10 Journalists and Editors Write College Entrance Exam Essays in Internet Slang Style

by xue94fwsh on 2012-03-07 11:35:42

Inspired by the various popular "creative writing styles" on the internet recently, I have written an entertaining essay titled "Refuse Mediocrity" which I hope will bring some fun to parents and students and reduce some pressure.

Private Fleeing Style - "Refuse Mediocrity"

Dear friends and relatives, I have abandoned everything, including the laziness, idleness, mediocrity, and inaction that have accompanied me since birth, and fled with a sense of unwillingness. This life may not necessarily achieve extraordinary excellence, but it will definitely strive for progress and continuous struggle. Thank you all for your care and help over the years, wish you all happiness! Unable to face everyone's expectations and trust, unable to explain to everyone, and also embarrassed, hence leaving without saying goodbye. Please forgive me! Mediocrity bows.

About Private Fleeing Style: Wang Gongquan, a senior figure in the investment banking circle, announced his private fleeing on Weibo late at night on May 16th, abandoning everything for love, causing a huge wave on the Internet, and netizens followed suit, creating the Private Fleeing Style. Wang Gongquan's private fleeing Weibo: "Dear relatives and colleagues, I have abandoned everything and fled privately with Wang Qin. Thank you all for your care and help over the years, wish you all happiness! Unable to face everyone's expectations and trust, unable to explain to everyone, and also embarrassed, hence leaving without saying goodbye. Please forgive me! Gongquan bows."

Raging Style - "Refuse Mediocrity"

Since choosing to refuse mediocrity, Brother has walked down a one-way street, hasn't he! Brother wants to be the little monster that beats Ultraman, doesn't he! Brother wants to be so handsome that Leonardo plays Shrek, doesn't he!! Brother wants to embrace Xia Yuhuo by Daming Lake, doesn't he!!! Brother wants to enlarge his nostrils and call Zǐwēi sister to play Dota together, doesn't he!!! Brother wants to draw seven stripes on his arm, doesn't he!!!!! Brother wants Jobs to cut apples for him, doesn't he!!!! Brother wants to climb Mount Everest and laugh at the end of the world in 2012, doesn't he!!!!!! People who refuse mediocrity are unaffordable, people who refuse mediocrity were all fallen angels in their previous lives, aren't they, aren't they!!!!

An earlier "Raging Style" (French version): The French way of counting is really top-notch! They don't say seventy-six, they say sixty plus sixteen! They don't say ninety-six, they say four twenties plus sixteen! The French mathematics is so good, isn't it! I can calculate addition and subtraction within one hundred without a calculator, isn't it! Phone numbers are read two by two!! How do you read 176988472! They don't read it as yaoqiuliujiubabasiqier! They read it as one hundred plus sixty plus sixteen, four twenties plus eighteen, then four twenties plus four, then sixty plus twelve!! By the time the phone number is finished, a whole episode of The Little Calabash Brothers has been watched, hasn't it!

3Q Style - "Refuse Mediocrity"

When you see this article, we have just made a very difficult decision. Before the Ministry of Education stops neglecting physical education and music and does not include them in the college entrance examination, we have decided to stop mediocre answers on all college entrance examination papers. We deeply understand that this will cause certain inconvenience to the grading group, and we sincerely apologize to you. For twelve years, we have had the privilege of growing up with various test papers; in the future, we look forward to continuing our journey with various test papers.

3Q Style: Originating from the dispute between 360 and QQ, a letter sent by 360: When you see this letter, we have just made a very difficult decision. Before 360 stops invading and maliciously slandering QQ, we have decided to stop running QQ software on computers with 360 software installed. We deeply understand that this will cause you certain inconvenience, and we sincerely apologize...

Bao Dai Style - "Refuse Mediocrity"

Baoyu approached Daiyu, sat beside her, and after examining her carefully, asked: "Sister, did you participate in the college entrance examination?" Daiyu replied: "No, I only went on Weibo for a while and learned a little about the composition topic." Baoyu then asked: "What is your Weibo ID?" Daiyu told him. Then he asked: "Have you ever written about refusing mediocrity?" Daiyu thought about it, considering that he must have written it, so she answered: "No, I think mediocrity is a rare thing, how could everyone write about it." Baoyu became frenzied and tore up his admission ticket: "What rare thing, it doesn't distinguish between high and low! Even a celestial sister like you hasn't written it, I won't write it either!" Grandma Jia embraced Baoyu: "Wretch! Why destroy that life root? You were born precious, how can you associate with mediocrity!!"

The original text of "Dream of Red Mansions": Baoyu approached Daiyu, sat beside her, and after examining her carefully, asked: "Sister, have you studied?" Daiyu replied: "No, I only went to school for a year and recognized a few words." Baoyu then asked: "What is your honorable name?" Daiyu told him her name. Then he asked Daiyu: "Do you have a jade or not?" Everyone didn't understand his words. Daiyu thought about it, considering that he had a jade, so she asked if she had one or not, and answered: "I don't have that. I think the jade is a rare thing, how could everyone have it." After hearing this, Baoyu immediately went into a frenzy, took off the jade, and threw it hard, cursing: "What rare thing, it doesn't distinguish between high and low, and still talks about 'spiritual' or not! I don't want this nonsense either!" Grandma Jia was anxious and hugged Baoyu: "Wretch! If you're angry, it's easy to beat or scold someone, why destroy that life root!"

