Why can't I have what others have?

Look back, video beauties, I am still good-for-nothing until now! I have nothing! Some people say I have no sense of security! They say I have no backbone! They say I have no fantasy! They say I have no purpose in life! They say I am not ambitious! They say... In fact, sometimes I also have faith in the future! Sometimes I also try my best to fight! Sometimes I am full of backbone! Sometimes I also feel happy! But life is like a huge stone. If you want to move it, you must find at least one pivot point to rely on! I also want to make something out of myself! I also want to be famous and successful! I also wonder why others can and I cannot? Why do others have what I cannot have? Why are others so happy while I cannot be happy? I've tried! I've competed! I've worked hard! But everything suddenly disappeared! Even the way back cannot be found! Why!

I want to tell you all! My backbone has not been lost! My desire has not been forgotten! My happiness will eventually belong to me! I want to make something out of myself so that you all can see! Stop looking at me with those pitiful eyes and mocking me! And! I don't need your contemptuous gaze now! Please don't stare at me with your black-and-white eyes! Thank you!

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