In the casino, a woman couldn't decide which number to bet on the roulette machine. Helplessly, she asked a young and handsome man standing beside her for advice. The man suggested: "Choose your age." After hearing this, the woman bit her lip and thought for a moment, then placed 1000 yuan on "24". The ball in the roulette wheel started rolling and eventually stopped at "32". Upon seeing this, the woman let out a wail and fainted.
While sleeping, the wife woke up her husband and asked if they could change positions. The husband agreed and moved over. Not long after, the wife said again: "Husband, I want to switch back." Without a word, the husband moved back again. Less than five minutes later, the wife woke him up again and wanted to switch positions! The husband became angry: "Are you annoyed? Why are you switching back and forth!" The wife was even angrier and shouted: "Are you like Dayu controlling the flood? You passed by your home three times without entering!"
The director's favorite female secretary had no mistakes at work but was fired by the director. A friend asked why? The director said: "A few days ago, it was my birthday, she invited me to her house. She especially told me that her husband was on a business trip. After entering, she made me stay in the living room, then mysteriously said she would go to the bedroom first and let me enter after five minutes."
The friend eagerly asked: "Then what happened...?" The director angrily said: "After I pushed open the bedroom door, I was immediately scared unconscious. All the colleagues in the unit were crowded in the bedroom holding candles and singing 'Happy Birthday' together." The friend sighed in relief and said: "That's not a big deal, it's a good idea!" The director angrily said: "It's still a good idea? I went in naked!"
In a place where it hadn't rained for a long time, the villagers helplessly invited a wizard to calculate when it would rain. After calculating for a while, the wizard wrote a note and said, "Open it when it rains." After more than ten days, it finally rained heavily. The villagers happily remembered the wizard's note and opened it. It read: "Today is a heavy rain day." The villagers became even more devoted to the wizard...
There was a Chinese doctor working in an African tribe. One day, the local chief angrily came to him and said: "Why does one of my wives give birth to a child with yellow skin!" The doctor was very nervous, thought for a moment, and looked at the chief and said: "Look at that sheep outside, all the other sheep are white, only it is black, and it seems a bit like..." The chief hastily interrupted him, took out a gun and pointed it at the doctor, saying: "As long as you don't tell anyone, the matter between you and my wife will be settled."
A loyal Russian communist died, and God didn't want to accept the soul of an atheist in heaven, so he sent him to hell. A month later, Yama ran sweating and said: "You'd better take that person away quickly, he has almost developed all my little ghosts into Young Pioneers!" So God accepted him.
Another month later, Yama gleefully asked God: "How is that Russian communist doing?" God said: "First, call me comrade."
The bishop heard that he might fall into a pre-set trap set by the press upon arriving in New York, so he was particularly cautious. At the airport, a journalist asked him right away: "Do you want to go to the nightclub?" The bishop wanted to avoid this question, so he smiled and counter-asked: "Are there nightclubs in New York?" The next morning, the newspaper headline of this meeting read: "The Bishop's first question after getting off the plane: 'Are there nightclubs in New York?'"
Believer: "God! How long is ten million centuries for you!?!"
God: "One second!"
Believer: "Then how about ten million dollars?"
God: "That's just one cent."
Believer: "Then please give me one cent!!"
God: "Just wait a second here!"
Two friends went mountain climbing. One accidentally fell down a 60-meter cliff. His friend shouted loudly from above: "John, are you still alive??"
"Still alive, but both arms are broken..."
"Just hold on, we'll throw the rope down to save you!"
The rope was thrown down, and John's friend began pulling him up. Halfway through, his friend suddenly remembered and asked: "John, aren't both your arms broken? Then what are you using to hold onto the rope?"
"Using my teeth," John replied...
1. Drawing all over the walls at home.
Foreign children: This is an expression of artistic talent, worthy of encouragement.
When we were kids: A severe beating.
2. Going home alone when parents were late picking them up after school.
Foreign children: This shows exploratory spirit, worthy of encouragement.
When we were kids: A severe beating.
3. Coming home dirty and covered in mud.
Foreign children: This is the nature of children, worthy of encouragement.
When we were kids: A severe beating.
4. Bringing a member of the opposite sex home to play and being discovered by parents.
Foreign children: Learning communication with the opposite sex at such an early age, worthy of encouragement.
When we were kids: A severe beating.
5. Getting poor exam results.
Foreign children: Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, worthy of encouragement.
When we were kids: A severe beating.
6. Fighting with other children outside.
Foreign children: Children, being naive is normal.
When we were kids: A severe beating.
7. Dropping food everywhere during meals.
Foreign children: Tell them not to waste, pick it up and eat it.
When we were kids: A severe beating.
8. Being obsessed with certain hobbies, neglecting sleep and meals.
Foreign children: Having more hobbies is a good thing, worthy of encouragement.
When we were kids: A severe beating.
9. Reading extracurricular books affecting rest.
Foreign children: Don't disturb the child's focus, worthy of encouragement.
When we were kids: A severe beating.
10. Disagreeing with parents and arguing.
Foreign children: Discuss fairly, everyone expresses their own views.
When we were kids: A severe beating, updating latest chapters. We absolutely are not servile to foreigners, but our education methods indeed need improvement.
However, looking back, although we were constantly beaten since childhood, we still grew up strong and healthy.
Junior: Senior, do you want to see my ** pictures?
Senior: Let's take a look then.
Junior: Do you really want to see them, Senior?
Senior: Let's take a look then.
Junior: As expected, seniors are all lewd men who can't control themselves...
Junior: Senior, do you want to see my ** pictures?
Senior: Let's take a look then.
Junior: Do you really want to see them, Senior?
Senior: Ah? Then let's not look...
Junior: As expected, seniors are all lewd men who have the heart but not the courage...
Junior: Senior, do you want to see my ** pictures?
Senior: I don't want to see them.
Junior: Are you sure you don't want to see them, Senior?
Senior: Yes, I really don't want to see them.
Junior: As expected, seniors are all indecisive lewd men...
Junior: Senior, do you want to see my ** pictures?
Senior: I don't want to see them.
Junior: Are you sure you don't want to see them, Senior?
Senior: Really, I don't want to see them.
Junior: As expected, seniors are all a bunch of gay men...
Junior: Senior, do you want to see my ** pictures?
Senior: ...
Junior: Speak up, Senior!
Senior: Girl, please let me live!