Having lived to be 95, Grandma Chen was determined to starve herself to death.
In Yuanban Village of Zimao Town in Jinjiang, her family had been trying to persuade her for a whole 8 days, but they could only helplessly watch as the elderly woman became increasingly emaciated. Every day, they could only feed her with rice soup and glucose water. The doctor said that if this continued, the elderly woman probably wouldn't last a month.
Nearly a century of storms and hardships had not broken Grandma Chen, so why did she want to give up at a time when she should have been enjoying her twilight years?
Abandoned? Suicide? A nonagenarian grandmother stops eating.
"How can there be such grandchildren?" Someone from Yuanban Village in Zimao, Jinjiang called the Haichuan Hotline 968111 saying that two people were not letting their 90-year-old grandmother eat, wanting to starve her to death, one less burden. After hearing the news, the reporter rushed over. However, in the village, the neighbors said: "It's the old lady who refuses to eat; the grandchildren are very filial."
Grandma Chen, 95, lay in a hall of an ancestral home in Yuanban Village, on her deathbed. Her second granddaughter-in-law, Ms. Lin, had red eyes, saying, "If this kind of news gets out, how will we face others?" She cried and said that her father-in-law Mr. Cai had committed suicide three months ago due to severe depression caused by a serious illness. "Father-in-law was the only son of grandma, and we feared that grandma would fall ill upon hearing the news, so we didn't dare to reveal even a hint until half a month ago. Then, we told grandma that father-in-law had passed away due to his severe illness. After that, grandma seemed like a different person, eating less, then stopping altogether, remaining silent every day."
Not long after, Grandma Chen showed signs of being on her deathbed, and they settled her into the ancestral home according to Minnan customs. Many relatives tried hard to persuade her, but Grandma Chen remained determined to starve herself. Helplessly, the family members alternated between watching over her and feeding her with rice soup and glucose water.
The neighbors said that when Mr. Cai was alive, he would give his mother 400 yuan from his retirement pension every month. When Grandma Chen could still move around, she once mentioned to her neighbors that if her son passed away first, she wouldn't live long either.
The elderly woman sighed, feeling too upset to eat
With the family's consent, the reporter visited Grandma Chen in the hall of the ancestral home. She lay on a temporary bed, her eyes closed. The bed leaned against the wall, and she was covered with thick blankets, her face pale, emaciated, her cheeks sunken. Ms. Lin walked to the window, bent down, and put her mouth close to Grandma Chen's ear, crying and saying: "Grandma (in Minnan dialect, meaning grandmother), some people say we are unfilial and don't let you eat. Quickly explain it to them."
Grandma Chen opened her eyes, her lips slightly parted. For the first 20 seconds or so, she just raised her left hand, which was thin as skin and bones, and waved towards the reporter. Subsequently, she raised her hand and patted her chest, slowly saying in Minnan dialect: "I'm too upset to eat." Hearing this, Ms. Lin, feeling extremely wronged, burst into tears.
Regarding Grandma Chen's actions, the elders of the Cai family also felt helpless. Due to prolonged lack of food intake, she now could only drink soup through a straw to barely sustain her life. No matter how much the relatives persuaded her, she insisted on starving herself.
According to the family, Grandma Chen hadn't eaten for at least 8 days. An internal medicine doctor from Jinjiang City Hospital explained that since the metabolism of the elderly is slower, and without movement after lying in bed, metabolism slows down even more. At this point, drinking some rice soup and glucose water can maintain basic vital signs, but if this continues, the elderly woman's lifespan would likely not exceed 1 month.
Mental illness is hard to cure, experts suggest more listening
Living to be 95, having experienced nearly a century of ups and downs, hardship had not broken the elderly woman, but the news of her son's death made her firmly choose death. After the interview, the image of Grandma Chen lifting her skin-and-bones arm to pat her chest lingered in the reporter's mind.
"During her later years, Grandma Chen was accompanied by her son, who was her companion. With her son's death, it was as if cutting off her connection to the world, making her feel desperate," said Wang Yongmei, a national psychological consultant from Quanzhou Blue Sea Wave Studio. Grandma Chen's grandchildren could provide for her material needs, but they might not be able to replace the void in her heart. Especially in rural areas, many elderly people lack communication with the outside world, and family members are often their sole emotional support. She suggested that even if young people are busy, and even if the elderly speak repetitively and boringly, they should patiently listen and take time to hear them out. Elderly people should also participate more in community activities, continuously learn, enrich themselves, and find topics that they can discuss with younger generations, rather than always expecting the young to accommodate them.