Yesterday, at a hospital in Beijing's Pinggu district, an optimistic Han Rui joked with her mother, who couldn't help but shed tears. When Han Rui was more than five months pregnant, she was diagnosed with cancer, yet she insisted on giving birth to the child before undergoing treatment. Photography for this article by our reporter Yang Jie.
Through mobile phone recordings, Han Rui listens to her son's cries several times every day.
The happiest thing for Han Rui is to see her son Tiedan through video calls.
"You are my hope." On May 7th, within a hospital in Beijing's Pinggu district, 28-year-old cancer patient Han Rui saw her newborn son Tiedan via video call while her husband was monitoring the progress of her blood transfusion. Photographed by our reporter Yang Jie.
To preserve the life inside her, the cancer-stricken mother decided to abandon treatment, relying only on small doses of painkillers to alleviate her pain, tightly clutching the bedsheet—a habitual action for her.
After delivering a 4 jin 2 liang (approximately 4.5 pounds) male infant via cesarean section, the thigh of the mother, which had been affected by the disease, expanded from a circumference of over 60 centimeters to over 90 centimeters, and the tumor, the size of an egg, had grown three or four times larger.
Yesterday, in the oncology ward of Yuxie Hospital in Pinggu District, 28-year-old Han Rui repeatedly touched the computer screen, where there were pictures of her son.
"You are my hope." Tears welling up in her eyes, she murmured to herself.
"Please let me be a mother once."
Han Rui is from Xingtai, Hebei Province. Due to pain in her left thigh root, she came to Beijing for medical treatment accompanied by her family on New Year's Day this year.
"Malignant fibrous histiocytoma," was the diagnosis when Han Rui was less than six months pregnant.
The family faced two choices: abort the child and start treatment immediately; or delay treatment until after the child's birth, but this could result in losing both the child and the mother.
"Abort the child, treating the illness is the priority." Han Rui's husband Lan Kai said that after the family discussed and conveyed their opinion to Han Rui, she cried.
Dreaming of becoming a kindergarten teacher, although her wish wasn't fulfilled, she still went to the local youth palace every weekend to teach children how to draw.
When she was four months pregnant, Han Rui had already bought all the necessities such as bibs, belly bands, pillows, and diapers...
After learning about her family's decision, Han Rui made her own choice, "I want this child. Please let me be a mother once, it might be my only chance."
This time, it was the family who cried.
Giving birth doubles the tumor
Malignant tumors develop rapidly, accompanied by continuous pain.
Husband Lan Kai said that to save the child, chemotherapy and radiotherapy couldn’t be done, so only small doses of painkillers were used to relieve the pain, and his wife lying in bed often clenched the bedsheet tightly to endure the pain.
On February 28th, Han Rui gave birth via cesarean section at 31 weeks of pregnancy, delivering a 4 jin 2 liang male baby, naming him Tiedan, "hoping this child will be resilient," Han Rui said.
At this point, it had been over a month since her cancer diagnosis, Han Rui's left thigh had expanded from a circumference of over 60 centimeters to over 90 centimeters, and the tumor the size of an egg had grown three or four times larger.
After the cesarean section, Han Rui and Tiedan were respectively sent to the intensive care unit.
Postpartum, Han Rui had high fever and coma, only able to lower her temperature with ice packs, "other people’s daughters eat well during their confinement, but my daughter has been holding ice packs for half a month," Han Rui's mother said tearfully.
"I really want to touch his little hand"
After Tiedan was discharged from the hospital, his body was still very weak, so he was sent back to their hometown to be taken care of by relatives.
In mid-March, after Han Rui's fever subsided, she started receiving chemotherapy.
Mother and son have never met, "the baby is already two months old and hasn't eaten any of my milk," Han Rui bitterly smiled while saying this due to the effects of chemotherapy on her hair.
In early April, Lan Kai returned home and brought back photos of Tiedan, which was the first time Han Rui saw her son.
"The nose looks like his father, and the smile looks like me." There were seven or eight photos in total, and Han Rui would look at them several times a day.
There was a video on Lan Kai's phone of Tiedan crying, and it was the first time Han Rui heard her son's cry.
A few days ago, Lan Kai bought an internet card, and every night Han Rui would video chat with Tiedan, "it seems like he grows a bit every day."
She saw the small clothes she had previously bought now worn by Tiedan, "only regret is that I didn't dress him myself."
Han Rui said that during her hospitalization, she had once touched the hand of a baby in the neighboring bed, "soft and tender, it feels amazing..." Han Rui fell into deep thought, then turned around and asked her husband Lan Kai, "what does Tiedan's hand feel like? I really want to touch it..."
Seeing her son gives her strength to endure
Although chemotherapy has started, Han Rui's leg still hurts unbearably.
Her mother said that whenever her daughter felt pain, she would look at Tiedan's photos and videos, "she always stares at the baby's face and doesn't feel the pain anymore."
Regarding her initial choice, Han Rui said she has no regrets, "every day I can see Tiedan, and that gives me the strength to carry on."
The other night, she dreamed of Tiedan, but in the dream, Tiedan didn't recognize her.
"Silly girl, blood-connected, how could he not recognize you... when you get better, he will also recognize people, and you can hold him." Her mother comforted her tearfully beside her.
Han Rui turned her head, tears welling up in her eyes, staring at Tiedan's close-up photo on the computer, tracing Tiedan's outline with her finger, muttering to herself, "you are my hope."
Yesterday, the medical staff of Yuxie Hospital stated that currently, Han Rui needs to undergo amputation surgery. Since recent examinations showed possible signs of cancer cell spread, "whether they have spread still requires further examination."
Now, Han Rui's wish is to bring her child to Beijing for a few days after he turns 100 days old and becomes stronger, "I want to hold him tightly."
Our reporter Lu Man