Dining Table 1. Banquets are not omnipotent, but there can be no banquets; 2. A reservation made a day in advance is sincere invitation, one made half a day in advance is for accompaniment, and an invitation given when the dishes are served is just to make up the numbers; 3. Coming at the first invitation is straightforward, coming after three invitations is putting on airs, not coming no matter how many times you're invited is principled, and showing up uninvited is freeloading; 4. The three great tragedies of a banquet: those you wanted to invite didn't come, those who came were just for accompaniment, and when it's time to settle the bill, you're the only one sober; 5. If friends come, there will be good wine, and if wolves come, female wolves should welcome them; 6. One dinner party a week makes you an ordinary person, one a day makes you a very popular person, three a day makes you a socialite, N parties a day makes you a waiter, and Sohu laughs at my madness; 7. Those who know how to toast rely on the art of language, those who are good at drinking contests use guerrilla tactics, those who pretend to be drunk are good at deception, and those who can't be drunk have definite self-defense techniques; 8. What those who don't drink at the banquet say in their hearts: eat your own food and let others throw up! Finally, this official said with blurred eyes that the above are just points, not comprehensive enough, please bear with me. 9. The county magistrate hosted a feast and got drunk, shouting loudly: I'll propose three more cups! First cup: whoever doesn't drink, whose father am I! Everyone hurriedly drank up; Second cup, whoever doesn't drink, who is my father! Everyone finished their drinks; Third cup, the drinkers are the fathers of those who don't drink, everyone was drunk! 10. Often eating with leaders, promotion is inevitable; often eating with big shots, getting rich is inevitable; often eating with wives, boredom is inevitable; often eating with lovers, spending money is inevitable; often eating with secretaries, making mistakes is inevitable.
The rules of the wine table... must be learned by men and known by women [super complete] Rules of the wine table:
(1) If you really can't drink, don't take the first sip, just hold the rice bowl and eat while holding chopsticks.
(2) If you are sure you will drink, don't hesitate, next comes the rules.
Rule One: At the wine table, although "deep feelings require gulping down" or "shallow feelings require just licking", you should never say this phrase while drinking.
Rule Two: Conceal your abilities and bide your time, never act overly confident right from the start.
Rule Three: Let others finish their drinks before it's your turn to toast.
Rule Four: Many can toast one, but one should never toast many unless you are the leader.
Rule Five: When toasting others without clinking glasses, the amount you drink depends on the situation, such as the other person's alcohol tolerance, their willingness to drink, never drink less than the other person since it's your toast.
Rule Six: When toasting others and clinking glasses, say, "I'll finish mine, you drink as you wish," to show generosity.
Rule Seven: If your position is low, remember to frequently refill the leader's glass, don't blindly offer to drink for the leader, if you must, ensure the leader truly wants someone to replace them, and pretend you're just eager to drink rather than doing it for the leader. For example, if Leader A cannot handle alcohol, you can subtly intercept those planning to toast Leader A.
Rule Eight: Pick up the wine glass (beer glass), hold it with your right hand, support the bottom with your left, keep your glass always lower than others'. If you are the leader, be considerate and don't place your glass too low, otherwise, how can subordinates behave?
Rule Nine: Unless there's a special person present, clinking glasses should follow the clock order, don't favor some over others.
Rule Ten: When clinking glasses and toasting, there should be something to say, otherwise, why would I bother drinking your wine?
Rule Eleven: Don't talk about business at the dining table, once the drinks flow well, the business is almost done, everyone understands this implicitly, otherwise, they wouldn't open up and drink with you.
Rule Twelve: Don't act arrogantly, say wrong things, or do wrong deeds, don't argue, voluntarily punishing yourself with a drink shows true character.
Rule Thirteen: If, purely hypothetically, there isn't enough wine, place the wine bottle in the middle of the table, let people help themselves, don't foolishly go around pouring wine one by one, otherwise, what happens if there's no wine left for those who come later?
