I Want Us to Be TogetherChapter OneAll stories have an ending, whether it be happy or sad. Just like all fallen leaves have a place to return to, the fragmented memories of fleeting years ultimately drift and scatter like autumn leaves... —— Fragmented Memories of Fleeting YearsChapter One: I met Wei when I was in high school. That year, I was 18, and so was Wei. We knew each other but never really talked. Wei was a shy young man, standing at 1.8 meters tall, wearing a deep blue tracksuit. When he walked, he would tiptoe, bouncing slightly, which was quite adorable. I was a peculiar girl, prone to emotional outbursts, inexplicably melancholic, and often crying for reasons unknown. Occasionally, I would burst into laughter recalling something. I liked making friends but also enjoyed solitude, staying alone in a quiet little room, listening to sorrowful love songs, reminiscing, or curling up in a small corner, hugging my knees in contemplation. I disliked turning on the lights, preferring the allure of the dark night. I liked letting my hair hang loose, its disarray masking my emotions. I loved sunshine, especially the warmth of winter sun, reminiscent of the taste of first love. I liked sitting by the window in class, basking in the sunlight streaming in, filling my body with warmth, lying comfortably as if flying. More often than not, I used my pen to express my sentiments. I was the editor-in-chief of the student council due to my decent writing skills. I remember during the new term's election for the student council, Wei also participated. Thinking back now, his appearance was quite amusing. He stood on the podium, bashfully lowering his head while I gazed at him, this shy young man who seemed destined to intertwine with my life somehow. "My name is Yang Wei, from... I joined this time because..." Before he could finish his sentence, he ran off the podium. Looking at him, his cheeks flushed red, I couldn't help but laugh. Wei's class was next to mine. Once, as I passed by, he stood on the balcony, gazing out the window. I went by quietly, sensing him looking back at me, yet I dared not turn around. The school assigned us students to check morning exercises daily. I stood at the back row, that day he stood beside me, wearing a white short-sleeve shirt and light blue jeans. When we weren't checking exercises, I also stood in the queue doing calisthenics. I'm short, only 1.58 meters, always standing at the front of the line, while his towering 1.8-meter frame stood to my left. On the surface, we ignored each other, but secretly, I was quite delighted, smiling faintly. Did he ever notice? Later, he never stood beside me again. I once saw Wei on my way to school. He stood by the roadside, and I just passed by him without wanting to go to school, wandering aimlessly on the streets. He was also strolling alone, our two lost souls never touching. It was the shyness of youth, let's call it that - the reserved love of post-80s. The last time I saw Wei was during the graduation photo session. He stood next to me, his tall stature prominent among the group, wearing a snug white short-sleeve shirt revealing firm muscles. Under the sunlight, his smile was radiant. For three years, we missed each other, leaving no trace of interaction in our memories, like parallel lines that never meet. Even if they occasionally intersected, they were forcibly separated. I thought we had no reason to meet, know, understand, or fall in love anymore. A fleeting encounter, lightly brushing past, how deep or shallow are the ripples beneath the lake? Who can truly understand? Chapter TwoMy cloverleaf partners, Xia and Lin, added vibrant colors to my high school life. We had different stories.Xia said she was a chrysanthemum, blooming in the desolate autumn, not lonely, still beautifully absorbing sunlight. The countless petals, like countless indiscernible moods, hard to fathom, hard to comprehend.Lin said she was an orchid blooming in the valley, quietly waiting for the rising sun, guarding the sunset. What will tomorrow's dawn bring? With what kind of heart should one face it, persistence or abandonment? And I am a lily, helplessly crying in the wind and rain, feeling unnoticed. Seasons change alternately, should the heart also change? In a season of decadence, should the heart also decay? Falling petals, are they dreams taking flight or hearts breaking? There is a kind of emotion like an iceberg, even the hottest sun cannot melt it. Thick layers of ice mixed with sharp icicles, close, yet it feels like fire and ice. There are people like ice, cold upon approach, yet one becomes addicted to the lingering warmth upon reflection. My relationship with Wei