Key points: Only children, although pampered from a young age and having a strong dependency, once these post-80s become mothers, a natural maternal instinct drives them to strive to be competent moms.
Fashion and Vanity: Even when pregnant and no longer slim, expectant mothers still try to dress fashionably. Besides traditional maternity wear, they also like to purchase Korean-style maternity dresses online. After childbirth, regaining their figure becomes a top priority.
High Education: Most young post-80s mothers have received higher education. Before becoming pregnant, they generally plan accordingly. When problems arise, they prefer to seek solutions from books or the internet.
Good use of the Internet: They enjoy documenting their child's growth by taking photos and writing blogs. They like creating growth blogs for their babies online and frequently visit mom forums to learn parenting tips and solve daily issues.
As the first generation under China's one-child policy, the post-80s were raised in a protected and cherished environment. Time flies, and now these people are gradually growing up; many have even become parents. What happens when the post-80s become mothers? On the occasion of Mother's Day, let's take a look at these young moms from the post-80s generation. As young mothers, while they may not yet fully take care of themselves, they already need to care for their children. However, they have their own unique parenting views and special methods as mothers. Although many of these methods may not be easily accepted by traditional perspectives, the fact that post-80s mothers are becoming the mainstream cannot be ignored.
Survey:
● Survey Analysis
Not allowing oneself to abandon fashion for childcare
Among the 23 young mothers surveyed, 78% were only daughters, and 48% were highly educated. The notions of being spoiled and not knowing how to take care of others surround the post-80s only children, but once they become mothers, a natural maternal instinct drives them to strive to be competent moms. However, post-80s young mothers do not allow themselves to neglect fashion while taking care of their babies. Even when heavily pregnant and no longer slender, expectant mothers still try to dress beautifully. Of course, achieving both would be ideal. Post-80s young mothers aren't as fragile as we imagine. They have personalities, ideals, and new ideas about fashion and parenting, which might seem heretical to elders, but they are trying...
Fashionable Parenting
Enjoying Learning Online and Enjoying the Fun of "Taking Care" of Babies
The birth of a baby gradually changes the lives of post-80s young mothers. Selfies turn into baby pictures, personal blogs transform into baby growth blogs (if there's time to write), and forum gossip about fashion turns into reading other people's parenting experiences on mom forums... Compared to previous generations of mothers, post-80s place more emphasis on enjoying the fun of "taking care" of their babies.
Writing Blogs, Taking Photos to Record Growth
Before having a baby, 30% of women attend "Expectant Mother Training Classes," while 70% choose to read parenting manuals. They have received good educations, so despite lacking experience, they know how to absorb parenting knowledge and skills from books and teacher instruction.
It is understood that young mothers' favorite activity is using digital cameras to record their baby's daily growth. Chiyanna says, "Watching the baby grow day by day gives me a sense of accomplishment. Making a baby growth album is also a way to document this phase of my life."
Chiyanna enjoys online shopping, visiting forums for gossip and fashion information. After becoming a mother, she spends most of her time on mom forums online. "Without parenting experience, I go online to see what others do, such as which brand of diapers is better, how to help the baby repel mosquitoes, etc." And whenever she has doubts, Chiyanna posts the baby's situation online to discuss with other young mothers. "Everyone pitches in with advice, and the problem is basically resolved."
Even with Nannies, Willing to Personally "Take Care" of Babies
The impression of post-80s is that they are pampered. Despite having knowledge and culture, can they persist in taking care of their babies? Shouldn't taking care of the baby be the responsibility of the parents? In the survey, the reporter was surprised to find that when the responsibility of motherhood falls on their shoulders, the post-80s resolutely say, "Let me take care of the baby." Even with the help of nannies or parents, they are willing to personally take care of their babies, despite being accustomed to being taken care of by their parents from a young age. Xiao Fan's words represent the sentiments of most young mothers: "Taking care of the baby is an experience, a cultivation of emotions. In persistence, I understand the meaning of raising a child through hardships, feel more affection for the baby, and respect my parents' efforts more." Moreover, personally taking care of the baby helps better cultivate the baby's character development.
Most young mothers express that their parents have helped a lot with taking care of the baby. Although they may not entirely agree with their parents' methods, they patiently communicate with them.
Baby is Important, Personal Beauty is Also Important
In interviews, most young mothers expressed concerns about postpartum body recovery. Before fully recovering from postpartum weakness, some eligible young mothers eagerly join yoga classes, and some gyms even offer specialized postpartum yoga classes to help restore shape. Some also search online for nutritional advice on postpartum skin care, etc.
