The Superpickles Chapter Six: The Pickles and the Weasel
Pickles knew that becoming a superhero wasn't something that happened overnight. In the past, he would have needed to master astronomy, geography, the philosophies of various sages, ancient and modern Chinese and foreign knowledge, music, chess, calligraphy, painting, military books, swordsmanship, as well as all the secret skills of Shaolin monks. But now times had changed. He not only needed these skills but also the abilities of a space superhero—able to emit light or ignite fire at will, possessing the might of Lei Gong (the thunder god). However, achieving all this seemed far from his current state. He decided to start from where he was, first learning how to fart stinkily from the weasel.
He chose this path because he believed that a superhero must possess biochemical weapons; relying solely on Shaolin's martial arts was outdated. For instance, if someone pulled out a gun from dozens of meters away and fired, you wouldn't even have time to squat down into a horse stance before you were finished. Moreover, using biochemical weapons didn’t involve legal liabilities. If you hit someone with a punch, everyone would see it, and if they died or were injured, there would be undeniable evidence against you. But with biochemical weapons, which left no trace, who could tell? Mastering biochemical weapons—that’s what made a real superhero!
The weasel’s farts were invisible and intangible, portable, and completely natural—truly an excellent biochemical weapon. Pickles had personally witnessed the weasel knocking out a large group of mice and frogs with just one stinky fart. Therefore, he decided to learn how to fart first.
Pickles became friends with the weasel, leaving everyone puzzled. They said that Pickles, such a honest child, had gone bad after acquiring some skills, always hanging around with the weasel, a little thug known for stealing chickens.
Pickles studied for quite a while. His farts grew louder and more powerful, but they lacked the foul smell. The weasel's farts could knock out mice and frogs, whereas Pickles' farts sounded like explosions, creating craters in the ground but remaining odorless. This left Pickles feeling helpless and deeply admiring the weasel. He did whatever the weasel told him. Once, when the weasel needed help stealing chickens, he tricked Pickles into helping by spreading rice to lure the hens out. Not only did they fail to steal any chickens, but they also lost a bag of rice, and everyone found out that Pickles had participated in the theft.
When the news reached Mapo Bing, she scolded Pickles and forbade him from associating with the weasel. Pickles stayed home for three days, reflecting on himself and realizing he had taken the wrong path. Hedgehogs’ spines and weasels’ farts were innate abilities, honed over centuries by their ancestors. If he blindly imitated them, it would take years just to learn how to fart stinkily, leaving no time to learn other skills or become a superhero. At this rate, roses would have already been married off. No, things couldn't continue like this. Pickles thought carefully and realized that what he truly wanted was the ability to produce a stench that could knock people out—not necessarily through farting. This way, he wouldn't need to strain himself every day trying to hold in farts but could instead focus on producing the stench.
Pickles locked himself in his room, skipping meals and baths, obsessively pondering how to create a stench. After a few days without finding a solution, he stepped outside and noticed everyone covering their noses when they saw him. It turned out that his long absence of bathing had made him sticky and smelly. Seeing others avoid him like this, Pickles was overjoyed, thinking, "Truly, heaven rewards those who seek." The stench he desired had come to him.
Half a month later, Pickles finally devised a method to make himself extremely foul-smelling. His stench not only knocked people out but also made them vomit uncontrollably, surpassing even the weasel's farts in power. Even the weasel gave him a thumbs up, saying, "Pickles, you've graduated."
Since acquiring this ability, Pickles helped his fellow villagers frequently. One day, when urban management officers came to dismantle Magpie's nest, claiming it was an unapproved structure affecting the cityscape, Magpie called Pickles for help. Standing there, Pickles immediately knocked out several officers with his stench. When the police arrived, they couldn’t do anything because hygiene was a personal choice beyond their jurisdiction. Since then, the urban management officers stopped bothering Mapo Bing's stall at the market. Seeing how effective Pickles' ability was, Mapo Bing suggested he use it to earn money. Pickles replied that helping villagers was fine, but making money wasn’t his goal—he still had many other skills to learn and was eager to become a superhero to meet Rose. Making money was too vulgar for him.