Chinese-Canadian single mother's fleeting romance: After the passion fades_175

&；nbsp； Narrator: Jessica, female, &；lt； &；lt； Narrator: Jessica, female. From a city in the Jiangnan region of China, she immigrated to Canada four years ago and currently works for a bank in Toronto. One day, she suddenly realized &；lt； One day, she suddenly realized that among the Chinese community in this city, there seems to be an increasing trend of single mothers around her. I wonder if you have the same feeling. Online, women often post about how they can't go on with their lives and want to get divorced &；lt； Online, it's common to see women posting that they can no longer continue their lives and wish to divorce. Netizens advise them not to act impulsively, as being a single mother isn't easy and staying with someone for a long time feels similar eventually. However, in reality &；lt； However, in reality, all the single mothers I know are doing pretty well. They work hard outside, take good care of their children at home, maintain active social lives, and some even lead colorful lives. Of course, some might argue that these are just surface appearances, and the hardships are indescribable to outsiders. Maybe so. Therefore &；lt； Therefore, it’s unclear whether Jessica's experience as a single mother is representative or merely exceptional. But I can say that like many single mothers &；lt； But I can say that like many single mothers, Jessica has a very sexy appearance and demeanor, exuding the charm of an Eastern mature woman. It's said that this type is universally appealing across all age groups, which has been verified in her case. As she summarized, after getting divorced, she found herself quite popular with men. However &；lt； However, after each passionate relationship fades, she quietly reflects and feels confused and helpless. The charm that attracts men seems to bring only fleeting romances, while she desires a family—a happy home with a husband and children. Her marriage ended more than three years ago after lasting over nine years &；lt； Her marriage ended more than three years ago after lasting over nine years. By then, her son was already eight years old. For most of those eight years, I was unhappy and spent my days arguing. Back in China &；lt； Back in China, her ex-husband was a department manager at a foreign company, his parents were highly educated intellectuals, whereas she was just a regular bank employee from a very ordinary background. Therefore, many people, including himself, thought she had married above her station. They believed she should feel fortunate and humbly play the role of a virtuous wife and caring mother, but she still had a "temper." Consequently, their home was filled with constant conflict. During that period, she also had an extramarital affair. Adding to the tension were the criticisms from his parents... In short, they had almost divorced several times. However, their mutual love for their son kept the two of them under the same roof despite their estrangement. Later &；lt； Later, she suggested changing the environment might help her, and he agreed. So, they moved here. But reality shattered her illusions; the unfamiliar environment did not improve their relationship but instead worsened it. She didn't like it here, finding it too dull, and was picky when looking for jobs. Eventually, she found one she liked, but they didn't hire him. So, she became a "stay-at-home" mom while adapting well to life here, quickly finding work in her field despite a low salary, which she was satisfied with. Thus, the household turned into a situation where the woman handled both inside and outside responsibilities, while the man handled neither. During the day, their son went to school, and since she couldn't cook or do housework, she spent her days online chatting, playing games, and ordering takeout... In the evenings, exhausted from the day, she ignored his hints for intimacy. Initially, he would force himself, but later stopped making demands, seemingly indifferent. Finally, one day &；lt； Finally, one day, her patience reached its limit when she discovered he had reconnected with his lover back in China. They were exchanging heartfelt messages daily on MSN. His anger and resentment also erupted. He called her a boring and cold woman, shouting about returning to China and wanting a divorce... Yet, he remained a responsible man, leaving her and their son with 200,000 Canadian dollars and agreeing that he wouldn't need to pay child support anymore. To be honest &；lt； To be honest, ending this marriage made me feel liberated, and I believe he felt the same way. Next &；lt； Next, I bought a condo and settled down with my son, starting the life of a single mother. Over the next three years, I experienced several relationships. Some were just ambiguous relations between men and women, which I won’t mention. I'll only talk about a few who stayed with me for a relatively longer time. Little A is a mainland immigrant &；lt； Little A is a mainland immigrant. An IT worker, he is four years younger than me &；lt； Four years younger than me, we met at a net gathering when my son was in