passed by like the friction between ice and fire. I dislike roses; their fiery red petals will eventually wither over time, but I like their fragrance, a scent etched in memory that won't fade easily. There's a perfume called 'waiting,' perhaps I am also waiting for someone, someone whose scent will evoke memories in me.The song "I Am Not An Angel" goes: I am the lily you abandoned, helplessly crying in the wind and rain, yet you cannot feel. Angels do not cry, they only shed tears for those they like. I cried, but I am not an angel.Chapter ThreeAfter graduating from high school, I enrolled in university, starting a strange journey in an unfamiliar city."Are you Li Ai? I am Shi Qing.""Yeah, where are you going?""** University, what about you?""What a coincidence, me too"...Shi Qing was my best friend in university. We were high school alumni, good friends with Xia. We'd seen each other before but never spoken. During more than two years of university life, we were almost inseparable except for class time. She was in the International Trade program, while I studied accounting computerization. ** University, I didn't particularly like it here. The ancient teaching buildings, the barren wild grass, stepping in for the first time gave me the immediate impression of gloominess. They say the school used to be a teacher's college, uninhabited for several years. Due to expansion, they bought this place, and we were the first batch of freshmen to move in. Many people cried when allocated to the dormitory, but not me. The road was chosen by myself, and I could only forge ahead bravely. This reminded me of William's Ancient City, the ancient castle enduring the passage of time, existing amidst the dust of history. The moss covering the walls gradually erodes, collapsing. Yet, the tenacious vines curving upwards don't wither like dry branches. They absorb fragile life, climbing upward ceaselessly. At sunset, the beauty reflected is solemn and dignified. I should climb like the ancient vine, unafraid of hardship. Days spent with Shi Qing made me very happy. On Sundays, we wandered aimlessly through the county town's streets, sipping sweet potato-flavored milk tea, munching on chicken leg pies. After evening study sessions, we sat on the playground, enjoying the cool breeze, sharing our personal stories. Shi Qing had a boyfriend in high school. They were good together, but the boy didn't get into his ideal university and stayed behind to retake exams. Their relationship grew distant as the boy prioritized his future over their love. Shi Qing is a good girl, always considering others. I once told her, "You're the best girl I've ever met." The final test, Shi Qing said she was at the train station asking him to pick her up, but he didn't come. From then on, Shi Qing truly gave up, though there was some reluctance. Love is so transient, no matter how sweet the words, how beautiful the togetherness, it ends for some reason. Thinking of my own love that ended before it began, what are you doing now? Occasionally, I still think of Wei, imagining how wonderful it would be if we were in the same city. Sometimes, walking alone on campus, I wonder if he's studying here too. Later, Shi Qing started dating Yi. It's said the boy is an old classmate from junior high, thus beginning a long-distance relationship. Shi Qing's love story shadows mine. Watching her joys and sorrows, watching her strive for a beautiful love, I only hope she finds happiness and isn't hurt again. So-called love, we only expect small moments of moving, small happiness, hoping someone understands us, someone stays by our side when we're sad, providing a solid shoulder to lean on. Shi Qing found the person she wanted, but where is mine? We pass each other like strangers without any words, many years later, passing through the same places. Please don't pass by like strangers.Chapter FourUniversity life continued monotonously, dormitory-classroom-canteen. Dull and boring days unfolded. November 10, 2008, was an important day in my life. That day, Shi Qing and I went online. As I was about to leave, a strange avatar started talking to me. "Are you Li Ai?" "Yes, who are you?" I typed hesitantly, staring at this unfamiliar QQ number. "I can't tell you who I am." "Why?" "I'm afraid you'll ignore me once you know." "Who are you? Tell me or I'll leave." I impatiently tapped the keyboard. I hate boring people most in life. "Yang Wei, do you remember me?" "Yang Wei?" My mind started replaying everything related to him sparsely. "It's you, I remember. We met at least three times in school." "I'm glad you still remember me." How could I not remember you? Your name, your presence, has