1. Don't compare laziness with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you!
2. There are so many people who look down on me, who are you?
3. The rich eventually become a couple.
4. Most people only do three things in their lives: deceiving themselves, deceiving others, and being deceived by others.
5. Not afraid of being used, but afraid that you are useless.
6. Other people's wealth is my external property.
7. Women adorn themselves for those who please them; men go broke for those who please them!
8. If the green hills remain, there's still no firewood...
9. Strongly protest the insertion of TV series during advertisements!
10. Heaven hasn't given me a great mission, but it still torments my mind and wears out my body...
11. When poor, eat wild vegetables at home; when rich, eat wild vegetables at hotels...
12. My principle is: if others don't offend me, I won't offend them; if they do offend me, I'll get angry!
13. People always make mistakes, otherwise the path of correctness would be overcrowded.
14. Occasionally joking about life feels great, but when life jokes about you, it's terrible...
15. Generation gap is--I asked Dad: "What do you think of 'Chrysanthemum Terrace'?" Dad thought for a moment and said: "Never drank it!"
16. At first glance, you're not impressive; upon closer inspection, you're even worse than at first glance.
17. You can't gain weight in one bite, but fat people get that way one bite at a time!
18. Women who know a little about men end up as men's wives, women who know everything about men end up as old maids.
19. Heaven has bestowed youth upon us, along with pimples.
20. When problems arise, look for reasons within yourself first; don't blame the lack of gravity on Earth just because you're constipated.
21. I was once a passionate seed, but then it rained... and I drowned.
22. Money isn't everything, sometimes you need a credit card.
23. I allow you to enter my world, but I absolutely do not allow you to walk back and forth in it.
24. I hope one day I can double-click my wallet, select a hundred-dollar bill, press "ctrl c", and then keep pressing "ctrl v".
25. People fear fame like pigs fear getting fat, men fear having no money, and women fear being overweight.
26. If having money is also a mistake, I'd rather make the same mistake over and over again.
27. If marriage is the grave of love, then I look forward to someone burying me.
28. Never hang yourself on one tree, try the surrounding trees a few more times.
29. Everyone has at least one dream, a reason to be strong.
30. Mature people don't ask about the past, smart people don't ask about the present, and open-minded people don't ask about the future.
31. Love is like two people pulling on a rubber band, the one who gets hurt is always the one who doesn't want to let go!
32. If your heart has no place to rest, wherever you go, you are wandering!
33. After seeing me, you will suddenly realize: being handsome can be so specific!
34. As a child, if I didn't study, Mom said: "When you grow up, marry Mr. Wang who sells pork." Now I teach my daughter: "Study hard, and when you grow up, you can marry Mr. Wang who sells pork."
35. Ordered two dishes at the cafeteria at noon. After eating the first one, I was shocked: Is there a dish harder to eat than this? After eating the second one, I cried: Yes, there really is!
36. Cherish life--if God lets you live, there must be a reason.
37. Work, take a step back and the horizon broadens; love, take a step back and the person is gone.
38. We had a small disagreement: she hoped I could turn dirt into gold, I hoped she would regard gold as dirt.
39. Mom says life should never miss two things: the last bus home and the person who deeply loves you.
40. Men shouldn't complain about women being too realistic if they aren't capable, women shouldn't complain about men being too fickle if they aren't strong.
41. Even if I am a toad, I will definitely not marry a female toad.
42. Recently, many people have jumped off buildings, be careful not to get hit.
43. Look into my eyes, besides eye boogers, you will see determination and sincerity.
44. Next life, I will definitely reincarnate as a woman, then marry a man like me.
45. Sleep is an art--no one can stop me from pursuing art!
46. I not only have a car, but it's a bicycle.
47. Men have gold under their knees, I cut off the whole leg, and didn't find a single piece of copper!
48. If you see a shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there's sunlight behind you!
49. Question: Which part of me do you like? Answer: I like you to stay far away!
50. What use is "handsome"? In the end, it's still eaten by "pawn"!
51. Four great sorrows in life: long drought meets sweet rain, one drop; meeting an old friend in a foreign land, a creditor; wedding night, next door; passing the imperial examination, in a dream.
52. Love is like playing basketball, there's offense and defense, sometimes there are fake moves!
53. In the morning, I wanted to skip class, so I took six coins from my pocket: if they all come up heads, I'll go to class. After hesitating for a while, I decided against it, better not to take the risk.
54. A successful husband is one whose money his wife can't spend, a successful wife is one who finds such a husband.
55. Pigs have pig thoughts, people have human thoughts. If pigs had human thoughts, they wouldn't be pigs anymore--they'd be Eight戒 (Pigsy)!
56. There's a monkey in the zoo that's incredibly ugly, everyone who sees it throws up. One day I went, I threw up; one day you went, the monkey threw up.
57. Others enjoy moonlit nights, I spend money under the sun.
58. Long, long ago, lies and truth were bathing by the river. Lies finished first, put on truth's clothes and left, but truth refused to wear lies' clothes. Later, in people's eyes, there were only lies dressed in truth's clothes, and it was hard to accept naked truth.