China for the summer vacation, and I was quite bored, so I often participated in outdoor activities. Little A comes from a provincial capital in the north, a sunny big boy, different from other male technical immigrants, with a fresh and clean quality that I liked. The first time we met &；lt； The first time we met, I could sense he had a strong liking for me. At that time, he had just arrived and didn’t have a car yet, so I sent him home. On the way, I proactively "confessed" that I was a single mother because I didn't want him to waste his feelings. After that &；lt； After that, every weekend he would invite me to go hiking or something similar. I thought having a friend was nice. However, as the saying goes, “time breeds affection.” Spending a lot of time alone together gradually made our feelings become subtle. Moreover, we had a lot in common. Once, after watching a movie and having dinner, it seemed we weren't ready to part, so I invited him home. I forgot who initiated it, but we kissed and made love. At the happiest moment &；lt； I forgot who initiated it, but we kissed and made love. At the happiest moment, I suddenly cried, saying it had been a long time since I had done it. Originally, his previous girlfriend had deeply hurt him, making him somewhat afraid of emotions and women. But that time, although usually sexually indifferent, he experienced the joy of sexual harmony like a virgin... Then &；lt； Then, he moved in with me because we both wanted to be together all the time. Being young, we had many needs in that aspect, which made me feel like a changed person, becoming very unrestrained and warm-hearted. Perhaps due to living with my ex-husband, Little A also couldn't do any housework &；lt； Perhaps due to living with my ex-husband, Little A also couldn't do any housework. I naturally accepted this point. Besides, cooking and washing for the person I loved made me feel happy. Many times, I thought he was like a big child who needed my care, and perhaps women in age-gap relationships all have this feeling to some extent. He occasionally told me that except for his mother, no woman had ever been so good and considerate to him. His previous girlfriends were all capricious, needing him to flatter and take care of them. After some time &；lt； After some time, my son was coming back. Originally, I said he should move out because I feared my son wouldn't accept the situation. But when the time came, neither of us wanted to separate. I went to the airport to pick up my son and awkwardly told him on the way: Mom has a boyfriend who will live with us. Nowadays, children mature early, and my son wasn't particularly surprised or resistant. He just asked: Will you still play with me? Will you still tell me stories before bed? After giving him a definite answer, he said okay. Little A got along well with my son &；lt； Little A got along well with my son. The two often played games and watched cartoons together, while I busied myself in the kitchen cooking delicious food for them. This was the picture I had always aspired to and wanted to last forever... But after living together for half a year &；lt； But after living together for half a year, one day, my son suddenly asked him when he would become my dad? He fell silent, and my heart sank. Before that, I had already sensed his affection for me was fading, but I consoled myself, thinking every relationship would eventually turn calm, and calm relationships last longer. After that day &；lt； After that day, Little A often fell silent, looking troubled. Sensing something was wrong, sure enough, one evening a week later, he told me: I think I can't give you a future. There are some things I can't bear, and my parents won't accept it either. We should break up. I was extremely sad, hugging him and crying: Don't talk about the future, don't break up. He also cried but said: I feel I can't face you because I know that as long as we're together, you will expect a future every day... Actually, he was right, at least at that time &；lt； Actually, he was right, at least at that time. My purpose in dating was still to get married. But I didn't want to let go easily. Subconsciously, I thought he could change because he had once loved me madly. Now, thinking back, I'm not sure if he really loved me or if he just needed me physically and mentally to help him transition through his initial confusion of being in a foreign country. So, I did something I couldn't even believe myself &；lt； So, I did something I couldn't even believe myself. Every day, I started teasing him, forcing him to make love with me, thinking this could make him stay by sheer desperation... But could forced happiness be joyful? He no longer showed the excitement and passion he once did... After nearly a month of turmoil &；lt； After nearly a month of turmoil, I finally gave up. This relationship &；lt； This relationship, perhaps because it was my first real love, made me experience and change so much that the pain after breaking up was deeper. For a long time, seeing a shirt he left behind would make me burst into tears uncontrollably.

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