N Types of Men
Column: Essays Added Time: December 6, 2010 14:52:34 Source: admin Clicks: 47
I have a client who is over sixty years old. He is now the president of a real estate company with assets exceeding hundreds of millions. Because I knew him before he became wealthy, we talk freely. Every time I see him, he says that I am becoming more and more beautiful, and I respond by saying that he is becoming more and more handsome. One day, he said that my car was low-end and I worked so hard. If I wanted to change my current situation, I could immediately have a nice car and house. I told him that although my four wheels were broken, they could protect me from wind and rain. The money I earned was through hard work, and I liked this kind of simple life. Another day, he said that although I was beautiful, he couldn't get close to me. I told him that although he was good-looking, he was a bit old.
I have another client who is in his thirties. He is a top figure in his industry, spending millions on advertisements every year. He is very arrogant. I know both him and his wife. When I do business with him, he repeatedly hinted at me. After seeing that I didn't react, his friend told me that he had a bad relationship with his wife and was getting divorced. Girls chasing him lined up like a queue. If I wanted, I didn't need to wait in line. I told his friend that everything needs order and priority. I was willing to wait in line and even move further back if someone cut in front of me. This wealthy man, after the contract ended, owed me for over a year without settling the account. I got so angry that I removed his advertisement. Eventually, he had no choice but to settle my small account. There were several cases like this where they were initially very cooperative but later refused to settle the accounts. I kept thinking, if I had followed their wishes, would my payment be easier to collect?
The other day, while I was walking on the street, a BMW driver stopped beside me and rolled down the window, offering to take me home. I had encountered such situations many times before, which always puzzled me. If I were a seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl, it would be understandable. But I'm already thirty. Moreover, familiar people express affection because they know you. You're just walking on the street, and someone expresses concern, but who knows what they really intend. After refusing, I felt confused. Love is like a flower, so I asked again: Do I look like a bad person? My meaning was asking if he thought I looked like a woman of ill repute, which is why he dared to make such an impudent offer. He did not answer me but instead asked if I thought he looked like a bad person. I replied, "You absolutely look like a good person, but I like bad ones." He then asked if I was married. I replied, "No, I'm an old maid." He mumbled, "Old? But are you still a maiden?" I responded, "Oh, you think I'm too old to walk, so you want to send me home? Comrade Lei Feng, thank you, but I can still walk." Then I walked away.
I also have a client who is in his thirties. During the contract signing, his conditions were so harsh that they were almost unbearable. He kept adding more conditions until finally, I wanted to get angry but couldn't. In frustration, I said, "Fine, I'll give you a wife." Everyone laughed, and the contract was signed. However, when I went to settle the account after finishing the project, he said I owed him a wife, using this as an excuse not to pay. No matter how many times I asked, it was always the same reason. One day, after they had just finished a meeting with many people present, I asked about the settlement again. He once again mentioned the wife issue. I said, "Alright, I'll introduce you to two." He said one was enough. I said, "One older woman with a younger one, buy one get one free. If you don't accept, I'd rather introduce you to a pockmarked one." He said a pockmarked one was better than a pretty fifty-year-old. I said, "Then how about an eighty-year-old? Once married, you'd instantly have a large family of grandchildren, effortlessly becoming a grandfather. Besides, every night you'd be hugging an eighty-year-old grandmother, drinking expired milk, possibly poisoning yourself. How could I explain that to you?" Everyone laughed, and finally, he issued a transfer check.
There's a boy in his early twenties, much younger than me, not very familiar. He sends me text messages every day. Seeing that I ignored him, he finally told me that he was a virgin, and if I was willing, we could meet immediately. This made me quite hesitant. After hesitating for half a day, I told him to be careful in the next few days and not lose his virginity to anyone else. I would discuss it with my husband and reply later.
I recently bought a high-end Tianya Ge car. Although it might seem inferior compared to Mercedes-Benz or BMW, compared to my previous car, it was a significant upgrade. I drove it happily, and others who rode in it also said it was great. One day, I went out with two colleagues, and upon sitting in the car, one of them sighed and said, "Riding in this car makes me want to marry you." We traveled far and after finishing our errands, the two insisted on treating me to dinner. Unable to refuse, I agreed. During the meal, they told me that they had discussed it and were willing to be my second and third husbands respectively, promising never to quarrel. They asked for my opinion. Staring at them dumbfounded, I said, "The tall one is too tall, and the short one is too short. Starting today, go home and cultivate yourselves. When the tall one shrinks to 170 cm and the short one grows to 180 cm, I'll consider taking you in." The tall one was dissatisfied, saying, "It's fine for the short one to grow taller, but why should I shrink?"
I said, "The short one is too fat, growing to 180 cm would be more proportionate. The tall one is too thin, shrinking to 170 cm would be more suitable."
The tall one said, "This is called being picky," and I said, "Things offered on a silver platter usually aren't good, so of course, I have to choose."
The tall one said, "So things not offered on a silver platter are good?"
I said, "No, those accidentally stumbled upon are the best."
The other night before sleeping, I placed a glass of water by my bedside to drink if I got thirsty in the middle of the night. Just before dawn, my husband picked up the cup and took a sip, saying, "Why does this water taste strange?" I said, "Nothing's wrong, I poured the water." My husband took another sip and said, "What tea bag did you use? Why has it expanded so much?" I was surprised and said, "I didn't put any tea bags in there. What is it?" My husband handed me the cup, and when I took it, I saw a wad of toilet paper soaked inside. I didn't remember throwing it into the cup after wiping the baby's bottom last night. I wanted to laugh but didn't dare, so I told him, "This is expensive cellulose protein slimming tea. Don't drink it." Then I took the cup and poured the water into the trash can beside the bed. Unexpectedly, my husband got upset and said, "It's so expensive, and you pour it out after I only took one sip. You're not suitable for drinking such things," I replied.