Tactfully decline unreasonable requests from colleagues

Boundaries: they can protect yourself and make you more attractive.

77:

I am a very approachable person, generally not competing with others. But in the office, it seems like anyone can boss me around. Colleagues would casually ask me to "help copy something" or "deliver this document to someone". Sometimes when there are too many tasks, my own work gets delayed. While I'm doing these things for them, I feel angry inside: why do you have to make me help you? Why can't you do it yourself? Why is it always me?

Nuo Nuo:

The heart is like the body; it also has boundaries. When others get too close, we instinctively step back to maintain a safe yet polite distance. And what about those who burden you with all sorts of trivial errands without considering your workload? Unclear boundaries make one vulnerable, leading to suppressed anger while still having to deal with intrusions from others.

The problem is, this anger often ends up being taken out on someone else. A friend of mine suppresses her frustration at work but becomes completely intolerant of any委屈 (wrongdoing) at home. Her husband is frequently subjected to unwarranted outbursts. Unfortunately, she displaces her work frustrations onto her family - her daughter even complained: "Can you stop bringing work stress home?"

Being "approachable" is your advantage, but if not managed properly across different situations, this trait might not be beneficial. If you want to avoid offending your colleagues but still need to set boundaries, try this - elegantly express your limits. For instance, when someone says "Could you help me copy something," you could respond with "I'm busy right now, can we do this in half an hour?" They likely won't wait half an hour just for you to copy a small file. If someone pushes further with "You're not busy anyway!", you can firmly say "It's really not convenient for me right now, sorry." Congratulations, you've successfully reclaimed control over your decisions and not let others easily invade your personal space.

I agree with this statement: Boundaries can protect yourself and enhance your appeal. Consider this: being elegant, clear, adaptable, and having principles - you can still be well-liked.