After the Mid-Autumn Festival, the New Year will be coming soon, which means this year will also end quickly! How time flies!
Once again, I spent the Mid-Autumn Festival alone. I don't know if it's my fault. In the past, spending the festival alone was out of helplessness because the holiday was only one or two days, and I couldn't reunite with my family far away. However, this year I had a 7-day holiday, so what? Isn't it still me spending it alone? It really hurts to think about it. Now, I don't have the courage to see them. It's not that I don't want to spend the Mid-Autumn Festival with them; I do want to! Is there anyone in this world who doesn't want to spend the Mid-Autumn Festival with their family? There are just too many helplessnesses. I truly regret it because every time they place more hope on me, I disappoint them even more. Because their "silly boy" no longer exists! From a certain perspective, he is already dead.
Thinking about the past days really hurts, especially when I think about my mother who loves me the most. I love her, forever until I die. I've brought disappointment to my family time and time again, but I feel the most sorry for my mom because since high school, she hasn't seen me bring home the first-place results anymore. She also hasn't said those words to me: "Silly boy, you're really a bit silly, how can a silly boy get first place?" After that, she would laugh happily. But now, I never see her laugh like that again. Instead, she faces me with worried expressions, worrying about my future, worrying whether her "silly boy" has changed. When I remember the last thing I said to her before leaving, she regained confidence and hope in me! Once again, I saw her "silly" smile. That sentence was: "Mom! Don't worry, in three years, I'll come back with achievements, and I won't disappoint you anymore, Mom! I'm really sorry to you before!" (At that moment, I cried. Ask anyone in this world, who among men would cry? You could beat me to death, and I wouldn't cry, except out of shame and guilt towards my mom! Because I really don't deserve her!) Thinking about that scene now, my eyes still get moist!
As my mom grows older day by day, I cannot bring her much happiness. I've even thought of ending my life, but what would be the consequence? Wouldn't it make her even sadder? So, I must bravely live on, carve out my own path, and take away the worried face my mom shows for me! Bring her happiness! Restore her previous "silly" smile! Thinking about how many more years my mom has to wait and work hard for me, I am filled with deep pain (49 "goods", because my mom is already 49 years old!)!
In others' eyes, I am a very filial son, but does my inner self match that perception? Am I truly filial? Have I ever been filial? These self-questions stir up waves of pain in my heart! On the surface, I appear very filial, but have I ever truly made them happy? Maybe there were times, but those were all before high school. Are there any such moments now? No! Because studying in an elite middle school but having to attend a third-rate university deeply disappoints them. The despair and shock I've brought them are beyond remedy. The only thing I can do now is to bring good results back home, which is the only thing I can do. Their faces during my failures, I cannot describe, because I have deeply hurt them, more painful than ten thousand cuts on their bodies! Faced with their pain, what am I to do? I just want to find a deserted place and... ...
Another Mid-Autumn Festival has arrived. May all mothers around the world be happy! May all wanderers eventually reunite with their families! Do not wander aimlessly anymore. Go back and gather with your family! Otherwise, you will regret it. Regardless of when, they always miss you, no matter how deeply you've hurt them!
Regardless of which mother, on the day of the Mid-Autumn Festival, what she wants to see most is certainly her children!
I hope tonight's moon will be rounder and brighter! Mother! Happy Mid-Autumn Festival! Mom! I think of you every moment, especially tonight! I know you must also be looking at the moon in the sky thinking of me! Tonight, I won't go anywhere, I will just look at the moon in the sky waiting for you, thinking of you! Mom, wait for me to bring back your previous "silly" smile!
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