Cangyang Jiacuo Style - "Refuse Mediocrity"

You will, or will not do

The exam paper is there

Silent

You estimate, or do not estimate scores

The score is there

Neither high nor low

You apply, or do not apply

The prestigious school is there

Indifferent

You attend university, or do not attend university

The hand of fate is in your hands

Neither humble nor arrogant

It's all the same

Or

Why not do something?

Your success

Can be replicated

Cangyang Jiacuo's "See or Not See"

You see, or not see me

I am there

Neither sad nor happy

You remember, or not remember me

The feeling is there

Not coming, not going

You love, or not love me

Love is there

Neither increasing nor decreasing

You follow, or not follow me

My hand is in your hand

Neither letting go nor holding on...

Pear Blossom Style - "Refuse Mediocrity"

The college entrance examination essay lets me write

Refuse mediocrity

Is it refusal

Or not refusal

I can't decide

I think

I won't write anymore

Mediocrity

Or not mediocrity

I can't worry about it anymore

Pear Blossom Style: Pear Blossom poetry is oral poetry, and Pear Blossom Style is a homophone of Zhao Lihua's name. Her typical works include "I Love Your Loneliness As Much As You Love My Solitude":

Zhao Youlin and Liu Youyuan

One is my nephew

Seven and a half years old

One is my nephew-in-law

Five years old

Now they both went out to play

V-Style - "Refuse Mediocrity"

Love essays Love college entrance exams

Hope to guess the questions

Love being a champion

Love getting high scores

Love being praised Love attending the best schools

Most love refusing mediocre results

I'm not a slogan

I'm not a great ideal

I'm just that

Forever controversial college entrance examination essay question

The original V-style version is an advertisement:

Love the Internet Love freedom Love sleeping in

Love nighttime food stalls Love racing

Also love 29-yuan T-shirts

I'm not a flag-bearer

Nor am I anyone's spokesperson

I'm Han Han

I only represent myself

I am the same as you

I am Vancl Editor Li Jun

Encounter Style - "Refuse Mediocrity"

If you meet an intellectually average girl, then marry her, too smart ones are uncontrollable! If you meet an outwardly average man, then marry him, too handsome ones attract third parties! If you meet a mundanely average boss, then follow him, too cunning ones will exhaust you! If you meet a personality-average employee, then hire him, too individualistic ones you can't afford!

Original "Encounter Style" work: If you meet me in Nanjing, I will definitely take you to Confucius Temple to row boats and enjoy night markets; If you meet me in Nanjing, I will definitely take you to Zhongshan Mausoleum to sit on the steps and watch the sunset; If you meet me in Nanjing, I will definitely take you to Chicken Cry Temple to burn incense and pray for peace; If you meet me in Nanjing, I will definitely take you to Hunan Road to eat snacks; If you meet me in Nanjing, I will definitely take you from Deji to Dayang until your legs start shaking.

Dandan Style - "Refuse Mediocrity"

"Memorized so many essay topics and none of them showed up, it's unfair. The teacher who set the questions is truly extraordinary, classmates who memorize hot topics every day, are you regretful today? Please, don't be like this!" "Teacher said the college entrance examination essay should have less nonsense, but I really can't help it. Grading teacher, I am an ordinary person, not rich, I invite you to drink Ergoutou, please don't 'refuse' me again, really, please!"

Dandan Style: "......, I am a ......, not rich, I invite you to ......, please don't ...... anymore, really, please!"

Originated from Song DanDan's microblog post criticizing Pan Shiyi: "In such a good location south of Chang'an Street, you built a large area of extremely ugly cheap buildings (Jianwai SOHO), ruining the scenery of Beijing quite a bit, are you regretful today? Please, don't be like this!" "My husband doesn't let me say more, he said don't offend people, but I really can't help it. Mr. Pan, I am an actor, not rich, I invite you to drink Lafite, please don't build buildings anymore, really, please!" Education and Health Department reporter Yu Dandan

Gu Long Style - "Refuse Mediocrity"

A solitary lamp burns like a bean.

A world-class swordsman, dressed in white as snow, with a sword like autumn water.

A tall figure, slightly hunched, is the only person in this small tavern standing drinking wine wearing a long robe.

"Are you waiting for someone called Ye Gucheng? He won't come."

"You dare talk to me like that, believe it or not, I'll kill you!"

After the sword light flashes, a fennel bean becomes nine.

"Good swordsmanship," the man in the long robe praised, "But, do you know how many ways to write 'fennel'?"

"..."

"The more characters I recognize, the more I find myself ignorant; the higher your swordsmanship, the further away you feel from being the best in the world."

"Who are you?"

"A long time ago, a Mr. Zhou told me, a swordsman is not about killing people, but saving people; a scholar is not about becoming an expert professor, but contributing to society. What's wrong with being mediocre?"

From then on, Ximen gave up the sword, no longer using a sword but still practicing swordsmanship, wandering as a knight-errant, and ten years later became famous throughout the world.

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