Why the hell should I give birth to your child?
First of all, I need to clarify that what I'm about to say is not my personal experience. It's a post I copied from the internet. This is not aimed at all men, but rather to make women understand this kind of men better! These days, I've been deeply moved by these events. I really want my sisters around me to know that men shouldn't be chosen blindly. Maybe in the future, these things will happen to us too. I have been interning in the obstetrics department for nearly three weeks. Below are some extreme cases I encountered. They are all true.
Let's start with the ones in the maternity ward. The patients in the maternity ward include those who are preserving their pregnancy, waiting to give birth, and postpartum. In short, each one is a dangerous patient. Out of 70 or so patients, more than ten are critically ill.
The first case: This patient was very strange. She had been hospitalized for at least three weeks. I knew she was in the hospital since I started my internship. I originally thought she was waiting to give birth. A few days ago, I took a quick look at her medical record and was shocked. It turned out she was a severe case of preserving her pregnancy. What left me speechless was her pregnancy history: one abortion each year from 2002 to 2005, and then again in 2007, 2008, and 2009. One time, she miscarried just because she coughed too hard. So this time, she got hospitalized early to preserve the pregnancy. To have this child, she could only stay in bed every day. You all understand, right? Too many abortions lead to habitual miscarriages.
PS: Her husband is really annoying. If you don't take responsibility, why should the woman suffer like this?
The second case: One day, I was escorting a patient to the operating room for a cesarean section. The ward was on the 4th floor, D area, and we had to push the patient down to the 2nd floor, go through a long turning corridor to Area A of the hospital, and then up to the 13th floor operating room. Pushing the patient to the operating room was a long process. Of course, a bunch of family members followed along. After I delivered the patient to the entrance of the operating room, her husband asked me how long the surgery would take. I said about an hour. He then asked where they could see the child. I said to wait back in the ward. He said, "Then we'll go back with you." I asked if there was anything else he wanted to tell the patient. He looked at the old lady next to him (probably his mother) and said, "Nothing else, right? We'll go back to the ward and wait for the child." I couldn't help myself and said, "Don't you even ask where you'll meet your wife after the surgery?"
PS: In these past few days, I've seen too many people like this, enough to summarize a pattern. Those who chase me asking where to see the child are usually the husband's family. Those who chase me asking where to meet the patient are usually the wife's family. Don't think I'm being biased; it's really like this. Men who are about to become fathers, you're happy, but don't forget your wives. Are you going to comfort them before the surgery? Are you going to say something like 'don't be afraid'? Asking only about the child and not the mother is heartless. If I were your wife, I'd be heartbroken.
The third case: Also while sending a surgical patient to the operating room, there were many family members following, but among them was only one man. He was the patient's husband. The ones pushing the bed were older women, probably aunts or something similar. They said, "Nurse, you can just guide us, we'll push the bed." I said, "No need to rush, go slowly, safety first." The patient's husband kept fiddling with his phone and asked, "How long will the surgery take?" I said about an hour. "You can send the patient to the operating room, then come back to the ward with me pushing the empty bed." But the man kept fiddling with his phone and impatiently said, "That long? The signal here isn't good. Push the bed faster, I want to leave as soon as possible, I have other things to do." I said no, push slowly, safety first. Later, when we sent the patient to the operating room, I led these family members back to the ward. On the way, the patient's husband was called by the anesthesiologist to sign some papers. As soon as he left, the female family members started talking. "Our young master doesn't know anything. His wife has been hospitalized for four days, today's the day of the surgery, and he just came to check now. What does he have to do? Why is he in such a hurry to leave? All he cares about is that the hospital's signal is bad, he can't play games on his phone, and it's delaying his farming game!"
PS: I was completely stunned! Such an ignorant man can be a father?