Once you become a mother, you revolve around your baby all day, looking tired. Post-80s mothers love their babies, but they absolutely do not allow themselves to become "worn out and old-looking." Xiao Fang often finds time to shop online for clothes or go shopping with friends, though shopping will always include stopping by baby product stores. "Having a baby, but we still have our own lives and work. The baby isn't everything. Loving beauty and motherhood are both innate qualities of women."
Children's Health and Happiness Are More Important Than Anything Else
During interviews, it was found that regarding their babies' futures, young mothers' answers were surprisingly similar - hoping their babies grow up healthy and happy. Expecting children to become successful or achieve greatness is not something post-80s young mothers currently demand or hope for. They mostly grew up under their parents' eager expectations, bearing too much pressure. Post-80s young mothers prefer to watch their babies grow up healthily and happily according to their own personalities.
When Nannan was still in the womb, she started receiving prenatal education from her mother Xiao Fang, including classical music, poetry, English, etc. After Nannan was born, Xiao Fang did not continue this "beautiful cultivation," feeling that prenatal education was just intellectual stimulation. "Life is much better now, unlike before when it was difficult. As long as the baby is healthy and happy, it's better than anything else."
In communicating with their babies, they don't see themselves as "stern" mothers but rather as little children or treat their babies as adults to exchange with, even if the babies may not understand. Xiao Fan believes that the equal educational methods between parents and children in Western societies are more favored by post-80s. "Education isn't just forced demands and unquestioned execution. Parents educating the baby as friends, I think, yields better results."
BBS
Are Post-80s Mothers Competent?
Liuquanhan: Post-80s mothers can tirelessly entertain their babies, can hold a DV camera to film their babies all day long, recording every moment of their growth, but when it comes to mundane tasks like changing diapers, they quickly hand it over to grandparents, showing reliance on the elderly.
Xiaoxiao's Happy Life: I was born in 1980, and my son is two and a half years old. I take good care of him. I accept some traditional opinions, but more often I rely on books, the internet, and doctors, using scientific methods to take care of him, focusing more on cultivating his personality and gratitude. Many of my friends who are also post-80s mothers do a great job.
Sweet Capsule: I am from the post-80s generation, unmarried, and without children, but I think if I had a child, I would definitely love and nurture him well. Every mother surely loves her child deeply.
Fan: I was born in 1982, and my daughter is two years old. Now she's pouting and sleeping. No matter how busy I am with work, I always accompany her into sleep. All young mothers, I think we should spend more time with our children and not leave them to the elders!
Anonymous: A post-80s mother born in 1984, loving vanity but tied down by the baby, haha, remember once I wore an oversized earring, and the baby's hand reached out... Thus realizing, no matter how beautiful, I'm still the baby's mom! The baby is eight months old, and I'm currently a full-time "baby-taker." I started writing a diary for the baby during pregnancy. Although sometimes it gets boring, happiness prevails!
Nianzhu: Talking about raising children, I don't think I'm any worse than those from the 70s, 60s, or 50s. I've been learning since I got pregnant. Of course, some elders are dismissive, constantly giving unsolicited advice on how things should be done because "we raised and educated our children this way!" I hear such statements often and find them annoying.
Must raising children necessarily mean washing diapers, chopping wood, and cooking? Can't I earn money to buy a washing machine? Isn't it acceptable to earn money and hire a nanny to do housework instead of becoming a yellow-faced housewife? Why should I let my mother-in-law wash diapers and take care of the baby? She's unhappy if I don't let her do these things!
Finally convincing her that each generation has its own blessings! I handle my own affairs, occasionally asking for help is fine! Depressing!!! And my responsibility is to earn money!! Nurture Nannan well!! Control the general direction of the family! Of course, I won't let grandpa, grandma, or the nanny take care of Nannan. At least I want her to know what independence is, what right and wrong are, and not be outdated!!!
Case Studies
No Room for Error, Insisting on Personally Raising the Daughter
Mom: Xiao Fan
Age: 26
Baby: Zai Zai (female)
Age: Over 4 months
Heartfelt Words for Mom: Surprise, anticipation, pain, hardship, satisfaction, from pregnancy to the baby gradually growing up, my mother has sacrificed too much for me, which cannot be measured by any material means. At this moment, I really want to say: "I love you, Mom!"
