no one to blame.