"Love always kills the 'fake' literati and 'fake' youth" (quoted from my former colleague Shakespeare@Qiang). My love seems to come even more fiercely. All previous blog posts describing my romantic life in Beijing have been "bookmarked". As for why "Days (6)" has "disappeared", I can only say so much. The sorrow of the 'fake' literary world! "Does it even let people live?" I would always mutter quietly. Tuesday, March 15, 2011, early morning, a slight spring chill, Room 1408, Building 14, Zixin North Li, Haidian District, Beijing.
Whenever I steal some leisure time to write something, I always look rather cheerful. Such days are not often had. The third year since I came to Beijing, accompanied by "Tentative" beginning amidst conflicts. At this time last year, I was already on the road looking for the next "class". But now, I am still sitting honestly at my workstation. It's not particularly comfortable, but here there is what I want. That's also the reason I continue to sit here. And realizing these things cost me quite a bit of time. I don't know where I got the courage to reject those interview notifications. I don't know if I've become too stubborn. But this is my "plan", or to put it nicely, my "career plan". Having adapted somewhat is also the reason I stay. After all, they're all good people. Work is getting busier, money is still lamentably scarce. I always love money dearly. Who doesn't? Many people will lose a few years of their life because of it. I think I won't be an exception, one day I might just get stuck there. My eulogy, I've already written in my diary, remember to take it out and engrave it for me! Actually, I'm quite content now. Even if next year is 2012!
Finally, it's time to talk about housing. Finally, I've also started learning from others to complain about the country. At the beginning of the year, I entertained the idea of buying a house, didn't even give me time to hesitate, the country settled it for me. Thank the Party! Thank the organization! Thank the government! Five years limit, it's like a contract. Heard that Beijing's third snowfall didn't land because the individual income tax wasn't paid enough. Seriously speaking, I've also understood my real thoughts. I do want to stay in Beijing. Not because Beijing is superior, but because I've adapted, with mixed feelings. This point is similar to why I haven't changed jobs. I sincerely hope the country (omitted "TMD") develops comprehensively within my lifetime... Of course, if I need to leave, I'll be at peace. Carefully thinking about it, the outside world's glittering nightlife is just that - outside. Regarding housing, well, let it fly a little longer.
Let's talk about the Spring Festival Gala. A "low-achiever" who only knows "small nine-nine multiplication tables" is "supported" by many into the "college entrance examination room". This kind of "support" has already become a kind of "fashionable fun"! And the greater "fun" is yet to come. The day the New Year's bell rings, is the end of the "exam". The crowd, who already knew the result, finally can't contain their long-planned mood. After all, this is a once-a-year, rare chance to vent! Who would miss it? Anyway, it's not their own "kid"! Scolding it then! The traditional custom of watching the Spring Festival Gala has transformed into scolding the gala, which is also a kind of "progress"! People's appreciation levels have improved! On normal days, artists who keep long hair and beards, who dare to jump out and call themselves "elegant", how many are there? Turning around to declare "elegance comes from vulgarity" still counts as knowing the times. "The Myth" ruined Chen Kaige, "Three Guns" ruined Zhang Yimou, "Spring Festival Gala" ruins countless second-tier directors... Are there fewer broken things in the literary world? The Spring Festival Gala's relentless destruction isn't much worse than Chinese football. Fifty steps laughing at a hundred steps. Whenever I think of the literary world, I actually have the impulse to participate in this "fashionable fun". I loved the Spring Festival Gala, because it gave me joy. I still love the Spring Festival Gala, because it gives me entertainment.
Let's talk about love. November 27, 2010, after failing in love N times, I succeeded. This is a date worth celebrating. What is love? Love is when she tells you to "get lost", and all you focus on is the "sincerity" in her pronunciation! That's called love! A movie, a lousy hot pot meal, a late-night bus ride, plus a simple confession, everything just feels so natural, that's fate! There are many ways to love, such as pursuing, reminiscing, or settling, we met and rejoiced. I'm willing to let her manage, she's willing to have me accompany, where else can you go to argue?
I asked her, "If I get old, would you push me into the sea like Ge You? (imitating "If You Are the One 2")"
She said, "I would!"
How great! How sincere!
She asked me, "Do you think I'm pretty?"
I said, "The moonlight tonight is really beautiful..."
She said, "Get lost!"
How great! How exciting!
...
In everyone's heart, there is their own "prince" or "princess", too abstract. And this abstraction only exists in simple specifics, like a white horse, a dress... But reality is reality. You need to close your eyes, discard imagination, feel with your heart, express with sincerity, and then what you harvest is true love. My parents should be happy, because finally someone has "tamed" me.
Let's talk about Japan. "Lightning storm" plus "nuclear explosion", images that originally only appeared in Red Alert, were truly and vividly staged, even more brutally. Regarding what happened in Japan, I was originally indifferent. Can you kill thirty thousand of us, and not allow the heavens to claim a few lives from you? But we aren't the victims at this moment! In the face of natural disasters, there's true "equality for all"! What's the difference between the tsunami refugees in Sendai and the survivors of the Wenchuan earthquake? The same helplessness! In the real images, I felt real pain. We shouldn't forget history, but our present is more important. So—don't curse "devils" anymore, the mainland film industry already has genuine Japanese actors, "repenting" by playing their "predecessors"; don't call anyone "sticks", South Koreans never invaded our territory like fascists; don't use India's negative news to make a fuss, India is also a developing country; don't brag about our GDP being the second in the world, our CPI talks more "power"... China! Is still! And will remain for a long time! In the basic national conditions of the "primary stage of socialism", nothing has changed!!
Burp, clear the intestines, feeling much better! Sleep...