On February 10, 2012, in a certain internet cafe in Wuhan Donghu New Village, Tu Shiyou held up her virginity appraisal document. CFP provided the photo.
A 38-year-old female master's degree holder created the "Chastity Website" which became an instant hit, and she admitted to feeling immense mental pressure. In a special interview, she stated that she could accept a partner who was not chaste before marriage.
Was it for hype? Or for finding a marriage partner? Since February 10, after Tu Shiyou, a 38-year-old female master's degree holder from Wuhan University, self-created the "Chastity Website" and "shared" her medical virginity appraisal, she has experienced the busiest three days of her life. "I didn't know what to do after waking up every day, I was under great mental pressure, my head hurt a lot, mainly because I was giving interviews."
Unlike many people in recent years who desperately wanted to become famous online through艳photos or revealing behavior, Tu Shiyou took a different path. She used a set of "chastity theories" that sounded outdated and inappropriate to modern ears to describe herself - even in cyberspace, such behavior seemed out of line and unconventional. During the special interview, what left a deep impression was Tu Shiyou clearly stating her conditions for an ideal partner. However, when the reporter asked her if she required her partner to also adhere to the principle of premarital chastity, she frankly admitted "it's hard to find someone like that," because "I started advocating this too late."
Written by our reporters Qiu RuiXian and Yang Yang.
Yesterday morning, Tu Shiyou, as agreed, answered the phone in a net cafe. Her self-founded website, Yaping Chastity Network, had been paralyzed due to a surge in visits over the past few days.
First Question: Was it for hype?
"Knew there would be some spread effect but did not expect such a wave of attacks"
When logging into "Yaping Chastity Network", the structure of the website is very simple, mainly divided into two major modules: "Recent Hot Discussions" and "Premarital Chastity". The content of recent hot discussions is very eye-catching, with news focus topics like "13-year-old girl prostituting in a disco bar" and "How much more harmonious are marriages of virgins", as well as announcements on the site like "Be cautious! Which kinds of people are most likely to take away a woman's first time." By paying 10 yuan via Alipay, one can become a "supporter" of the site. Tu Shiyou, currently a freelance writer, gave an interview to our newspaper.
Guangzhou Daily: As someone who studied journalism, wouldn't you have expected such a big attention and response?
Tu Shiyou: I had a psychological expectation, but the actual experience these past few days was different from what I foresaw.
I originally hoped to create a positive guidance for society, but I didn't expect so many attacks. My head has been hurting these past two days, I couldn't get out of bed for a long time, and when I did, I just sat there dazedly.
Guangzhou Daily: Have you encountered any harassment?
Tu Shiyou: Basically no. Mainly, a lot of people on QQ want to add me as a friend, which affects my work.
Guangzhou Daily: In real life, have your neighbors treated you differently?
Tu Shiyou: A little different, but still kindly. Because they know me well. I think promoting this concept gives me a positive image.
Guangzhou Daily: Your website collapsed due to too many visits, and many people think you might have profited from it.
Tu Shiyou: Registration on my website is free, everyone can express themselves freely. But if you want to become a supporter of the website, you need to pay 10 yuan. Because I will spend a lot of energy providing answers, while also providing materials written by myself and authoritative materials from experts.
Although this matter is a public welfare action, I alone cannot continue it, I hope to accumulate funds for future preparations.
Guangzhou Daily: Have you thought about why your concept has attracted so many attacks?
Tu Shiyou: First, there are some speculations and misunderstandings about me personally and my actions; Second, after more than 30 years of reform and opening up, many people have already accepted the concept of sexual openness, so they instinctively dislike me; Third, it may be because people worry that I alone cannot accomplish this, so they don't have confidence in me.
Second Question: Is it for finding a marriage partner?
"Men with a preference for virgins should learn from me"
After graduation, many classmates were assigned to various schools, fell in love, got married, and had children, while Tu Shiyou devoted more energy to studying. She said that male classmates did pursue her, but she was too focused on studying, and everything regarding feelings happened naturally.
Guangzhou Daily: At 38 years old, do you feel a lot of pressure in terms of marriage and relationships?
Tu Shiyou: I basically have no pressure now. If I meet the right person, I will also make efforts to create and seize opportunities.
Guangzhou Daily: What kind of person would you choose?
Tu Shiyou: I would choose someone with a master's degree or higher, around the same age, good-looking, physically healthy, taller than 1.72 meters. There are no requirements regarding money, but we must genuinely love each other.
Guangzhou Daily: You probably won't find someone who remains chaste before marriage.
Tu Shiyou: Basically impossible to find, so I've given up.
Guangzhou Daily: Therefore, others might say that your concept is not feasible.
Tu Shiyou: What I advocate, I have already achieved myself. I don't have the right to require others to do the same, I can only influence them. If men in their thirties today could have accepted this concept in their teens, they might be able to achieve it now. I started advocating this too late.
Guangzhou Daily: You said you will persist on one hand, and yield to reality on the other.
Tu Shiyou: I advocate this concept after more than 30 years of reform and opening up, it's impossible for a large number of pure men and women in their thirties to suddenly appear. This might only happen in five or ten years.
Third Question: Being called an "old maid"?
"You can't experience my happiness"
"Being a 38-year-old 'old maid' itself means failure." Regarding this kind of "attack," Tu Shiyou appeared quite open-minded.
Guangzhou Daily: I saw that in the chastity view you published on the website, you explicitly said "aiming to advocate premarital chastity among youths aged 23 and below." Why this age group?
Tu Shiyou: Surveys show that the proportion of young men and women aged 23 to 25 who do not engage in premarital sex is already quite low, so I focus my main efforts on the group aged 23 and below.
Guangzhou Daily: Some netizens say that being a 38-year-old virgin in today's society actually means failure. What do you think?
Tu Shiyou: Everyone's understanding of happiness is different. I can't experience your happiness, and you can't experience mine either.
Guangzhou Daily: Some experts believe that your advocacy is contradictory to social reality and lacks operability.
Tu Shiyou: I think it is still feasible. On the first day the report came out, more than 59% of the people supported me in the Sina.com survey.
Guangzhou Daily: What are your plans for the future?
Tu Shiyou: To thank those who support me, I will overcome difficulties and continue operating the website, continue carrying this banner, and I don't want to disappoint their hopes and trust.
Expert: At least it is a reflection but lacks operability
Director Zheng Zizhen of the Institute of Sociology and Demography at Guangdong Academy of Social Sciences said in an interview with reporters: Now the concept and behavior of sex have strayed too far from tradition. At this point, someone proposing to do such a thing, from a positive perspective, is at least a reflection.
Professor Lu Ying, Director of the Women's Gender Research Center at Sun Yat-sen University, believed that this is Tu Shiyou's personal choice. Perhaps it is self-admiration, but we should also pay attention.
Lu Ying does not encourage premarital sexual behavior. More often, women are harmed after premarital sexual behavior, and women should protect themselves. Meanwhile, society should pay more attention to the group of older unmarried women. It is not appropriate to label these women as "leftover women" first.
However, Professor Shang Congsheng of Wuhan University expressed to the media that under the current diversified society, Tu Shiyou's advocacy is contradictory to social reality, so although Tu Shiyou's personal starting point may be good, it lacks operability.