Before, I thought he was pretty good...... No wonder he didn't eat with us...... I hope he doesn't go in the future......
Isn't everyone flawed?" and so on. Every time this topic came up, YY would turn her head away and not interject. When asked, she would just smile and say, "I don't know!" to brush it off. Everyone could see that YY didn't want to say much, so no one dared to ask about the intense conversation between them that day.
Ten: To see or not to see, that is the question!
Upon hearing this "invitation," YY and I exchanged glances, our minds racing. I guessed YY was thinking the same as me: we want to see! What kind of mother could raise such a son? We don't want to see! What if he thinks YY agrees after seeing his mom? That would be awkward. How can you agree to see someone's mom without permission?
Before we could finish our internal struggle, the rare animal spoke again: "You're not allowed to wear a short skirt when you go; my mom says only prostitutes wear that kind of thing. Your hair must be black (YY's hair was dyed wine red); my mom says women who dye their hair are all trying to seduce men. Cut your nails (YY liked to keep her nails long; her pinky and ring finger nails were 3 cm long); my mom says only women who don't do housework grow their nails (YY occasionally cooked. But in summer and for intimate clothing, she handwashed them and couldn't wear gloves. I don't know how those nails never broke)...” Before he finished, YY lost her temper:
"Did I even say I'd go? You're so relentless! Sister isn't going! Stop talking nonsense." The rare animal looked shocked: "If my mom invites you, how can you not go? My mom wants to meet you!" YY looked impatient: "Is your mom Empress Dowager Cixi? Why must I see her? What does it have to do with me if your mom wants to see me? She didn't come at my invitation! Are you done speaking? If you're done, stay away. You're annoying, don't you know?" After saying this, she pushed the rare animal and was about to leave. The rare animal grabbed YY and said, "My mom finally accepted you. Do you know how much effort I put in? My mom hates girls who aren't proper, do you know how much sacrifice she made to accept you? It's all for me! How can you not see her? My mom finally agreed to see you, how can you not see her? How can you not see her? How can you not...” I was overwhelmed by what I heard! It felt like the character Tang僧 from "Journey to the West" was based on him! YY got angry too: "Let go! If you don't let go, don't blame me for being rude!" I regretted it so much!! Next time I leave the house, I'll hang an electric baton around my neck! Seeing that the rare animal wouldn't let go, YY raised her hand to hit him. I saw this and thought, no way!! I didn't bring the electric baton, what if we get into trouble? I quickly pulled on YY's other hand and whispered, "We don't have the electric baton! He's a man! If he retaliates in the company, you won't look good!" YY thought about it and said, "I'll consider it. Let go first! It's time to go to work." The rare animal thought about it, then slowly and reluctantly let go. YY and I quickly ran into the office.
In the afternoon, we fiercely discussed this issue online: to see or not to see? YY said: can't see! I smiled at him once, and he thought I fell in love with him. If I really met his mom, he would probably move in with me tomorrow! I said: yes, I also think we shouldn't see. But if you don't see him, will he ever stop? Will you zap him with an electric baton every time he asks? YY said: the mom who could raise such a son, who knows what she's like! Judging by his words, she definitely looks down on me. If I go see her, isn't that asking for trouble? When I heard this, a light bulb went off in my head: YY, tell me, does he listen to you or **? YY replied: are you crazy, asking this? Even a fool can see that if his mom says poop is delicious, he'd bite two pieces! I said: this is serious! YY realized too: right! If his mom absolutely doesn't like me, he will definitely listen to **! Then there's nothing to worry about, right?!
Therefore, YY and I decided, we'll see! It's not easy to make someone like you, but it's hard to annoy someone, right? But before seeing her, YY told the rare animal: "I'm seeing her not because I agree to be with you, but because you've annoyed me out of options (after that incident, whenever the rare animal saw YY, he would say: my mom wants to see you, how can you not see her? After two days of this, YY finally decided to see her). Don't think that seeing my mom means I agree to be with you. Can you understand me?"
