During the growth process of children, the enlightenment education of parents is particularly important. Beijing's outdoor training coach tells parents who participate in parent-child outdoor activities that the nature of children is to play. They learn more principles of getting along with others while playing and develop excellent qualities through games. Preschool-age children have no concept of right and wrong, so in our eyes, children are prone to making mistakes. Making mistakes is a characteristic of this age group because children have not yet formed a sense of right and wrong. For the rights and wrongs of children, as adults, we should not fuss over such erroneous behaviors of children because we are already adults. Children at this age almost all their actions can be considered as incorrect behavior. The coach advises parents to criticize appropriately and moderately, without criticizing angrily every time they see something wrong. Criticism and education should not exceed twice a day. Why is this? We all know that educational methods differ between the East and the West. In many countries, educational methods are relatively open, providing children with a relaxed growing environment and an attitude of allowing natural development. This educational method helps to cultivate a pure and candid character, but the downside is that it is difficult to instill a strong sense of right and wrong in children. China’s educational method emphasizes strict management. This educational model cultivates children with a strong sense of right and wrong, but the downside is that excessive criticism can affect a child's self-confidence. Due to frequent criticism and blame from parents, children may suppress their curiosity and innovative thinking. Excessive blame can also easily lead to rebelliousness or ignoring advice, making children more mischievous during outdoor training.
The coach suggests two points when criticizing children: First, focus on significant errors for teaching moments rather than pointing out every problem and avoid unnecessary criticism; Second, do not shout loudly at the child. Instead, calmly and softly explain the reasons. Such teaching allows the child to listen attentively and understand the parents' intentions. When children realize their mistakes, they will strive to improve. If you resort to loud scolding, the child might become confused and filled with fear, making it hard for them to listen to what you're saying.
The coach summarized that criticism should be done with proper methods: 1) Do not excessively criticize children. Constant criticism lowers their self-confidence, making them timid and unwilling to try new things; 2) Address issues promptly instead of waiting, as criticism outside the original context loses its educational value—children forget their faults once removed from the situation; 3) Criticize in a calm and low voice so the child truly listens and understands their wrongdoings, leading to voluntary corrections.
To give an analogy, if you were constantly criticized by others, how would you feel? You might also be troubled by feelings of resistance, lack of confidence, sadness, and timidity. Therefore, children's hearts are fragile, and they are more likely to develop pessimistic personality traits. Scientific criticism is the wise choice for parents. Parents should always keep this in mind!
Article reprinted from: http://www.blwh.cn/rz_more.asp?id=303