Before Zai Zai was born, Xiao Fan would earnestly read parenting manuals, full of anticipation. But during labor, running to the bathroom repeatedly, screaming in pain during delivery, she wished to throw the "little devil" out the window after it was born.
Due to negligence, on the fourth day after Zai Zai's birth, her skin turned very yellow. On the fifth day, just preparing to be discharged, the report showed total bilirubin levels reaching over 300 (over 200 is dangerous for babies), indicating jaundice. Watching the baby with needles in her head, bound with cloth strips, and in a small box receiving "blue light" therapy (a treatment for newborn jaundice), Xiao Fan felt immense heartache, experiencing for the first time the weight of a mother's responsibilities after labor pains. She scolded herself: "I read about jaundice during pregnancy, but after giving birth, I was weak and didn't pay attention."
After recovering physically, her mother wanted to take care of Zai Zai for Xiao Fan, but Xiao Fan insisted on doing it herself - changing diapers, feeding milk, comforting Zai Zai... She could no longer tolerate any neglect. Watching Zai Zai grow day by day, grabbing toys and shaking them vigorously, opening her arms for hugs, Xiao Fan fully enjoyed the joys of motherhood, "Originally, Zai Zai was a little angel sent by heaven to me!"
Regarding Zai Zai's education, Xiao Fan said, "From a young age, establish an equal position, not absolute parental authority." Her parents always liked comparisons, such as "Look how well others play the piano, how well others write calligraphy," which she feels puts a lot of pressure on children. "As long as Zai Zai grows up healthy, happy, and confident, that's enough. Constant criticism is not beneficial for children."
Fashionable Mom Greedy for Playtime, Dressing Up Her Baby
Mom: Xiao Fang
Age: 24
Baby: Zi Zi
Age: 1 year
Heartfelt Words for Mom: My mother loved beauty when she was young, but for me, she gave up her personal life. Now that she's finally relaxing, she has to help me take care of Zi Zi. This is how great mothers are - they can give up everything for their children. "Mom, you've worked hard. On Mother's Day, I want to dress you up as a fashionable mom, retrieving the beauty lost for her daughter."
Xiao Fang works in follow-up at a foreign trade company, earns well, and dresses fashionably, making it hard to tell she's a mother of a one-year-old baby. Before getting pregnant, due to work stress, Xiao Fang would often go to bars on Gui Pan Road. For the health of her baby, Xiao Fang refrained from going to bars for a whole year. During pregnancy, though heavily pregnant, fashionable Xiao Fang chose trendy Korean maternity wear to remain stylish.
Zi Zi's arrival made Xiao Fang's living space smaller, but she still managed to find time. Bars are still visited, though less frequently, and she must return home before 11 PM to check on Zi Zi. Shopping for ancient costumes cannot be missed, but Zi Zi is never brought along because being a mom makes one feel older. However, she does spend most of her shopping time looking at baby products and clothing.
Skilled in makeup, one day Xiao Fang looked at the lively Zi Zi and impulsively decided to apply makeup to her. Upon seeing the result, "She inherited the genes of a beautiful mom," but the makeup was quickly wiped off due to concerns about Zi Zi's skin. Loving beauty, she extended this affection to Zi Zi, who naturally became Xiao Fang's object of adornment. Though babies grow fast, Xiao Fang indulged in buying many small outfits for Zi Zi. In her free time, she dressed up Zi Zi and took her to the studio to shoot a series of "Zi Zi portraits." Recently, she saw a popular Japanese homemade baby sling online and decided to try making one herself. Fashionable mom, fashionable baby.
Diligently Writing Blogs, Tired but Happy
Mom: Rose
Age: 26
Baby: Xiao Dianzi (male)
Age: 11 months plus
Heartfelt Words for Mom: Only after becoming a mother did I understand the greatness of mothers, but I believe there will be rewards after the hardships. In the future, I will also know how to treat my mother and my husband's mother.
The father is Big Dianzi, so naturally the baby is Little Dianzi. After Rose became Mom to Little Dianzi, her biggest realization was the greatness of parenthood, now putting the child at the center of everything.
In raising the child, Rose has her own ideas, gained from studying books. If her opinions differ from her mother-in-law's or husband's, she sticks to her guns, such as determining the temperature of the milk for the baby. Her mother-in-law relies on experience, but Rose insists on using a thermometer. The persistence of the mother pays off, as now when Little Dianzi needs a diaper change, Big Dianzi only helps by holding the wriggling baby's hands while Rose handles the legs and changes the diaper. Having her own opinions, Rose appears more tired than other post-80s mothers, needing to do many things personally. While tired, Rose also feels happy, evident from the growth blog she writes for Little Dianzi.