And then there's the delivery room:
On my first night shift, around 2 AM, there was a difficult delivery. My teacher estimated that the baby would weigh at least 4kg. She didn't recommend natural birth, but the patient's family insisted it was better for the baby. That patient suffered greatly. I won't go into detail, but you can imagine, right? The second stage of labor had already exceeded two hours, and the baby's head still wasn't out. The patient was severely exhausted. The teacher couldn't feel the baby's ears and dared not perform an episiotomy. Both my teacher and I were very anxious. Those studying medicine should know that if the second stage of labor exceeds two hours, forceps should be used. Eventually, the teacher performed an episiotomy. Finally, a male infant weighing 4.1kg was delivered naturally, but the baby was severely asphyxiated. I used oxygen and a resuscitation bag, and the teacher gave the baby a thorough spanking on its back and feet, but the baby still couldn't cry. At the time, the teacher said, "Baby, please cry, if you don't cry, we will." There was no pediatric ward in the hospital, so the delivery room doctor quickly contacted emergency services and sent the baby to the Second Affiliated Hospital overnight. I hurriedly went to find the patient's family. There were only two family members, the patient's husband and mother-in-law. As soon as they heard the baby needed to be transferred to another hospital, they immediately followed. I said, "At least leave one family member behind. There might be situations in the delivery room." The patient's husband impatiently said, "What else could happen?" and then left. As a result, the exhausted patient was left lying alone in the delivery room. She told me, "Nurse, I'm thirsty. Can you help me get my cup from my family? I'm really thirsty." I said, "The delivery room is too busy, I can't leave now." I couldn't bear to tell her, "Your family all went to see the child! Who cares about you? Where am I supposed to find your family?" Of course, I couldn't let her be thirsty. When the teacher wasn't paying attention, I poured her a glass of water using the oxygen bottle. Normally, the patient should only observe in the delivery room for two hours, but she lay alone in the delivery room for almost five hours before her family returned to take her back to the ward.
PS: Marrying such a man and having such a mother-in-law is her misfortune. If I were to choose a husband, I'd definitely be more careful.
There's also another case I encountered yesterday. It was a difficult delivery, even more serious, requiring forceps. By the time it was over, I was covered in blood. It took a lot of effort to move the patient from the delivery bed to the stretcher. My hands were covered in blood. How much blood was there? When I pushed the stretcher to transport the patient, the blood on my hands stuck to the stretcher. The doctor and I, both thin, struggled to push the patient out of the delivery room. Meanwhile, the patient's husband was holding a DV camera, filming and muttering, "Dear, you finally came out." Many family members around (all elderly women) saw the doctor and me covered in blood and rushed to push the stretcher. The doctor and I looked at the patient's husband, happily filming with the DV camera, and were speechless. With great difficulty, we pushed the patient to the ward and had to move the patient from the stretcher to the bed. Normally, the patient would sit up, kick the bed with their feet, and support themselves with their hands to move over. Unfortunately, this patient was too weak to sit up. At this point, two elderly women said, "We'll carry her over." But these two elderly women had no strength either. After struggling, blood flowed all over the bed, and they still couldn't lift her up. Looking at the patient's husband, he smiled, showed joy, held the DV camera, and continued filming. While filming, he muttered, "Dear, you're really capable~" My teacher couldn't bear it anymore. "That gentleman! Come help! You're doing physical work, stop filming!" Only then did the patient's husband reluctantly put down the DV camera and carry the patient onto the bed.
PS: I was almost cursing out loud. Film your grandpa! Besides saying a few nice words, what else do you actually do?
Below are replies from others:
1. I had a cesarean section. When I came out, there wasn't a single family member outside. Their family came with 5-6 people, including the father-in-law, mother-in-law, older brother, sister-in-law, and younger brother. My husband was holding the baby getting injections, and all the family members went to see the child. No one waited for me. Originally, the family was supposed to send me back to the ward, but the doctor had no choice and sent me back. Along the way, those people were all talking about my family, saying that once they had a child, they forgot about their mother. I felt so heartbroken.