Rule Fourteen: There will inevitably be one last silent toast, so don't let your glass be empty. It's unavoidable~
Rule Fifteen: Be mindful not to lose control after drinking, don't boast, don't lose composure, don't spew saliva everywhere, don't wildly fling your chopsticks, don't randomly point fingers, don't slurp soup loudly, don't fart or burp, if you can't hold it, go to the restroom, no one will stop you.
Rule Sixteen: Don't constantly say "I can't drink" (if you actually drink), lest others accuse you of being insincere, whether you believe it or not, people can genuinely tell if someone can drink or not.
Rule Seventeen: When a leader drinks with you, it's giving you face, regardless of how much the leader asks you to drink, finish yours first as a sign of respect, remember, use both hands, and keep your glass lower.
Rule Eighteen: Peanuts are a good thing for drinkers. Maintaining a clear mind, post-drinking care is essential, a glass of yogurt, a glass of hot water, a warm towel all show your thoughtful consideration.
If you can't drink:
1. Don't initiate, adopt a defensive strategy;
2. Place two large glasses on the table, one with liquor, one with mineral water, use a small wine glass to toast, drink water frequently, when most guests at the banquet are about 80% drunk, you can substitute water for wine and take the initiative;
3. After toasting, don't swallow immediately, find an opportunity to wipe your mouth with a napkin and spit out the wine into the napkin;
4. Eat some fatty or starchy foods before sitting down to prevent getting drunk easily;
5. Control the pace, don't drink too fast at the beginning;
6. Don't mix different types of alcohol, it gets you drunk easily;
7. When the leader serves food, don't turn the rotating tray beside the dining table, turning the tray while the leader serves food is a big taboo at the banquet;
8. When you're about 60% drunk, drink the vinegar in front of you and ask the server to refill it;
9. Each time you toast, fill your glass, then pretend to lose your grip on the wine glass before drinking, spill some out each time, this way you can reduce the amount you drink significantly;
10. Place half a cup of tea in front of you before drinking, don't swallow the wine, immediately pick up the teacup and drink water, during this time spit the wine into the teacup, when it's full, change the water, this works!
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Etiquette at Banquets
1. Everyone should enjoy together, avoid private conversations
Most banquets have many guests, so try to discuss topics that most people can participate in, gaining approval from the majority. Because individuals' interests, preferences, and knowledge vary, topics should not be too specific, avoiding monopolizing the conversation with personal interests, wandering off-topic, and neglecting others. Especially avoid whispering privately with others, creating a sense of mystery, which can lead to jealousy ("only you two are close"), affecting the atmosphere of the banquet.
2. Aim for the host and guest of honor, grasp the overall situation
Most banquets have a theme, or purpose. When attending, first observe everyone's demeanor and expressions, distinguishing between primary and secondary roles. Avoid simply drinking for the sake of drinking, missing the opportunity to make friends, and don't let certain drunken revelers disrupt the host's intentions.
3. Appropriate language, humorous and witty
The banquet table can reveal a person's talent, knowledge, cultivation, and social grace. Occasionally, a humorous and witty remark leaves a deep impression on guests, creating a favorable impression naturally. Therefore, knowing when to speak appropriately is crucial. Humorous and witty language is key.
4. Moderate persuasion, avoid forcing
At the banquet table, you may encounter situations where people try to persuade others to drink. Some treat the banquet as a battlefield, trying every means to get others to drink more, believing that not drinking enough indicates insincerity. "Judging heroes by alcohol" may work for those with high tolerance, but causes difficulties for those with low tolerance. Excessive persuasion can destroy existing friendships.
5. Toasting order, clear hierarchy
Toasting is also a skill. Generally, toasting follows the order of age, position, and identity of the host and guest. Before toasting, fully consider the order, understanding the hierarchy. Even if unfamiliar with others at the table, inquire about their identities or observe how others address them, keeping this in mind to avoid awkward or embarrassing situations. When toasting someone important at the table, show extra respect, but remember, if higher-ranking or older individuals are present, show respect to them first, otherwise, it may make everyone uncomfortable.
