I really admire myself for being able to say such harsh words, even though I feel an overwhelming heartache! Maybe this is just my personality, preferring proud solitude over humble compromise. This is true in work, life, and love. Let the past happiness mock my sadness, let the pain of the bite marks be like bugs gnawing at my bones! Ha, truly a typical Cancer! Though I miss her so much, every day from waking up, working, eating, surfing the net, to resting, I'm always thinking about what she's doing at this moment? Is she thinking about me too? Sometimes, I flip through our old QQ messages, text messages, and a few photos we have, it's like recalling scene after scene of a movie, making my heart ache. It seems that once a person gets used to missing someone, it's hard to quit, just like a drug addiction. But why, even when she calls or texts me, am I still so cruel? I hate myself! Must there be such chaos in one's heart before it feels satisfying, before it feels willing? Thinking about it, maybe this is the best result. A love with no future is better ended early. I'd rather let her hate me than see her suffer later! But why do I still feel so reluctant and attached? Some people say parallel lines are the scariest, but I think intersecting lines are the scariest - they had an intersection, yet will eventually drift away from each other, getting farther and farther apart. Today, she said on QQ that I'm heartless, when I see her online, I go offline. But she doesn't know, I'm actually just invisible. Because I know, even if both of us are online, neither would take the initiative to speak first, so I might as well stay invisible. This way, even if I silently watch her avatar, I still feel warmth in my heart, until her avatar turns gray, until I silently say goodnight to her in my heart: Goodnight, baby! Leave a corner in my heart for her, let others not come in, and I don't want to touch it either. I know when I look back, those sweet scenes seem laughable, those laughter and joy can make me shed tears. Therefore, I dare not look back at everything that has happened, afraid that I won't find the way back. Who was who's visible when invisible, who was who's online reminder, who was who's special concern, it's scary how people around you can disappear without a sound one day! Now I finally understand, every relationship, as long as it's in your heart, is already eternal. But just one word "once" covers so many stories... Left atrium, right tooth mark!