The Three Steps to a Happy Marriage
By Ai Yan Shuang Fei
For a marriage to be happy and long-lasting, and for couples to grow old together, three crucial steps must be taken, with no room for major issues in any of them.
Step One: Whether the marriage begins depends on whether the courtship can proceed smoothly (seriously dating)
Without earnest courtship, there will not be a serious marriage. A lackadaisical courtship is merely an exercise for emotions, unsuitable for leading into marriage; otherwise, it will only bring about a casual marriage, inevitably sowing the seeds of misfortune. Courtship is the condition for marriage; treating marriage well starts with treating love well. The best reward for love is marriage. Don't always say that marriage is the grave of love; within the tomb of marriage, perhaps lies the key to happiness heaven. If one cannot even have a proper courtship, one doesn't even have the chance to enter the grave. Love fully during courtship, as it is brief yet exceptionally beautiful. Without a good courtship, how can one talk about marriage? Courageously engage in a transcendent courtship, then hand-in-hand step into the ordinary marriage.
Step Two: Whether the marriage continues depends on whether love can timely incorporate family affection to stabilize the relationship (overcoming the seven-year itch)
Perhaps starting a marriage isn't too difficult, but maintaining it is. Can the results of love won through courtship be sustained? The beginning of marriage cannot be separated from love, but relying solely on love is evidently insufficient for its continuation and stability. Courtship may be briefly beautiful, like a flash of lightning; however, marriage must be truly plain, akin to a trickle of water flowing endlessly. For marriage to continue, family affection must gradually blend into love, a process that usually takes around seven years, known as the "seven-year itch." Of course, this is just a concept; some may experience it sooner, others later. More importantly, it marks a turning point—before this, love outweighs family affection, and after, family affection outweighs love. To successfully overcome this hurdle, more family affection must be integrated into love; otherwise, the trickle of water will find it hard to flow continuously.
Step Three: Whether the marriage can last depends on whether the couple is dedicated to nurturing their relationship (wholeheartedly living a good life)
After overcoming the seven-year itch, the marriage has a relatively solid foundation, but uncertainties still exist. Establishing a marriage is easy, stabilizing it is difficult, and sustaining it is even harder. Entering marriage from courtship is just the beginning; then overcoming the so-called seven-year itch merely stabilizes the marriage. For the marriage to endure and for the couple to hold hands until old age, simply integrating love with family affection is insufficient—it also requires careful management. Dedication is an attitude, and management is a form of wisdom. Without dedication, even the best-established relationships can be lost, and without management, even the best marriages can fall apart.