deeply intertwined in my heart, entangled. "Hehe, I have to go, let's talk another time." "Can you give me your phone number?" Without hesitation, I typed in those 11 digits, the numbers linking our lives. November 10, 2011, Yang Wei's mood: Having food to eat, a place to sleep, and someone to love makes one happy. Happiness is the meeting of a wasted soul and love.Chapter FiveThree years of high school passed in the blink of an eye, never expecting to meet like this. Since then, Wei sent me text messages every day at seven. This became the part of my day I looked forward to the most, also the happiest. Life is fair to everyone. If the person you love hasn't arrived yet, if the person you're waiting for is the most important one in your life, please don't be sad or lose hope. Time hasn't come yet. Quietly wait, there will be someone who belongs completely to you."Ai, where are you studying now?" "**, and you?" "Retaking high school. After graduation, I went to Shenzhen and worked there for over a month. I learned many truths. Doing anything outside depends on yourself. I've learned independence, strength, and courage." From Wei's texts, I felt he had grown up, no longer the shy, timid boy. We talked a lot, the first time in three years we said so much. Many years later, we aren't strangers anymore. Wei didn't get into university and decided not to continue. But his parents persuaded him to retake exams, reluctantly following their wishes. Although Wei didn't explicitly confess to me, the continuous contact made us feel a connection. Even without saying much, the ambiguous feelings called "infatuation" had planted seeds in our hearts, growing uncontrollably with time, spreading brown spots. We've missed three years, unwilling to miss each other again. This hard-won affection, I want to cherish. Placing it carefully in the castle of my heart, I hope the scenery inside will be beautiful, captivating him for a lifetime. Such encounters make my small regrets rot away, allowing my small satisfaction to swell and fill. Such encounters are satisfying, bringing great happiness... Occasionally flipping through Wei's mood updates: "Actually, you don't know, it's because I care about you," (my QQ number) April 4, 2008.Chapter SixHappiness unexpectedly arrives, descending without warning. With Wei, my life seems infused with brilliant sunlight, warm and cozy. Although we don't know each other's appearances, each time I sketch his vague yet clear outline, I feel immensely happy. This is the joy of a young girl, without material desires. A small flutter of the heart shakes all cells of happiness. I've become accustomed to texting Wei every day at seven, accustomed to hearing his "goodnight" at ten, accustomed to having him by my side every day. Too many habits form, fearing sudden loss. I admit a sadness flows in my veins. I lack security and yearn for someone who can provide it. Is Wei that person? In the winter of 2008, I fell ill. The bitter Chinese medicine tasted as if it would churn my entire stomach. Each trip to the hospital, staring at the boiling medicine, filled me with reluctance. Preparing to drink, Wei called, "Hello, what are you doing?" "I'm drinking Chinese medicine at the hospital." "Is it bitter?" "Yes." "Then let me drink it for you..." Do you believe? There's indeed such a magical elixir. Thinking of him, he's right beside you, imagining his eyes. Drinking the medicine, you forget its taste. Wei's voice is magnetic, deeply attractive. No matter how bitter the medicine, it doesn't seem so anymore. It was the school's December 9th singing competition. My sign language performance prevented me from returning home. During rehearsals, my roommate said my pale face was frightening. I felt utterly weak, with no appetite. Finally, after the competition, I returned home, eager to see the boy who chatted with me every night. Wanting to meet but dreading the encounter, I didn't want to appear like this for our first meeting. Torn. But I couldn't resist wanting to see him. For our first meeting, I wore a black cotton coat, showing a white shirt collar, black jeans, and white sneakers. Simple and elegant. Wei's orange coat brightened the bleak winter day, paired with blue jeans and white sneakers, presenting a vivid image of a sunny boy. Seeing him, I couldn't help but smile. "Why are you smiling?" "No reason." Even this small gesture wasn't missed by him. Being tall has its drawbacks; he's 1.8m, I'm 1.58m. Haha - actually, since university, I had this notion, wanting to meet him and have a romance. Unexpectedly, fate was so kind to me, granting my wish. O(∩_∩)O haha~ We walked continuously through the vast ** city. Once, I heard