2. I'm about to give birth too, my due date is August 13. I'm a little scared. Ten months of pregnancy, women really aren't easy! Only by being pregnant and giving birth can one truly understand the taste of it. Men should sympathize more with women. A friend of my husband's said in front of me when I was about five months pregnant that if his wife had a difficult delivery, he would save the child, not the adult. I wanted to hit him with a brick. Luckily, his wife wasn't present at the time, or she would have been very sad.
3. Some are truly heartbreaking! I gave birth naturally, staying in the labor room for over five hours before entering the delivery room. Honestly, those five hours were pure torture! Fortunately, I gave birth half an hour after entering the delivery room. During the time in the labor room, my husband and mother-in-law were with me all the way until I gave birth. The child's cries were heard outside, and only then did my husband rest, without even looking at the child - saying he was too tired and had to work the next day! It was already 1 o'clock in the morning. However, this bastard was calmly reading a newspaper while I was in the most pain, and both my mother-in-law and I scolded him! I was in pain, and my mother-in-law was anxious. Men truly don't know what they're thinking! Scolding him, he said he was anxious too, but didn't know what to do, saying there was nothing on the newspaper, just an advertisement for a plastic surgery hospital. Damn!
4. I had a cesarean section. My mother, husband, and mother-in-law were waiting outside while I was being stitched up in the operating room. When I came out, I saw my mother, mother-in-law, and husband's eyes were all red. My husband kissed me in front of all the family members and doctors, saying, "Wife, you've worked hard." I was embarrassed. Later, according to my mother, my mother-in-law and husband cried because it was a boy. Plus, my father-in-law passed away two years ago, possibly feeling that he didn't get to see his grandson before he died. In any case, they all cried. My own mother cried because I had undergone surgery and felt sorry for me.
5. When I gave birth, the baby's head was too big, and I screamed hoarsely in pain. My mother stood outside the delivery room wiping tears, while my mother-in-law lay on my bed with her legs crossed chatting and eating fruit. From that moment on, I decided never to treat my mother-in-law like a mother.
6. I had a cesarean section. After starving for a whole day, I finally managed to bring the child out. My husband wasn't happy at all because it was a girl. Neither my father-in-law nor mother-in-law came. During the month after childbirth, my in-laws suggested that my husband divorce me. Thanks to my family's financial and manpower support, we managed to raise the child until she was two years old. Perhaps realizing how easily children grow up, now my husband wants me to have another child. Who will take care of me when I'm pregnant? My mother broke her leg taking care of my daughter and had to take care of us with a cast. My in-laws never came. Now my daughter is only two years old, and they want another child, assuming that once the child is born, it will instantly grow up and live on air. Nowadays, men are heartless bastards. I will definitely give my daughter a good future, and I absolutely will not tolerate such men.
7. When I gave birth, I saw spots around 6 AM. I went to the hospital for a check-up that day and arranged admission procedures. The pain started late at night, and I endured it all morning before entering the delivery room in the afternoon. My mother, aunt, mother-in-law, and my husband's cousin and sister were all there. The cousin and sister even entered the delivery room. My husband was still working elsewhere. By the time the child was born, and his sister called him, he was still working. Upon receiving the call, he thought his sister was tricking him, saying, "How could the child be born so fast?" When he returned and saw the child, he was extremely excited and hugged the child, barely acknowledging me. Later, when it was just the three of us in the ward, he finally said something heartfelt: "Wife, you've worked hard and suffered." All my grievances were finally released.
8. Mainly about the case next to me. The woman couldn't have local anesthesia, so she had general anesthesia, which also affected the baby. The baby was born and didn't cry for ten minutes. It was immediately transferred to the pediatric intensive care unit. As a result, the entire family of the husband went to see the child, including the husband, mother-in-law, and relatives, leaving only her mother and sister waiting outside for her. There was heavy bleeding, and when she was pushed back to the ward, her mother and sister couldn't manage to lift her onto the bed, making her sister extremely angry (the woman was still unconscious).
