Today, I had a small reunion with a few high school classmates. We spent the day happily together, engaging in various joyful activities and experiencing numerous surprises. I've always disliked moments of departure, so now, as I feel a slight sense of loss, I write this blog post with a light-hearted and happy mood. The New Year of the Rabbit is approaching, and after a series of delightful events, I have cleared my long-lasting murky feelings. In this year of destiny, I should carefully consider some matters. Therefore, I may not be as readily available as before, and I might also go out alone from time to time. However, what I want to say is that even if we rarely contact each other in the future, even if we don't remain as close as we are now, or even if we never meet again, who knows about the future? At least for now, I have all of you, which is undoubtedly a special bond, and I will cherish it.
Last weekend, I went skiing at the Luan1 Funiu Mountain Ski Resort with a few junior high school classmates. Due to a miscommunication with the class monitor and the long planning of this self-driving trip, I missed the chance to meet up with my university friends, which was quite regrettable. But there's always tomorrow. On the night before our self-driving trip, I had a terrifying dream. In the dream, I searched for a job for a long time but returned empty-handed. Combined with a week of aimless living, it directly resulted in me waking up feeling extremely disheartened, which wasn't how I should feel before a trip.
MSN space has been fully relocated to Sina Blog! From 1:30 PM to 4:30 PM, the three-hour skiing process can be summed up in one word: falling. Wang Wanniu, as an experienced skier, irresponsibly went straight to the advanced slope alone, leaving us to fall in various ways. The most classic moment was Yang's front and back somersaults, which only I witnessed. Honestly, at the time, I was startled because no matter how others fell, none were like her, making full contact in every direction, and scattering the ski equipment everywhere; 7 and Xiao Haozi reportedly collided while falling and got slightly injured; Wei was bold, attempting the advanced slope on his first try. His insight was good, guiding me a lot, but by the time I got the hang of it, I was too exhausted to continue skiing. Several times due to the lift issues, Wei, Yang, and I took off our ski gear and walked uphill, which I felt was the main cause of our exhaustion. Despite the fatigue, we found joy in it. After half a year with almost no social activities, I experienced the charm of mutual assistance and encouragement among friends during those moments, which was truly beautiful, though my vocabulary is limited.
I keep saying I'm too emotional lately. A simple outing made me think so much, perhaps because I've been suppressing myself for too long. This trip reminded me of last year's friends who were always by my side, helping me overcome the effects of various events that caused me to lose my mental balance. A brief phone call, a simple text message, or even silently drinking with me without complaints, satisfying my various unreasonable requests. Whether they're from junior high, high school, or university, even elementary school classmates I haven't contacted for a long time, they make me feel relaxed. Thinking of all of you, along with my parents who have silently supported and tolerated my impatience behind the scenes, brings me comfort.
On the way there, I shared a car with Mengnao (No Brain) and Bugaoxing (Not Happy). These two lively girls immediately cheered me up from my gloomy mood once we got in the car. Of course, I didn't realize it while driving since it was my first long-distance self-drive, and I was a bit nervous. Along the way, they chatted endlessly about various relationship issues—past, present, and future. Listening to their experiences, as a bystander with zero experience, gave me a sense of schadenfreude, a feeling that brought me a long-lost sense of ease and authenticity. Plus, I borrowed two walkie-talkies, occasionally contacting the leading group with Wanniu, leaving my heavy heart in the city as the car moved forward.
After arriving in Luan1 County town, we randomly found a noodle shop. My aging stomach could only handle half a bowl, but that couldn't dampen my increasingly ecstatic mood. I kept acting silly, dismissing any disappointment or unhappiness. I came out to relax and vent, but sorry to those I joked around with if you felt any discomfort during these two days. The subsequent mountain road wasn't as scary as imagined, and the accommodation at the ski resort was much better than expected, indicating a promising start.
That half bowl of noodles seemed extraordinarily effective. Despite all the afternoon’s exertions, my stomach showed no reaction, and dinner consisted of a bottle of cola and some barely eaten instant noodles. Then came nine hours of 'San Guo Sha' (a card game) in the hotel room with six of us. Wanniu's silence, Wei's eagerness, my confusion, Xiaohaozi's careful guidance to Yang, and 7's nonchalance—all these elements blended naturally and beautifully, accompanied by "Happy Family," Australian TV shows, and Korean dramas. As time passed, some couldn't hold out anymore, especially since it was already nearly 3 AM. But I kept insisting on one more round because I knew that once we dispersed, it would signify the end of a happy day, just like those nights over the past half-year. I always deludedly persisted, unwilling to let go of those precious moments, even though I woke up early the next day. After 3 AM, when everyone left, Xiaohaozi and I, both sleepless, watched half a Barcelona match and a few Zhao Benshan skits. Just like those two nights in Zhengzhou's small inn, we watched TV, casually discussing its content, killing time, relaxing, and cultivating sleepiness.
On the return trip, Wei and Xiaohaozi shared a car with me. All three of us are Scorpios. If Xiaohaozi represents Scorpio's endurance, then Wei and I seem to exemplify Scorpio's sultry charm. Along the way, we joked about everything—from Mengnao and Bugaoxing, to Yi Jianlian and the tall person seen at the hotel, to various village names and vehicles we passed. We always found something funny. With all the jokes stored in our minds, even the tension of continuous bends while descending the mountain was alleviated by imagining Fujiwara Tōru's drift turns and the slowing down of time. But everything must come to an end, and we finally parted ways at Wangcheng Avenue. Wei said receiving people is joyful, but sending them off is lonely. And thus, I slowly returned home alone, savoring the happiness.
It's been a long time since I wrote anything. A fellow student on the campus website put it well: the tragedy of being illiterate is having a lot to say but unable to express it. Exams seem to be an inevitable topic, but I really have nothing to say, or rather, I don't want to talk about it because it's only disappointment and despair. Although I've just finished the exam, I can already vaguely see the unfortunate outcome. I admit I didn't do enough, and there were many distractions, but the result shouldn't be like this—it should be much better. Many people have told me about repeating a year, the pressure, the loneliness, but I didn't care at the time. Only after truly experiencing it did I understand everything, tasting the bitterness and sweetness. Let's not talk about this now; I'll discuss this year, precisely this half-year life, when I have the mood.
Back home, I recounted my first self-driving experience to my family. My dad simply said, "As long as you're happy, that's fine." Alas, the biggest realization of the past half-year is how emotional I've become, easily angered yet easily sentimental. Some classmates say they sometimes fear me because I'm always yelling at them. After returning home, I became particularly sentimental, even moved to tears watching the news. That night, recalling the details of those two days, I may not have considered your feelings much due to my high spirits, and I didn't say any goodbye words. Please forgive all of me, thank you very much because those two days were incredibly fun, truly enjoyable. That night, I slept soundly without dreams.
It sounds a bit sentimental, but that's how I feel right now. Please forgive me. Nevertheless, rest assured, when you see me, I'll still be the same sulky and quirky little Jiezzi, always cheerful, optimistic, and positive.