In the blog, Rose records Little Dianzi's growth every few days and uploads photos, "At two months old today, Little Dianzi has started sucking his fingers!" "Little Dianzi is five months old! He can continuously babble on his own! So funny! So adorable!" Simple words reveal Rose's love for Little Dianzi.
As a fashionable woman of the post-80s generation, Little Dianzi has "taken away" much of Rose's time for pursuing fashion. Helping the baby take photos leaves no time for her own, unacceptable, so she dresses up beautifully and takes photos together. Unlike many mothers who don't have photos with their babies, Rose has many close-up shots with Little Dianzi.
Capricious Daughter Grows Up After Becoming a Mom
Mom: Chiyanna
Age: 28
Baby: Nannan
Age: 15 months
Heartfelt Words for Mom: Only after becoming a mother did I understand the greatness of mothers. Please forgive my previous capriciousness. I will certainly take good care of you! Wishing all mothers a happy Mother's Day!
Chiyanna, who has been a mother for over a year, feels most strongly that she "must take good care of her mother."
As an only child, Chiyanna was pampered from a young age, not appreciating many things her parents did for her, "I used to be very capricious, always finding my mom annoying." Because her parents haven't retired yet, Chiyanna, working in Shunde, has to take care of Nannan herself.
Suddenly becoming a mom responsible for taking care of someone else, Chiyanna wasn't fully aware of her responsibilities when Nannan began to "exert pressure" on her: changing diapers, feeding milk, bathing, soothing to sleep. Listening carefully at night for any sounds, taking her to the hospital when sick, etc. Chiyanna wasn't mentally prepared for these, "I really couldn't handle it." Calling her mother, her mother immediately took leave and rushed to Shunde, helping and teaching Chiyanna. Gradually, Chiyanna learned and got used to taking care of Nannan, frequently going online to read other mothers' parenting diaries, seeking help by posting online when situations arose. Of course, calling her mother to report the situation and seek advice was indispensable.
Nannan grows day by day. Recently, when Nannan suddenly called "mommy," Chiyanna couldn't help but cry, not from exhaustion, but from watching Nannan grow, understanding the connection of flesh and blood, the meaning of life, and the hardships endured by her mother, crying for her own capriciousness and moved by her mother's great sacrifices. "Nannan looked at me with wide eyes, tightly hugging me, as if understanding why I cried. That moment was filled with joy, emotion, and regret intertwined."
Character Development Starts from Infancy
Mom: Little Pig
Age: 27
Baby: Bei Bei (female)
Age: 13 months
Heartfelt Words for Mom: Please forgive my "cruelty," not picking up your granddaughter when she falls. I fully understand your love for me, but my daughter has her own insights and different educational methods. Please trust that your daughter can take good care of and educate Bei Bei well. Wishing all mothers a happy Mother's Day and eternal youth!
Both Little Pig and her husband are only children, and after Bei Bei was born, six adults took care of her. Although still unsteady on her feet and falling often, Bei Bei always gets up by herself, looks at her mom, and wobbles forward, demonstrating confidence and resilience uncommon in babies of her age. "Seeing many babies fall and cry on the ground, parents rush to pick them up and comfort them. Originally unwilling to cry, they eventually get used to crying when they fall. The parents initially doted on their granddaughter (or grandson)." With a science background and good education, Little Pig has her own views. Character development starts from infancy.
Of course, when Bei Bei falls, Little Pig still feels quite sorry. She quickly picks her up and checks her after Bei Bei wobbles over to her, praising her if everything's okay, "The little one is smart; after being praised, she shakes her arms proudly."
Despite usually eating carelessly, Little Pig quickly learned to take care of Bei Bei. "Now Bei Bei likes me the most, giving me a sense of accomplishment." After Bei Bei sleeps, Little Pig browses shopping websites for her clothes. If suitable, she buys some appropriately, "They're quite expensive in stores. But online purchases aren't very reassuring, always worrying about poor material quality. So I buy less online, mostly from stores, even if more expensive, who can resist this little cutie?" Previously spending an average of 1000 yuan a month on clothes, Little Pig, after becoming a mother, spends most of that amount dressing up Bei Bei.