Hokkien jokes

by zhoukv87 on 2010-04-16 22:52:01

Hokkien jokes Ahua prepared a program for the school evening party, getting up at dawn to practice reciting a poem. Ahua's father came over: "Monkey die kid, 7 early 8 early, rely on back rely on wood. What are you doing?" Ahua was annoyed and replied: "Reciting (person refreshed)!" Ahua's father got angry: "Show off, today I will teach you a lesson..."

"Sir, hello, I am Hu Nisi (? Physics) student." The sir said: "... Me too..."

"I Hu Nisi (? Physics) afterwards, it is Hu Ni Sai (? Reason)."

One day the nurse saw the sir panting for breath, and hastily took out an oxygen mask.

"Nurse: 'Sir, I know you are very tired, I give you oxygen, suck suck and you will be happy."

Later, the sir's wife hurriedly arrived at the hospital.

Grandma: "Nurse lady, where is my old partner?"

The nurse pointed to the morgue: "They have already carried him away."

Grandma: "Old partner...!"

The nurse said: "You don't need to worry, later you can go to the neighboring coffin room (? Examination Room) to see him, Jianghan."

One day, the teacher handed out the exam papers...

"Liao Shufen, 60 points! You, your name sounds like 60 points but that doesn't mean you should score 60 points!" The teacher said unhappily...

"Wu Shufen, 50 points! You, even worse than Liao Shufen!" The teacher continued angrily...

Next, the teacher handed out the next paper with an even more irritated tone:

"Ke Zha Fen (Hokkien), 10 points! Oh, you're the same! Just because your name sounds like 10 points, you scored 10 points?!"

At this moment...

"Ahh! I'm done..." Ke Shufen's younger sister started feeling uneasy...

The teacher sighed and handed out the third paper helplessly: "Not to mention, you two sisters are really outrageous..."

"Ke Ling Fen (Hokkien)... 0 points!" The teacher shook his head and said: "You two should learn from your brother, he always scores full marks, you two shouldn't keep scoring such results."

Ke Shufen and Ke Ling Fen cursed in their hearts:

"It's all because our parents named our brother...

Ke Ji Ba!!!"

There was an old woman who went to the store, and asked the shopkeeper: "Do you sell charcoal?"

The shopkeeper asked: "Do you want charcoal for roasting or for grilling meat?"

The old woman replied: "Roast you until you die! I want washing powder 'Downy'!"

One day, an auntie and her son went out, the son kept crying for pizza...

Then he cried: "Auntie Auntie, I want to eat pizza..."

Then the auntie, sighing, told the child that he couldn't eat it... But the child kept crying, so the auntie helplessly dug out a booger and fed it into the child's mouth.

During the Qing Dynasty when the text of Fujian became popular, there was a eunuch who traveled to Fujian, and found that everyone spoke Min Nan language.

Suddenly, he had an idea: "If I learn Min Nan, when I return to the capital, I can boast about it to others."

So, he earnestly learned some simple and easy Min Nan phrases from the locals. After returning to the capital, he couldn't wait to show off. One day, when the imperial kitchen announced it was time for the emperor to eat, he shouted loudly: "Congratulations to His Majesty eating... Your Majesty eat!"

When the emperor heard this, he was extremely angry, and ordered him to be beheaded!

An already drunk uncle rushed to the emergency room, and the nurse gave him a form to fill out. He only wrote "Lin" and then stopped. The nurse asked: "What Lin?" The uncle replied: "I drank sorghum wine." The nurse said: "No, what's your name?" The uncle replied again: "My name is Sea Wind and Beef..."

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