The rare animal finally understood: "I understand. You're seeing her because my mom wants to see you, not because you want to be with me." Dizzy!! Still treating his mom like Empress Dowager Cixi! Well, as long as he understands that I'm not agreeing to be with him, that's fine!
Thus, YY and I planned ways to make his mom absolutely refuse. YY insisted I go with her, and I said, "An old lady, what are you afraid of! Even with his son, you still have your electric baton!" YY made a dizzy face and said, "After knowing you for so many years, do you think I'm scared of them? I need you to watch over me! If that old lady irritates me, I might zap her and send her to where Tang僧 fetched scriptures, causing big trouble!" When I heard this, it was indeed a possibility! So I agreed to protect the old lady. Of course, I also prepared mentally to get struck by lightning, ready to face the rare animal's JP mom!
Eleven Preparation
Yingying agreed to see the rare animal's mom and explained: "I'm not agreeing to be with you just because I'm seeing your mom."
That day was Friday, so they set Sunday for the "visit." Back home, Yingying and I turned our wardrobes upside down, figuring out how to dress to look like a prostitute. Yingying kept muttering while flipping through clothes: "Wearing a short skirt makes you look like a prostitute? This time, I'll show them what real prostitutes wear!" I laughed when I heard this: "So you've been one before!" Yingying rolled her eyes at me: "Back in the day, I was the top girl in the brothel you opened~! How could you forget so quickly?" While moving clothes, I said, "Stop bragging, now prostitutes dress like college students, and we haven't seen any!" Yingying threw a pile of clothes beside me and said, "Even if we haven't eaten pork, we've seen pigs run! We're not competing for a job as a prostitute, just making her think we are!"
After searching for a while, we decided: a worn-out hot pants, paired with a white one-shoulder batwing sleeve crop top that hugged the hips, the back was chiffon and semi-transparent, black stockings (Yingying initially refused to wear them, but I threatened her by saying, "Her mom would think you don't look like a prostitute!" She agreed, saying her legs were too thin and scary, looking like firewood sticks after wearing them), and below were a pair of black patent leather high heels (borrowed from me. She hadn't bought high heels for two years). After dressing up, we stood in front of the mirror, looking at each other speechlessly. Yingying cautiously asked me, "Do I look like one?" I frowned and said, "Pretty normal!" Yingying's face also dropped, "I also think it's pretty normal!" I suddenly had an idea, "What about changing the stockings to red fishnet stockings?" Yingying gave me a look as if she wanted to eat me alive and said, "Then you wear a white coat and walk with me, if we encounter someone we know on the street, tell them I've been admitted to the mental hospital!" I quickly changed the subject, "Should we dye the hair a bit brighter?" Yingying said, "Enough, I just dyed it last week. I care more about the money than my hair! For seeing his mom, I'm already spending money on dying my hair!" Just as she was speaking, Yingying's phone rang.
It was her boyfriend. Yingying answered the call, took a deep breath, and reported today's situation. I heard silence from the other end for a while, then Yingying asked, "Are you mad?" The other side said something, and Yingying continued, "I told him, seeing his mom is seeing his mom, but it doesn't mean I agree to be with him, and he understood. I figured if his mom disagrees, he won't bother me anymore!" I faintly heard the other side say, "What if his mom agrees? Or what if his mom disagrees but he still bothers you?" Yingying sighed again, "Sigh~ I have no choice but to treat a dead horse as if it's alive. I promise you, if it doesn't work, I'll quit my job and change my phone number. Okay? I want to try again. Xiao Chen will go with me, rest assured." After a while, the call ended. I asked, "What happened?" Yingying said, "He agreed that I go, but his friend must accompany me outside to wait. He's worried something might happen." I said, "Isn't that great? This way, I'll feel safer too."
After a while, YY's boyfriend seemed to relax a bit, estimating that it was necessary to check out the situation on the other side. He had to go on another business trip, which would last two weeks. Before leaving, he was very concerned and said to me, "I'll be gone for half a month, please take good care of YY for me. Call me immediately if anything happens. Even if I'm not there, I have friends here who can help. When I come back, whatever you want to eat, I'll treat you, okay?" I laughed and said, "Is it really necessary? Besides, YY is my friend too, and we've known each other for over ten years! Even if you didn't say anything, I would still help take care of her. Don't worry!" Thus, YY's boyfriend left, extremely worried. Afterwards, he called every day to ask about the situation, always ending with, "Remember to charge the electric gun every day!"
