Whether the light ahead is red or green, Ahuan insists on walking down the path of being a woman. Ahuan is a man, 29 years old this year, but since the age of 6, he has dreamed of becoming a woman. On the evening of the Qixi Festival, he secretly left his mother, who was in the late stages of cancer, and sneaked from Wuhan to Hefei alone, saying that he wanted to hang out with his "sisters" here and relax. If possible, he would choose to have breast augmentation surgery in Hefei. On the afternoon of August 7, Ahuan swallowed 400 estrogen pills, "I can only feel like a woman through taking medicine." He told the reporter that he didn't want to hit his mother again while she was sick, but he would continue down the path of becoming a woman.
A 29-year-old man swallows 400 estrogen pills
"Is this the Morning Post hotline? My friend came from Wuhan to Hefei, bought 3 bottles of diethylstilbestrol at 15:18 from a pharmacy, each bottle containing 100 pills, and also had a bottle of soy isoflavone estrogen (100 pills). After buying the medicine, he immediately took it with mineral water and is now on the lawn opposite the Walmart on Changjiang East Road. Can you come and see him?"
On the afternoon of August 7, after receiving a call from a reader, the reporter immediately went to the scene and saw a man and a woman chatting beside the lawn. The man was about 1.75 meters tall, overweight, showing symptoms of rhinitis, and had heavy body hair, while the woman looked relatively pretty but acted somewhat strangely.
After understanding the situation, the man's name was Ahuan, 29 years old, graduated from a university in Wuhan in 2005. The woman's name was Haina, a man who had undergone gender reassignment surgery, and her name Haina meant "returning to my daughterhood". She claimed that she and Ahuan were "sisters".
When the reporter met Ahuan, encouraged by Haina, he directly said, "I want to be a woman, I hope everyone will not discriminate against our TS (transsexualism English abbreviation) group."
Ahuan introduced that since childhood, when he followed his mother shopping, he felt particularly close to women's clothing in stores. His mother, a middle school teacher, always praised girls for being sensible and encouraged him to play with girls and be a well-behaved child who doesn't fight. Since he could remember, Ahuan increasingly inclined to become a girl. He often felt that he should have been born as a daughter, just that heaven made a joke with him.
Due to his gender orientation, Ahuan frequently encountered setbacks when job hunting after graduation. His favorite and most skilled cosmetics industry repeatedly rejected him because he was male or due to his female tendency. In 2006, Ahuan's mother developed breast cancer (his parents divorced in 2002, and he stayed with his mother), making the family's situation difficult. Unable to escape the huge psychological difficulties brought by gender issues, he persisted in wanting to become a woman.
■ Dialogue
Experience: Wearing women's clothes on the road, classmates ignored me
Reporter: When did you realize you liked being a girl?
Ahuan: At the age of 6. Went shopping with my mom and saw children's clothing for girls, which I thought was especially beautiful and familiar, feeling it should be worn on myself. But my mom didn't buy it for me, that was the first time I had a gender concept.
Reporter: When was the first time you wore women's clothes?
Ahuan: At the age of 7. Secretly wore my mom's skirt, remembered it was pale pink, and felt extremely comfortable. My mom usually liked to tie my hair with red silk ribbons, always regretting not having a daughter. Sometimes she braided my hair, and I really liked braids, fearing classmates would untie my braids, so I always wore a hat. Later, I often wore women's clothes at home or during TS companions' gatherings.
Reporter: When was the first time you wore women's clothes in public?
Ahuan: During my sophomore internship, I wore women's clothes on the road. Women's jeans, short white top, carried a women's bag, and had long hair. On the road, except for the team leader, none of the classmates paid attention to me.
Reporter: How was your relationship with classmates during school?
Ahuan: In middle school, I was often bullied by male classmates, who said I loved playing with girls and disgraced them. The most memorable experience was when more than half of the male classmates surrounded me, raising table tennis paddles and saying "Chop you to death!" I was very scared. Finally, the female classmates protected me and escorted me all the way home.
Explanation: Taking medicine just to experience the feeling of being a woman
Reporter: When did you start thinking about gender reassignment surgery?
Ahuan: At the age of 19.
Reporter: Can your family accept it?
Ahuan: At the age of 22, I told my mom about my thoughts. She only had one son, initially couldn't accept it, always cried, knowing she couldn't change it, she has accepted it now. But other relatives still cannot accept it.
Reporter: When did you come to Hefei? Why did you choose Hefei?
Ahuan: Arrived in Hefei on the night of the Qixi Festival, because I was very troubled, I have a TS sister here, so I came to relax.
Reporter: Why did you take so much estrogen?
Ahuan: Because I don't have money for breast augmentation surgery, I can only feel what it's like to be a woman through taking medicine, especially the pain and swelling of the breasts, which is also a way to vent my emotions. To be a woman and for society to accept us, I will continue without hesitation.
Emotion: Had a girlfriend before, but no feelings for women
Reporter: What kind of work have you done?
Ahuan: I used to sell sanitary napkins, doing it intermittently for 5 years. But I am good at makeup and really want to work in the cosmetics industry, but they all refused me because I am not a woman. I think my female intuition is particularly good, I have talent, I was born to be a woman.
Reporter: Are you such an old bachelor, haven't people introduced girlfriends to you?
Ahuan: Definitely yes, some people introduced a few, but I had no feelings for them. Then I told them about my desire to be a woman, and naturally we broke up.
Expectation: To have a family and children as a woman
Reporter: What difficulties do you have now?
Ahuan: First, I don't want my mother to know I'm still insisting on becoming a woman, because my mother is in the late stages of cancer, I'm afraid she won't be able to withstand the shock; second, I can't choose my lifestyle, live according to my own ideas, and my father opposes it, "As soon as I become a woman, my father will immediately cut ties with me."
Reporter: What do you hope society can do for you?
Ahuan: I want to appeal for more people to pay attention to the TS group, because we are a vulnerable group in this society, hoping to get help and care, hoping not to be discriminated against by society, and hoping to gain recognition. Do you know, some sisters want to go home during the New Year, but they can't, because their families will cut ties with them once they know their situation.
The reporter was worried that he might feel unwell after taking the medicine and kept persuading him to go to the hospital quickly, but Ahuan insisted that taking so much medicine was just to experience the feeling of being a woman. Helplessly, the reporter could only let Ahuan's friend Haina take good care of Ahuan.
Xu Yishu, Huang Wenjuan, Li Lihong
Our reporter Zhang Yuxue / text
Our reporter Zheng Rui / photo
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