9. It's really hard to find a good man nowadays. Mine isn't any better. I don't remember how I got from the operating room to the bed, but I clearly remember last month when I had an abortion. He didn't say a single word of concern and even made comments that could drive me crazy, making me feel like it was no big deal. Once home, he asked me to do this and that. I endured everything silently. He even said his clothes were cotton and needed to be hand-washed. I couldn't take it anymore and had a big fight with him. Men are truly disheartening. If it weren't for our child, I would have divorced him. He thinks he's something special.
10. I remember one day in the hospital, 11 babies were born, 10 of whom were girls. One woman was sent in by her entire family. When the doctor brought out the baby and announced it was a girl, her father-in-law and mother-in-law turned around and went home without even looking. Her husband was also angry. How tragic!
11. It's truly heartbreaking. My girlfriend took a taxi to the hospital for an abortion herself, round trip, and her mother helped her take care of the child. That night, when they got home, her husband said, "Let's go out and play, maybe to a bar." She said, "I don't want to go, I just had an abortion." As a result, her husband went out alone and didn't come home for three days. Allegedly, from that day on, he started keeping a mistress. My girlfriend was furious and had a big fight with him.
12. Sigh, I also had a cesarean section, and it was done at night. Only my husband was there. After the surgery, there was no one to lift me. We had to temporarily find someone to help. My in-laws found out I had a girl, and during the days I stayed in the hospital, they didn't even visit once. When I went home, I was in pain and suffering, and my mother-in-law said others weren't as bad off as me. I had to handle everything myself. My hometown is far away. For many years, I've thought my in-laws are too dirty. Even now, it makes me feel cold-hearted.
13. I haven't seen the specific process of a cesarean section yet. I've only seen many patients who have just had cesarean sections in the ward. They must lie in bed for at least six hours before they can turn over, and it's very uncomfortable. Although there's a pain pump, the patients still cry out in pain. And the process of natural birth. I really don't want to describe the specific process. How painful can it be to make adults cry until they have no energy left? I've heard countless patients say, "I'm dying," "I'll never have another child," "I can't survive," "Let me have a cesarean," "Give me 10 million and I'll never have another child," "If I had the strength, I'd run to the operating room for a cesarean now," etc., etc.
PS: These patients' husbands once treated them like precious treasures during their courtship. As parents, they should all be joyful. However, the instinctive and genuine reactions of their children's fathers during moments of joy reveal something deeper. As an outsider, I can hardly bear to watch. Men like this really don't deserve the suffering women endure for them. Sisters, open your eyes wide! Choosing a husband is a major life decision, and you must not make a mistake.
14. In 2008, I gave birth, and my husband was always out of town, even turning off his phone. I couldn't reach him, and my poor mother took me to the hospital in the middle of the night. The next day, long after the child was born, my husband finally showed up, casually asking if I was okay. He didn't touch me or the child.
15. Suddenly, I remembered a post I saw on a mom's website a while ago. That mother's child was already a few years old, and she and her husband loved each other dearly. They also got along well with her in-laws. One day, her younger brother came to borrow money from her husband. Her husband refused, and so did she. Her brother got angry, cursed at her, and told her a shocking piece of news. When she was having a difficult delivery and the doctor came out to ask the family whether to save the mother or the child, her husband followed his parents' advice and told the doctor to save the child! This matter had been hidden by both families. The male side was obviously embarrassed, and the female side thought it was best to let it go, telling their daughter not to think too much about it. These days, I've been deeply moved by these events. I really want the sisters around me to know that men should not be chosen blindly. Perhaps in the future, these things will happen to us too. Damn it, if men can give birth themselves, they should. Women choosing husbands should open their eyes wide. Reading this post, I only feel pity for the women who end up with such men. Love is truly a terrifying thing. Everything stems from love, honor, sin, all pivoting on emotion. Suddenly, I feel like I've seen through everything, an unprecedented calmness. Behind the splendor, amidst the noise, only the heart sings the great compassionate mantra and the elegant Avalokitesvara inspiration song.
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