1. Woman: "As long as I have money, I'll marry anyone." Man: "Will you marry the safe in the bank?"
2. The difference between men and women when arguing is like the difference between a pistol and a machine gun.
3. My wife wants to lose weight, so she rides a horse every day. As a result, the horse lost 40 pounds in a month.
4. Patient: "Doctor, you left the scissors in my stomach." Doctor: "No problem, I still have another one."
5. Judge: Why did you print fake money? Defendant innocently said: Because I don't know how to print real money.
6. Wife: "Men are all cowards." Husband: "Not necessarily, otherwise why would I marry you."
7. Top line: Hahahahaha, bottom line: Hehehehehe. Horizontal inscription: Mental illness.
8. First year: He talks, she listens. Second year: She talks, he listens. Third year: They both talk, the neighbors listen.
9. If we still can't change the cold world we live in, at least I still have your beautiful face that melts the ice and snow.
10. Thief A: "Quick, count how much money we robbed today?" Thief B: "No need, just check the newspaper tomorrow."
11. Teacher: "Peter, do you know how many years a rat can live?" Peter: "That depends on what the cat has in mind."
12. Kangaroo said to the dog: "I can put my mobile phone in my pocket, but you can only hang it on your butt!"
13. Zhu Bajie: "My name is Sai Pan An now, many beauties are waiting for me!" Sun Wukong: "You must be online, idiot."