6. Observe words and expressions, understand people's hearts
To gain praise at the banquet table, one must learn to observe words and expressions. Interacting with others requires understanding their hearts, adapting to circumstances, and playing your role well at the banquet table.
7. Gradual exposure, remain steady
At the banquet, recognize the setting and accurately assess your capabilities. Don't get too excited, preserve some energy and discretion in drinking and speaking, neither allowing others to underestimate you nor revealing too much, choose the appropriate moment to gradually showcase your abilities, remaining steady and preventing others from thinking "that's all you've got," ensuring everyone respects your strength.
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Pay attention to details
1 - Seating Arrangements
Generally speaking, seating arrangements follow the principle of "left is honored, east is superior" and "facing the door is honored." If it's a round table, the main guest directly facing the door takes precedence, with the positions closer to the main guest being more honorable based on distance from the main guest. Positions equidistant from the main guest give precedence to the left side. If it's a square table and there is a seat directly facing the door, then the right seat facing the door is for the main guest. If it does not directly face the door, then the right seat facing east is the chief seat.
If it's a grand banquet, the arrangement of tables follows the principle of the chief table being ahead and central, with the left side sequentially numbered 2, 4, 6, and the right side numbered 3, 5, 7, according to the identity and closeness of the main and guests, arranged accordingly.
If you are the host, you should arrive early and wait near the door, guiding guests to their seats. If you are an invitee, then you should follow the host's arrangement.
In general, if your boss is absent, you should guide the boss to the main seat and seat the highest-ranking client to the left of the boss. Unless the level of the receiving object is extremely high...
2 - Ordering Dishes
If time permits, you should wait until most guests arrive, then pass the menu around for them to order. Of course, as a business banquet, you need to worry about the budget. Therefore, managing the budget is crucial. Doing homework beforehand is important, choosing a suitable class banquet location is more important, allowing guests to greatly understand your budget. Moreover, generally speaking, if you are paying the bill, guests won't feel comfortable ordering dishes and will leave it to you. If your boss is also at the banquet, never let him/her order the dishes out of respect, or because you think he/she has rich experience in entertaining and attends many banquets. Otherwise, he/she might feel disrespected.
If you are an invitee, you should know that you shouldn't be too proactive in ordering dishes but let the host do it. If the host insists, you can order a dish that is not too expensive and not something everyone dislikes. Remember to consult the opinions of those at the table, especially asking "Is there anything you don't eat?" or "What do you prefer?" Making everyone feel taken care of. After ordering, you can inquire "I ordered the dishes, do they suit your tastes?" or "Do we need to order something else?"
When ordering dishes, you must be confident. Ordering dishes can be based on the following three rules:
Look at the composition of the group. Generally, one dish per person is a relatively common rule. If the gathering has more men, you can appropriately increase the quantity.
Look at the combination of dishes. Generally, a table should have a mix of meat and vegetables, cold and hot dishes, aiming for completeness. If there are more men, you can add more meat dishes; if there are more women, you can add more light vegetables.
Look at the importance of the banquet. For a regular business banquet, a dish costing around 50 to 80 yuan can be acceptable. If the person being entertained is a key figure, then you should order a few substantial dishes, such as lobster, knife fish, shad, and if you want to go further, then abalone, shark fin powder, etc.
One more thing to note is that you shouldn't ask the server about the price of the dishes or haggle, which might make your company appear petty in front of clients, and the clients might also feel constrained.
Attached: Guide to Chinese cuisine ordering—Three priorities and four taboos
A standard Chinese meal usually starts with cold dishes, followed by hot stir-fries, then main courses, then dim sum and soup, if feeling a bit greasy, you can order some desserts after the meal, finally serving fruit platters. In ordering, you need to consider all aspects of the meal.