Sixteen - Big Chaos
The supervisor came down and saw the chaos, immediately frowning and said, "This is a company! Speak properly, shouting is for what?!" As soon as Empress Dowager heard this, she immediately turned around and prepared to scold again. The rare animal pulled his mother's clothes and said, "Mom, this is our supervisor." Upon hearing this, Empress Dowager stopped yelling and said, "Are you the supervisor? Then you must settle this for us! You can't just let my son get beaten! Tell us what to do!" When I heard this, a scene immediately popped into my mind: elementary school, two children fought, and the parents brought the children to the teacher's office.
After quite some time, YY's boyfriend seemed to relax a bit, probably also realizing that it was necessary to check out the situation on the other side. He had to go on another business trip, which would last two weeks. Before leaving, he was very concerned and said to me, "I'll be gone for half a month, please take good care of YY for me. Call me immediately if anything happens. Even if I'm not there, I have friends here who can help. When I come back, whatever you want to eat, I'll treat you, okay?" I laughed and said, "Is it really necessary? Besides, YY is my friend too, and we've known each other for over ten years! Even if you didn't say anything, I would still help take care of her. Don't worry!" Thus, YY's boyfriend left, extremely worried. Afterwards, he called every day to ask about the situation, always ending with, "Remember to charge the electric gun every day!"
Twelve - The Buddha Arrives~! Welcome the Emperor~!
Sunday, Yingying and I woke up early (set for 10 o'clock). Both Yingying and I are relatively lazy people, feeling that the time spent on makeup would be better used for sleeping. So neither of us knew how to apply makeup well. But today was different. Today, we were learning from prostitutes! At least we should create a smoky eye look. We found tutorials online while experimenting on our own faces. Yingying cursed while applying makeup: "Why are my hands so clumsy? Others look so good, but I end up looking like a chicken!" I wasn't in a good mood either: "Hurry up! You're not entering a beauty contest! Looking like a chicken is perfect to match the dragon!" At 9:30, the two chickens finally went downstairs. We had met the friend of Yingying's boyfriend before, and when he saw us today, his mouth almost dropped to his back! Damn! Is it really necessary? Haven't you seen chickens before!
At ten, we arrived at the place the rare animal had booked. Yingying looked and said, "Oh, this old lady has quite a taste! This teahouse isn't cheap!" Although we usually joke around a lot, when it came to the real deal, we were like paper tigers. Yingying looked at me and asked, "Do I look like a prostitute?" As soon as I heard this, I knew she lacked confidence. I quickly encouraged her, "No prostitute looks as much like one as you do! Go inside quickly." We walked in one after the other, strutting like models.
In the morning, there weren't many people. As soon as I entered, I was momentarily blinded. I blinked a few times and looked toward the source of the blinding light. My first reaction was: what month is this? How did they bring out the Christmas tree? On closer inspection: it was actually a person! I am the type who always has gossip on my mind wherever I go. Such a good opportunity, how could I not take a closer look! That woman must be in her seventies or eighties. Her face was covered in powder, as if flour had been sprinkled on the ground and then someone had carved out her nose and eyes! The contrast was so extreme that it was hard to recognize that her ears were originally attached to her face. Her hair was a bright golden curl, with a red coral hairpin on each side. It was dazzling and magnificent. I estimated that what blinded me earlier was this splendor. But the old lady was fashionable, aware that peacock green was trendy. However, she probably forgot that it was a trend from several years ago. Isn't there an ancient description of a beautiful woman: willow-leaf eyebrows, cherry small mouth. The Christmas tree's mouth was related to cherries, it was the basket holding the cherries. When I saw this, my mood immediately brightened! I quickly pulled Yingying, planning to lighten her mood as well. I saw that Yingying was also looking that way, so I said, "That old lady is really beautiful~!! Stunning!! If she were my mom, I would definitely enter her in the 'Dream of Red Mansions' competition..." I didn't finish my sentence when Yingying replied, "Did she dazzle you blind? (Estimating Yingying was also dazzled) Look who's sitting next to her!!" I looked and couldn't continue my teasing... It was the rare animal! This must be our Empress Dowager!
