As the saying goes: "Carrots and Chinese cabbage, each has their own preference." Just as people have different dietary preferences, in a couple's sex life, each person may also have their own sexual preferences. This is a normal psychological and physiological phenomenon. Sex life is a normal physiological need and psychological comfort in a couple's life. Therefore, couples should frankly tell each other about their sexual preferences, which can better improve the quality of their sex life, no need to hide, even if your sexual preference seems a bit "out of line."
As long as it does not violate ethics and morality, and does not harm physical and mental health, both husband and wife should fully understand and accept each other to achieve harmony in sex life.
Play 1: The Greatest Satisfaction
Mr. Liang is a football player who met Miss Chen, a petite and gentle middle school teacher, at a friend's gathering. They fell in love at first sight.
After six months of passionate courtship, Mr. Liang and Miss Chen got married happily. On their wedding night, Mr. Liang was afraid that his strong body would hurt his wife. Seeing her husband tiptoeing around, his wife smiled and softly said, "You're making yourself tired, relax a little." "I'm afraid I'll hurt you." "You won't," she said, blushing. Seeing her shy expression, Mr. Liang became even more careful, like walking on thin ice. He hoped to present himself as gentlemanly as possible so as not to make his teacher-wife think he was too rough.
After one sexual encounter, Mrs. Liang inexplicably flew into a rage, saying that her husband didn't really want to have a sex life with her, each time just pretending. It turns out that the seemingly quiet Mrs. Liang actually craved a passionate and natural emotional life. She originally fell for Mr. Liang because of his athletic figure and hearty character on the football field. During the dating period, she often watched him play soccer. Every time she saw him wearing a fiery red V-neck jersey, galloping like a wild horse on the green field, she felt an indescribable sense of satisfaction.
Analysis: The wife's complaints made Mr. Liang very angry. He said since they got married, he had accommodated his wife in everything, even during sex, fearing that he might hurt her, causing him great mental tension. Only then did Mrs. Liang realize that her husband did all this for her. Thus, she candidly told her husband that she actually admired the masculine beauty of strength and robustness, rather than excessive gentleness. Then the couple adjusted their way of having sex, resulting in Mrs. Liang achieving the greatest satisfaction. And from then on, Mr. Liang could discard some unnecessary concerns, leading to a smooth and natural marital life.
Mrs. Liang's sexual preference was for her partner to be rough during sex activities. Mr. Liang, fearing that his wife might find him too rough, deliberately tried to create "gentleness," which instead caused dissatisfaction among his wife. Through communication, the couple adjusted the way of sexual activity, and from then on, they cooperated tacitly in their sex life.
Play 2: Not Part of the Majority
Before getting married, Mr. Zhang seriously read many books about sexual knowledge. He read in one book that the clitoris (female physiology) is the most important sexual sensitive area for women. After marriage, when having sex, he found it difficult for his wife to reach orgasm. He thought: it must be that he wasn't doing well enough, not giving her enough stimulation, so he stimulated his wife's clitoris. His wife pushed his hand away. He smiled at his wife and said, "I'm doing this for you, you'll get used to it eventually." The obedient wife looked at her husband and nodded.
Thereafter, every time they had sex, Mr. Zhang would do this. However, every time his wife would involuntarily frown. So he made his actions gentler and observed his wife, whose expression seemed better. It must be that the previous action was too stimulating, he thought, and decided that next time he should pay attention not to make the action too intense.
Finally, one day, the wife gathered up the courage and asked Mr. Zhang, "Can you not do that?" "You don't like it?" Mr. Zhang was quite surprised. "I feel very uncomfortable. It's like when the doctor checks for sand eyes and touches your eyelid, it's that kind of feeling." "Is that so? How come the book says wives like husbands to do that?" "I don't like it, I always hope you finish quickly." "Why didn't you say earlier?" It turned out that for two years the wife had been enduring such pain, which was terrible. Mr. Zhang regretted endlessly.
Analysis: For most women, appropriate touching of the clitoris by their husbands indeed causes sexual pleasure. But there are exceptions; some women strongly dislike their husbands touching their clitoris, finding it as uncomfortable as touching the conjunctiva of the eye. In such situations, the husband absolutely cannot force the touch but should communicate more with his wife about sexual feelings. According to Hite's Sexual Behavior Report, 70% of women cannot reach orgasm through direct stimulation of the clitoris. Therefore, the threshold for sexual stimulation that can cause excitement varies for each woman, and thus stronger stimulation isn't necessarily better.
Play 3: An Unexpected Discovery
One time, while commuting to work, Mr. Yang collided with someone else, falling off his bike and injuring his knee. His wife applied medicine for him, and he whispered into her ear, "This is good, you'll have to endure being alone for ten days or so." His wife winked at him but said nothing.