Priority Considerations for Dishes
First, dishes with Chinese characteristics. When entertaining foreign guests, this point is even more important. Like fried spring rolls, boiled glutinous rice balls, steamed dumplings, lion's head, Kung Pao chicken, these are not necessarily gourmet delicacies, but because they have distinct Chinese characteristics, they are highly favored by many foreigners.
Second, local specialties. For example, Xi'an's mutton stewed bread, Hunan's Mao family red-braised pork, Shanghai's red-braised lion's head, Beijing's hot pot lamb, when entertaining local guests in these places, these characteristic dishes are likely to receive better reviews than the monotonous seafood.
Third, the restaurant's specialty dishes. Many restaurants have their own signature dishes. Ordering a signature dish from the restaurant shows the host's attentiveness and respect for the guest.
When arranging the menu, you must also consider the dietary taboos of the guests, especially paying high attention to the dietary taboos of the main guest. These dietary taboos mainly include four points:
1. Religious dietary taboos should not be overlooked at all. For example, Muslims usually do not eat pork and do not drink alcohol. Domestic Buddhists eat less meat and pungent foods like onions, garlic, leeks, mustard. Some Buddhist believers who worship Guanyin particularly avoid eating beef, which is especially important when entertaining compatriots from Hong Kong, Macau, Taiwan, and overseas Chinese.
2. Due to health reasons, certain foods are also avoided. For example, people with heart disease, cerebral vascular disease, arteriosclerosis, hypertension, and stroke sequelae should not eat dog meat, hepatitis patients should avoid eating lamb and soft-shelled turtle, gastrointestinal inflammation, stomach ulcers, and other digestive system diseases should avoid eating soft-shelled turtles, hypertension, high cholesterol patients should drink less chicken soup.
3. People from different regions often have different dietary preferences. This point should be considered when arranging the menu. For example, people from Hunan province generally prefer spicy foods and rarely eat sweets. People from English-speaking countries usually do not eat pets, rare animals, animal organs, animal heads, and claws. Additionally, when entertaining foreign guests, it's best to avoid hard-to-eat dishes that require gnawing, as foreigners generally don't spit out food that has already been bitten into their mouths, this also needs to be considered.
4. Certain professions, for various reasons, often have their own unique dietary restrictions. For example, government officials are not allowed to accept meals during official duties, and during official banquets, they are not allowed to indulge excessively, not allowed to exceed the national standard for dining, and not allowed to consume strong alcohol. Similarly, drivers are not allowed to drink alcohol during work hours. Ignoring this could potentially cause the other party to commit a violation.
3 - Eating
Chinese people generally pay great attention to eating, and also to table manners. As workplace etiquette becomes increasingly important, dining table manners and behavior are becoming more refined. Below, using Chinese cuisine as an example, teaches you how to be polite and graceful at the dining table, acting with ease.
At the start of a Chinese banquet, the first wet towel provided by the server is for wiping your hands, not your face. When lobster, chicken, or fruit is served, a small water bowl is brought, containing lemon slices or rose petals. This is not a beverage but for washing your hands. To wash your hands, rotate your fingers lightly in the water, then dry them with a small towel.
During the meal, maintain civility and politeness. When entertaining foreign guests, don't repeatedly urge them to eat. Instead, introduce them to the characteristics of Chinese dishes, leaving the decision to eat up to them. Some people like to urge others to eat and even serve food onto their plates. Foreign guests don't have this habit, and if you insist too much, they might feel annoyed: "I said I'm not eating, why are you pushing me?" Conversely, when attending a banquet hosted by foreigners, don't expect the host to repeatedly offer you food. If you wait for others to serve you, you might end up hungry.
After the guests are seated, don't immediately start eating. Wait for the host to signal the start of the meal. Guests should not precede the host. When picking dishes, do so politely, waiting for the dishes to rotate to your position before using your chopsticks. Don't reach across others. Take moderate amounts at a time. Chew slowly and thoroughly