Yingying and I strutted over in our model walk. Empress Dowager was just looking our way when she saw us approach, immediately turning her head to look at her son, while picking up chopsticks to put a small dumpling on her son's plate, affectionately saying, "Good boy, try this first, Mom will serve you porridge." Then the spoon went into the small pot of porridge, without lifting her heavily powdered eyelids even once (we were already standing by the table). After serving the porridge, she placed the bowl in front of the rare animal, picked up the spoon, blew on a mouthful of porridge, and extended it toward the rare animal's mouth, saying, "Good boy, drink some porridge, Mom has blown on it, it's not hot." The rare animal also saw us come in, neither greeted nor invited us to sit, directly drinking the porridge fed by his mom. After feeding the porridge, Empress Dowager picked another dumpling, then fed more porridge after finishing the dumpling. We stood there like fools. Yingying couldn't bear it anymore and moved a chair with a loud bang and sat down. Seeing the main character sit down, I quickly followed suit.
Empress Dowager finally lifted her eyes and looked at us, saying, "Did I tell you to sit?" Yingying didn't hesitate, "You didn't say we had to stand either!" The rare animal also spoke up, introducing us quickly, "Mom, this is Yingying. Yingying, this is my mom." I took the opportunity to quickly glance at what Empress Dowager was wearing (it was far away earlier, and the table and bowls blocked the view). As expected, it was a couple outfit with her son. A particularly white-collared professional pink blazer and matching slacks. Exactly like the attire of a 50-year-old female entrepreneur on TV. But you say, for an old lady of this age, why dress so young? And probably due to the lack of larger sizes, the clothes stretched tightly across her body. Three stripes around her belly, looking like she had four breasts. The most shocking part was: under the blazer was a shirt!! A shirt with light green flowers!! At that moment, I wanted to laugh but restrained myself, surely looking like I was constipated. Yingying nodded slightly, "Hello." Empress Dowager ignored her and started lecturing immediately, "Such a nice girl, what color is your hair? Let me tell you, only women who seduce men dye their hair that unnatural red! Is that even pants you're wearing? How short can pants be? What are you showing off?" Yingying wore a smile (when she has this expression, she's bound to say something nasty), "My hair isn't as bright as yours, and you said I don't understand men as well as you do. From what you're saying, men think red is seductive and yellow is rejection, right? Actually, my pants aren't that short, they'd probably reach your knees. I don't know why they look this way on me." Empress Dowager's eyes widened instantly, "Who do you think you're talking to? Is this how you speak to your elders?" Yingying feigned an innocent look, "Am I wrong? Sorry, I didn't know. I was just asking you about the relationship between hair color and seduction. Otherwise, I might have thought you dyed your hair to seduce men too!" Empress Dowager, probably not having encountered such polite defiance, turned to attack her son, "Is this the daughter-in-law you found for me?!" The rare animal didn't know what to say, stammering, "She doesn't... agree... I thought... you could persuade her..." Yingying and I both laughed upon hearing this. Asking his mom to persuade her to be with him, and her asking his mom to persuade him to leave her alone. Treating the old lady like a universal charger, huh? Empress Dowager immediately responded, "You disagree? What do you disagree with?" Yingying maintained her Mona Lisa smile, "What else could I disagree with? I can't possibly disagree with how beautiful you are, right? I disagree with becoming your daughter-in-law. I told your son, but he wouldn't stop. So I figured talking to you would be useful, hence why I'm here." I listened and thought, this is amusing! The son wants his mom to persuade Yingying to be with him, while Yingying wants his mom to persuade him to leave her alone. Using the old lady as a universal charger, huh? Empress Dowager spoke again, "You disagree? Why do you disagree? Do you know who my son is? He's