1:
Forum OP: Aren't you women hot wearing bras in the summer?
Forum reply: We wouldn't be warm if we didn't wear them...
2:
OP: I beat up my dog! It didn't even warn me about the earthquake. It's always so vocal, yet when the earthquake happened just now, it was sleeping in its nest as if nothing happened!
Reply: Sigh, it's not biologically related after all...
3:
OP: My wife gave birth to a girl, who is very adorable. I seek help from everyone for a majestic name for her. My surname is Cheng.
Reply: Cheng Jisi Han.
4:
OP: Give me a woman, and I can create an official family!
Reply: Hmm, give you a sow, and the price of pork will drop next year!
5:
OP: In college, I skipped classes, failed courses, dumped others, got dumped, fought, recorded achievements, lost my virginity... Hey, I've done everything there is to do~
Reply: Have you died?
6:
OP: Please describe the China National Earthquake Administration in one sentence.
Reply: Like Zhuge Liang beforehand, like a pig afterward!
7:
OP: Everyone come up with a story that starts with KB, is funny in the middle, and ends tragically. For example, once upon a time there was a ghost who farted and then died in 2012.
Reply: Met Fung Sister, fell in love with Fung Sister, married Fung Sister...
8:
OP: Talking to the group of red fanatics at work every day makes me feel very bleak about my future...
Reply: You should be happy~ Because playing music to cows isn't scary, what's scary is a group of cows playing music to you every day!
9:
OP: A female pineapple vendor in Nantou, Shenzhen, bit off the little JJ of an urban manager in a fit of desperation...
Reply: Hmph! If you don't let me live, then I won't let you enjoy life either!!!
10:
OP: Newton was just lucky to discover the law of universal gravitation. If I had been born three hundred years earlier, I could have done it too!
Reply: Indeed lucky, because what hit his head was an apple, while what hit the poor OP's head was either a durian or a coconut...
11:
OP: Is it worse to be called uncle or brother?
Strong Reply: Uncle, your younger brother has arrived.
12:
OP: The city managers are getting new weapons to catch stray dogs!
Strong Reply: Marked by the same root, why so urgent to fry?
13:
OP: Why do fewer and fewer people want children?
Strong Reply: Comrade Gao from Beijing said, start from childhood.
14:
OP: Yesterday, I met a male online friend who kept hinting about wanting to go to bed. I wonder, is it true that netizens meet each other just to go to bed?
Strong Reply: Netizens meeting and not going to bed? What kind of joke is that? Everyone is so busy these days.
15:
OP: A student who ranks last every year, often gets into fights, according to guidance requirements, teachers need to write a good final comment for the student. How should it be written?
Strong Reply: This student has stable grades, strong hands-on abilities.
16:
OP: Through the incident of someone dying from drinking Hainan mineral water, we can see that food safety in China is worrying. Can mineral water really kill people? Isn't there a QS mark?
Strong Reply: Weakly ask, does QS mean "go die"?
17:
OP: Men, would you choose Li Yuchun or Zhang Ziyi?
Strong Reply: One is a private chicken, the other is a domestic chicken, I wouldn't choose either.
18:
OP: Which is more cost-effective, raising a dog or raising a man?
Strong Reply: Auntie, even if you can make a man work like a dog, would you dare to make a dog work like a man?
19:
OP: If both Li Yuchun and Fung Sister fall into the water at the same time, and you have only one brick, who would you throw it at?
Strong Reply: Whoever saves, throw it at them.
20:
Forum OP: I have one million yuan, I want to buy a car, any suggestions?
Forum Reply: You could buy 30 QQ cars, form a fleet, sometimes line up in an S shape, sometimes in a B shape.
21:
Forum OP: Wang Xiaoya and Zhang Liang got married, please comment in four words.
Forum Reply: Ya Cong Liang Le (She has reformed)!
22:
Forum OP: Does anyone think I look like Wu Bai?
Forum Reply: Only half alike! (Two hundred fifty??!!)
23:
Forum OP: Last night while walking our Tibetan Mastiff, it started fighting with a bald stray dog by the small forest. Damn! Who would have thought the Tibetan Mastiff would lose to a grass dog!!!
Forum Reply: Adult movies*, before I went bald, they all called me Lion!
24:
Forum OP: Guess which country's mixed blood I am^_^
Forum Reply: Chinese + Transformers!
25:
Forum OP: My girlfriend always says my chest is small, I think it's okay, please help appraise it~
Forum Sofa: Two pimples on the back belly!
26:
Forum OP: If I had 100 million yuan, I could take out a loan to buy a house at Tang Jun Yi Pin!
Forum Reply: Hmm, but you would still need to borrow money for property fees~
27:
Forum OP: He said today that I am a part of his life, I am a whole part of his body, if he lost me, he couldn't survive~
Forum Sofa: My ex-boyfriend said the same thing, later I realized I was his appendix, tonsils, sixth finger - something dispensable!
28:
Forum OP: I am so rich, what car should I buy for my maid?
Forum Reply: That depends on how far her relationship with your husband has developed~
29:
Forum OP: The damn hair salon messed up my hair! Everyone, give me some evil ideas, the more destructive the better, the quieter the better, because I'm going alone.
Forum Sky Room: At noon, under the moonlight, quietly, gently, hang yourself at the hair salon entrance...
30:
Forum OP: What should I do if I have amnesia?
Forum Reply: Isn't that great? Every morning when you wake up, the woman next to you is different~
31:
Forum OP: When you were a child, what kind of scene did you dream of showing off in front of everyone?
Forum Bench: Carry a load of manure onto the street, splash it on whoever looks ugly!
32:
Forum OP: Why do police sound sirens when catching bad guys? Don't they worry the bad guy boss will hear and run away?
Forum Sofa: Before higher-ups come for inspection, they usually notify the lower units in advance~
33:
Forum OP: Why does the child born have the father's surname?
Forum Sofa: Because the money dispensed from the ATM belongs to the cardholder.
34:
Forum OP: Being handsome is useless -- in the end, isn't it just being eaten by soldiers!
Forum Reply: Handsome men have companions, cannons to fire, horses to ride, beds to lie on, admirers in secret... How is being handsome not beautiful?!?!
35:
Forum OP: Collecting the harshest insult without dirty words in one sentence.
Forum Reply 31: Wasn't your mother supposed to throw you away and raise the placenta instead?
36:
Forum OP: Why is Japan relatively cold towards President Hu's visit, to the point of not even hanging welcome banners at the airport?
Forum Sofa: How to hang? Warmly welcome the old enemy of China tomorrow?
37:
OP: I have fallen in love with a boy who is 6 years younger than me, still in junior high school, truly sinful.
Strong Reply: Removing the word 'like' would truly be sinful.
38:
Forum OP: I bought a new estate, it's so big it scares you -- it took me two and a half hours to drive around it!!!
Forum Sofa: Hmm, I used to have such a broken-down car too~