That evening, Mr. Yang hugged his wife and said, "What to do? I want to be intimate with you." His wife smiled without speaking and engaged in sex with her husband using the woman-on-top position. Mr. Yang happily asked, "Where did you learn this?" His wife replied, "It's in the book."
From then on, Mr. Yang developed a preference for the woman-on-top position and always requested his wife to use it. After a while, his wife became unhappy. She teasingly pointed at her husband and said, "You're always so lazy, it won't work! Tonight you're on top." It turned out Mr. Yang's wife preferred the man-on-top position.
Thus, the young couple agreed that during future sex lives, they would alternate between the man-on-top and woman-on-top positions. This way, both parties could gain maximum satisfaction during sexual activities.
Analysis: Different sexual positions during a couple's sex life indeed give both sides different feelings. Therefore, what kind of position to adopt requires understanding and communication between the couple.
Play 4: Accidental Excitement
Mr. Li works in the trade department. He frequently travels on business and spends little time at home.
Once, Mr. Li went on another business trip, which lasted a month. When he returned home that day, it was already 11 PM. As soon as he entered the house, he told his wife that he was extremely tired and needed to sleep immediately. At midnight, his wife wanted to engage in sexual activity with him. Mr. Li embraced his wife and murmured, "I'm too tired, you need to take the initiative." Then his wife actively caressed his external genitalia, making Mr. Li feel very excited, and she initiated sexual activity.
Originally, this was an accidental act by the wife, yet it greatly excited Mr. Li. When his wife gently caressed him, he felt her deep affection and believed it was her sincere acceptance of him. From then on, he developed a preference for this practice and required his wife to do it every time they had sex.
Initially, Mrs. Li didn't have any special thoughts about it, but later, when she talked to a close girlfriend, she learned that prostitutes and clients also did this. Thus, she suspected her husband of having frequented prostitutes and no longer willingly helped him insert.
Her baseless suspicion made Mr. Li very angry, and this emotion made him desire to experience the pleasure he once obtained, resulting in sexual disharmony between the couple.
Later, both Mr. and Mrs. Li came to a sexual counseling clinic for help. The doctor told Mrs. Li that this was just a normal sexual preference of her husband, and as a wife, she should fully understand and accept it.
Analysis: Mr. Li's sexual preference was for his wife to help with insertion. Due to the wife's lack of proper understanding of her husband's sexual preference, it led to misunderstanding between them. In such situations, they should seek help from relevant books or doctors to reach a consensus on sexual preferences, thereby eliminating misunderstandings and establishing new sexual harmony.
Play 5: There’s Something Strange
Ms. Huang's husband died in a car accident, and she wept daily, unable to extricate herself from her grief. Mr. Deng, who had deeply loved Ms. Huang since he was young and remained unmarried, often came to visit her, showing her utmost care. A year later, Ms. Huang married Mr. Deng. After marriage, the two were very loving towards each other.
However, there was one thing that puzzled Mr. Deng: each time they had sex, Ms. Huang found it hard to get into the mood. Her attentive husband sensed something strange and asked whether she still missed her deceased ex-husband. She nodded and shook her head: "Let's not bring up the past." "But I don't understand, why are you so cold to me?" "Not cold, but..." Ms. Huang hesitated to speak. "Can you tell me the reason?" Mr. Deng sincerely asked. Her husband's sincerity moved her, and she revealed her secret.
It turns out that Ms. Huang must stimulate her breasts to produce sexual excitement, after which she can reach orgasm. After understanding his wife's characteristics, her husband changed his approach, making sure she became excited quickly during each sexual encounter, allowing her to enter the best state of sexual arousal swiftly.
Analysis: Ms. Huang's sexual preference was breast stimulation. After she honestly told her husband, her considerate husband changed his approach, satisfying her sexual needs, enabling both partners to enter the optimal state together.
Play 6: Appointment After Noon Rest
Mr. Tang liked to have sex after waking up, believing that after sufficient rest, a person could engage in sexual activities at their best state.
When they first got married, Mrs. Tang could follow her husband's schedule and have sex in the morning.
After having a child, Mrs. Tang had to take care of the baby at night, becoming exhausted by morning. To get a few more minutes of sleep, she often skipped breakfast and rushed to work. In such circumstances, Mrs. Tang, of course, couldn't have sex with her husband in the morning as she used to. This made Mr. Tang somewhat unhappy.
Later, after discussing, the couple decided to move their sexual activities to noon. Thus, whenever either party hinted at wanting to have sex, they would agree to go home at noon. This way, they could enjoy their intimacy without the disturbance of their child (who was sent to daycare) after a full nap.
Analysis: Mr. Tang's sexual preference was to have sex after a full sleep. Although their sexual activities were once disturbed by their child, they quickly solved the problem by adjusting the timing. Mr. and Mrs. Tang's positive attitude is commendable.
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