59. Roses, yours; chocolates, yours; diamonds, yours; you, mine.
60. Among three people walking, there must be one who can be my teacher; among three musketeers, there must be one who is stronger; among three lovers, there must be one who gets hurt.
61. When men are poor, they hate women for being materialistic; when they are rich, they wish all women were materialistic.
62. I wanted to start dating early, but it's too late now...
63. Can't play musical instruments or paint, find laundry and cooking tiring.
64. I've been sad and tearful, I've been heartbroken. This is the price of being "two".
65. You will never see me love you the most, because I love you the most when I can't see you. Similarly, you will never see me loneliest, because I am loneliest when you can't see me.
66. What makes you tired is not the distant mountain, but a grain of sand in your shoe!
67. Driving is not difficult, except for new drivers.
68. Happiness is scratching when you itch, unhappiness is itching but unable to scratch, even worse unhappiness is that for a long time, both soul and body can't feel that restless itch anymore.
69. In spring, I buried myself in the soil at the village entrance, and in autumn, I harvested a lot of handsome guys. Then I changed the village name to "Handsome Guy Village", and as expected, I became the village chief.
70. Women are divided into two types: married and unmarried. Men are divided into two types: voluntarily married and forcibly married.
71. Being born is easy. Living is easy. Life is not easy.
72. Mistake is a temporary regret, while missing is a permanent regret.
73. Economists say: capital flows to increase value. Later, I found out that my capital is flowing, but other people's capital is increasing in value.
74. Whoever says I am white, slim, and beautiful, I will be friends with them.
75. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you're squatting inside the toilet or waiting outside.
76. Once saw Uncle Two buying vegetables, I blurted out: "Two vegetables, buy uncle?" Uncle Two said: "So big already, and still can't speak properly."
77. Bored at work? Toss a coin! Heads, surf the net; tails, sleep; upright, work; tilted, work hard; shattered, apply for overtime; if two coins fall, toss every day!
78. When I was young, the teacher explained the definition of "handsome guy" to me, I couldn't figure it out. Later, a classmate showed me a mirror. Oh, suddenly I understood!
79. Comrades: don't trade stocks, the risk is too high, making tofu is safest--hard becomes tofu dry, runny becomes tofu pudding, thin becomes tofu skin, none becomes soy milk, spoiled becomes stinky tofu, guaranteed profit without loss.
80. The ideal of life is an ideal life.
81. Men deepen friendships through smoking and drinking, women deepen friendships through complaints.
82. To love someone, you need to understand and console; apologize and thank; admit mistakes and correct them; be considerate and empathetic; accept rather than endure; forgive rather than indulge; support rather than control; comfort rather than question; confess rather than accuse; remember rather than forget; communicate rather than dictate; silently pray rather than demand excessively.
83. Don't force men to lie, they will hate you; don't take their words seriously, you will hate them.
84. One day, mung beans broke up with his girlfriend, he kept crying and crying... until he sprouted...
85. Men teasing women is called flirting; women teasing men is called seduction; men and women teasing each other is called love.
86. "Why do people have two ears?" Grandma said: "One ear listens, the other lets it out. If it only goes in and doesn't come out, it will be full."
87. Go with the flow, face situations calmly, be modest in success, and be resilient in failure.
88. Treat others as humans when above them, treat oneself as human when below them.
89. Being able to be impulsive means you still have passion for life; always being impulsive means you don't understand life.
90. The true meaning of an iron rice bowl is not always having food somewhere, but having food wherever you go for life.
91. Close your eyes, open them, a day passes. Close your eyes, never open them again, a lifetime passes.
92. Time is the best teacher, unfortunately--in the end, it kills all its students.
93. If you can't eat pork, watch the pigs run.
94. When paying salary, the accountant told me: "Collect your salary twice a year, there's too little loose change..."
95. Remember what should be remembered, forget what should be forgotten. Change what can be changed, accept what cannot be changed.
96. More precious than gold is integrity; wider than the sea is tolerance; higher than mountains is morality.
97. Perhaps we need very little in life--a cup of water, a bowl of rice, a sentence of "I love you." But I hope: the water is poured by you, the rice cooked by you, and "I love you" said by you personally.
98. Life is like a card game! It's not about drawing a good hand, but playing a bad hand well.
99. When you point a finger at others, remember, three of your fingers are pointing at yourself.
100. Find a boyfriend like Excel--hide when you want, filter when you want, delete when you want, and when you're upset, I won't save it!
101. Love makes people forget time, time makes people forget love.
102. Sleeping is for working steadily, working is for sleeping steadily.
103. If you want to succeed, make perseverance your good friend, experience your advisor, caution your brother, and hope your sentry.
104. Men without money are like dishes without salt, somewhat lacking in flavor. Warm reminder: too much salt is not good for health.
105. Today's dreams determine my future. So I might as well sleep a bit longer.
106. Many years ago, there would be a rainbow after the storm.
107. Nostalgia--not because that era was so great, but because you were young then.
108. During a medical check-up, passing by the ENT department, after a thorough examination, the doctor wrote on my form: "Handsome".