Wei sing over the phone, "Did I promise you too much, or did I not give enough? You always have a million reasons, and I follow your feelings." A Zhang Xincheng song, "Overfire," moved me deeply. Never imagined the live version would captivate me even more. Gazing quietly at his face, his deep, bright eyes revealed threads of deep emotion. Wei said during New Year's at school, he sang the same song, "Overfire," thinking of the same person. For the first time, someone sang for me, solely for me. That feeling was like floating in a serene ocean, lying comfortably in a curved boat, blowing refreshing sea breezes, basking in warm sunlight, rocking gently... Compared to Wei, my singing was far inferior. Tone-deaf, I excelled at missing notes. This description suits me perfectly. Not self-deprecating, but truly, my singing is terrible. However, I love listening to music, especially melancholy songs. Sadness is the best element to stir emotions. A love song tells a story. When the music ends and people disperse, who cares who cared more? Listening to music is appreciating a melody, more so an atmosphere, empathizing with the singer's joys and sorrows. Classic old songs widely sung resonate with listeners' similar experiences, awakening familiar feelings. We parted ways reluctantly in the evening. Back home, I received Wei's message. "Ai, you look prettier than before. Today, dressed in black, you resemble a lily flower." This was Wei's first compliment to me. Or rather, a compliment. "Ai, walk closer to the inside when walking. Walking in the middle of the road is dangerous." This was Wei's first genuine concern for me.Chapter SevenWhat is love? Love is a feeling of sudden excitement. Last time seeing Wei, he embodied a sunny big brother style, this time he presented a mature gentleman version. A casual black jacket with a collared neckline, a deep purple wool sweater, tight black jeans, tousled medium-length hair, double eyelids, large eyes, a high nose bridge, rosy thin lips – his handsomeness defies description! I'm such a fan! Wei said he'd never seen me wear a skirt, so I specially bought a beige step skirt, paired with a beige turned-down collar fitted top, and deep beige boots. We went on a date. Our second date! We agreed to take large stickers together. To preserve our best moments. Wei and I seemed somewhat estranged. Our heads didn't know how to get close. This was Wei's first time taking large stickers, his first photo with me. Amidst bustling streets, honking cars interrupted our stroll as I pulled his sleeve running across the road. Wei turned around, holding my hand softly, barely gripping, sending electric shocks through my fingers to my arms, making my heart pound. My hand, unsure what to do, trembled slightly. Crossing the street, I shyly lowered my head, withdrawing my hand. On the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, the colorful lanterns illuminated the black night, transforming the originally quiet night into one filled with laughter and joy. Crowds lined the streets admiring the colorful lanterns – lions rolling embroidered balls, shepherds riding oxen, Chang'e embracing jade rabbits... Street vendors waved glowing sticks, flashing brightly. "Let me buy you one to hang around your neck?" Wei suggested. "No way, I'm too old for that!" What a beautiful night, beautiful mood, beautiful first love. That feeling of sudden excitement lingered in my heart – my first love. Watching our intimate large sticker photos, using the most cliché phrase, my heart blossomed with joy! Happiness blooms like flowers!Chapter EightLiking someone means silently placing them in your heart. Unable to express it, yet repeating and calling out their name thousands of times in your heart. In the tranquil night, Wei and I strolled leisurely, sucking on apple-flavored lollipops – my favorite. The crisp sweetness mirrored Wei's affection for me, few words needed, yet stirring deep emotions with just a loving glance. Wei, your smile is my greatest happiness. In the private room of the internet cafe, we watched movies. Wei's chest rested against my back, warm and comforting. This was our first time so closely leaning on each other. My QQ flashed with updates, "Happy Valentine's Day in advance! Take care of my seatmate, blessings to you both!" It was Zhi's blessing for us. Receiving his friend's blessing made me incredibly happy. We will be happy, surely. After finishing the movie, it was already 1 a.m., and my eyelids began to droop involuntarily. A single bed-like soft recliner lay quietly. Wei and I lay silently, him on the left, me on the right. I turned on my side, facing away from him. This awkward position reflected