There should be a house not necessarily big, but clean. A very comfortable double bed inside, not too soft. There is a large double bathtub, not necessarily pretty. I hope the wall colors are not monotonous, preferably a mixture of various colors. Place a "Ginsberg" brand piano in the living room. Always keep your favorite perfume on the piano. Buy a purebred Siberian Samoyed dog, white only. I'll name it "Ster". There should be a couple's dining table and two couple's chairs. Also, there needs to be a large LCD TV with a comfortable pink or white low-back sofa in front. Connect a video cable between the computer and the LCD TV so that movies can be played on the computer and directly transmitted to the TV. We can lean on each other on the sofa, watching your favorite TV series or movies. There should be a small fridge where there are always your favorite fruits, drinks, and food, including snacks. The bedroom doesn't need much space, but there should be a large double quilt because I don't like the idea of you having one quilt and me another. I don't want there to be such a distance between us. Whether it's the bright morning sunshine or the gentle moonlight at night, they always shine through the glass into our warm little nest. When night falls, I like to hold you from behind while sleeping, curling up like shrimp. Quietly accompanying you, sharing your sweetest dreams together. In the morning, I won't let you get up alone. We brush teeth, wash faces together, with our cute little toothbrushes in the cup. Early in the morning, I will cook breakfast, but you have to trust my skills. Your task is to neatly fold the quilt in our bedroom. Of course, lunch is your responsibility. No matter how good or bad it tastes, I will never blame you. After lunch, you wash the dishes first, and I wipe the table and sweep the floor. Then I'll hug you from behind, talking to you while you wash the dishes. I'll whisper gently in your ear: "Honey, you've worked hard." Every weekend, I will take time to accompany you shopping. Coming back from shopping, we make lunch together at noon. You stir-fry, I wash vegetables. In the evening, I will take you wearing loose clothes, carrying my guitar that has been with me for many years, holding your hand crossing the zebra crossing you dislike. You lead our "Ster" to the park, finding a quiet corner with a double outdoor reclining chair. Sitting beside you, I play every melodious love song for you. When you're tired, we pack up and go home hand in hand. Time quietly passes by... Then, you give birth to a child for me, whether a boy or a girl, I like both, but I still hope for a boy. I'll name him "Little Hu Lu Wa", hoping he grows up as lovely, mischievous, brave, and righteous as Hu Lu Wa. Although it takes a lot of care, when the child grows up, if I'm not around one day, the child can protect you. Of course, I hope our Little Hu Lu Wa inherits my musical talent and literary talent. If it's a girl, we'll name her Le Mei, hoping she's happy and beautiful, just like you - gentle, virtuous, sensitive, and generous. When we have time, we take our child home often to visit your parents and mine. I'll accompany your father to watch Peking Opera, play Chinese chess, and taste tea. I'll talk with your mother about our daily life and praise your gentleness and virtue. My father is a great man, learned and knowledgeable, a hero who has gone through much. My mother is a smart and capable woman, good at budgeting. You can spend time discussing literature with my father and learn from my mother about life's trivial matters, learning to handle some household affairs. They're old now, we should show more filial piety. We should learn more from our elders, learn the essence of their lives, the principles of being a person, the essence of life, and thus educate our children well so they grow up strong. After our children get married, we'll find a place to continue our sunset years. I don't know until which day we can walk together, but it feels so peaceful. Birth, aging, illness, and death are natural laws. I would choose to die first for a simple reason. Fantasy version: If there's no you in heaven, I'll wait for you in hell. In heaven, I'll help "Jesus" sweep the floor, guard the gate, and ask "Jesus" to let me hold my guitar at the gate of heaven waiting for your arrival. In hell, I'll plead with "Yama" and apply to "King Yama" that I don't want to reincarnate yet because I want to wait for you to drink "Meng Po Tang" together. Realistic version: I'm afraid you'll leave first, leaving me alone in an empty house filled with your scent and memories. I am a person who can't let go, deeply moved by circumstances. Eating from the same bowl during life, buried in the same pit after death. Regardless of which day we end up on, it's so warm and happy. Our old furniture, tender dialogues, weathered faces, muffled voices, and words of happiness will accompany us until the end. Looking back at our young selves, seeing our aged selves now. This is our love and life. Wherever you are, wherever the next life may be, I will constantly search and hesitate, hoping that when we meet again, we can argue less, be less capricious, doubt less, gain more happiness, more consideration, and more mutual support. I just want to quietly and happily spend this life with you. That's all. Signed, Chen Xiaomo, May 17, 2010.
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