5. (Transfer) If only I had been more humble back then, would happiness have been closer?
Novel: The Supreme World | Author: Chao Ge De Ming Zi | Category: Urban Romance
A Pisces woman may like many people for a long time, but she only truly loves two people in her life. I am a Pisces woman, and I have someone I deeply love. After three years, I still love him. We liked each other, but we never ended up together. We were both stubborn children. We hurt each other and eventually became strangers, but because we loved, our hearts ache. He was the first person I ever loved, but he never knew I loved him. Some feelings buried deep within become numb over time, but sometimes recalling that pain brings it all back. So, if my choice back then had been different, what would the result be now? I wrote our story into words. I loved.
Today is February 15th. Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and once again, I am alone. Pisces women can be quite oblivious, and this seems to describe me well. Before junior high school, no one had ever confessed to me, let alone dated me. As a girl, I found this very frustrating until a friend told me, "Do you think there aren't people who like you? Every time they try to approach you, you unknowingly reject them. We thought you were just proud." That’s when I realized how oblivious I had been. I was sixteen when I met him; he was thirteen. At sixteen, I graduated from junior high school and got accepted into my ideal high school—a double celebration. That summer, I applied for my QQ account, starting my online life. A stranger with the username "Infatuation" requested to add me as a friend that summer. I spent the entire summer chatting with this stranger named "Infatuation," completely engrossed, hilariously not knowing who he was or even his name. Strangely enough, I grew accustomed to his presence, accustomed to the shaking notifications he sent while I played games, accustomed to the VIP ringtone he set for me when he came online. In the end, letting go was the final act of affection, unwilling to have a sea between us on the same bed. When he went offline, Zhang Yuezhen's song "If You Love Me, Don't Go" played—"If you say you don't love me, don't let those words come out of your mouth, give me a little more tenderness." And when he sent messages, Faye Wong's "Your Smile" echoed—"Too many happy reports, piecing together the beauty of love." Habits are terrifying, so much so that it took me a long time afterward to break free from the habits formed by him.
"Sister, I like you." On a weekend, I was studying at school and hanging QQ on my phone. His confession came suddenly, leaving me bewildered. It was the first time anyone had so directly expressed their liking for me. Flustered, I replied that I didn't like age-gap romances and quickly logged off. That night, after returning home, I went online incognito and discovered he had commented on my profile with "My favorite person." I hastily deleted it. That night, we were both online until twelve o'clock. He stayed online the whole time while I remained invisible, repeatedly listening to "Letting Go," "If You Love Me, Don't Go," and "Your Smile."
For a week, I didn't go online. When I did log back in, I saw he had left seven comments on my profile, one each day, all expressing his love for me. I knew I couldn't accept an online relationship, especially an age-gap romance, so I decided to stop everything before I fell too deep. I deleted all his comments, added him to my blacklist, and then deleted him entirely.
When I logged back in, he requested to add me as a friend again. He said, "Why did you block me?" He said, "I really like you." He said, "Do you remember me?" He said, "Let's date..."
This is a short novel, written by a young girl today. I think it's great. Novels come from life but rise above it. Maybe long ago, you also experienced such unique infatuations. But matters of the heart aren't about whether you've gotten used to me and I've gotten used to you; that doesn't mean you'll end up together. The shadows in life remain and continue, and we grope forward, neither being humble nor hasty, allowing happiness to come closer.
Article reprinted from: http://www.bdxuan.com/files/article/html/7/7046/2228419.html