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1. Stone asked: Should I find someone I love to be my wife? Or should I find someone who loves me to be my wife?
Buddha smiled and said: The answer to this question is actually in your own heart. Over the years, has it been the person you love or the person who loves you that made you feel alive, gave you a sense of fulfillment, and kept you moving forward?
Stone also smiled: But my friends all advise me to find a girl who loves me to be my wife.
Buddha said: If that were true, your whole life would be destined to just get by. You are accustomed to perfecting yourself in the process of pursuing love. If you no longer pursue someone you love, the steps towards self-perfection will also stop.
Stone interrupted Buddha: So if I pursue the person I love, wouldn't it...
Buddha said: Since she is the one you love the most, making her happy and joyful is seen as the greatest happiness of your life. Therefore, you will continue to strive for her to live more happily and joyfully. Happiness and joy have no limits, so your efforts will also have no limits, and will never stop.
Stone said: Then isn't my life very hard?
Buddha said: After all these years, do you think you've lived a hard life?
Stone shook his head and laughed again.
2. Stone asked: If that's the case, then shouldn't I treat those who love me well?
Buddha shook his head and said: Do you need the person you love to treat you well?
Stone smiled bitterly: I guess I don't need it.
Buddha said: Tell me why.
Stone said: My requirements for love are rather strict. I don't want it mixed with pity or sympathy. I demand that she truly loves me from the bottom of her heart. Although pity, sympathy, tolerance, and humility are also kinds of love, they bring a certain kind of happiness, but they are what I despise. If her love for me is mixed with these, I'd rather she ignore me, or even directly reject my affection while I still have time to step back, because emotions can only make one sink deeper. Disappointment is much more real than hope, because the pain of disappointment is momentary, while the pain of hope is endless.
Buddha laughed: Very good, you've already given the answer!
3. Stone asked: Why did I think the girl I loved before was the most beautiful? And now when I love another girl, I often find girls prettier than her?
Buddha asked: Can you be sure that you really love her, and that you are the one who loves her the most in the world?
Stone replied without hesitation: Of course!
Buddha said: Congratulations. Your love for her is mature, rational, sincere, and profound.
Stone was somewhat surprised: Oh?
Buddha continued: She is not the most beautiful in the world, and even when you loved her so much, you clearly knew this fact. But you still loved her so deeply because you don't just love her youth and beauty. Remember, time flies and beauty fades, but your love for her has surpassed these surface things, transcending time. You love her entire being, especially her unique inner essence.
Stone couldn't help but say: Yes, I indeed love her purity and kindness, and cherish her childlike nature.
Buddha smiled: Any test of time means nothing to your love.
4. Stone asked: Why is it that later on, when we're together, the passion diminishes and more becomes mutual dependence?
Buddha said: It's because deep down inside, your love has turned into familial love...
Stone scratched his head: Familial love?
Buddha continued: When love reaches a certain level, it unconsciously transforms into familial love. You will gradually see her as a part of your life. This way, you'll have more tolerance and understanding. Only familial love is something predetermined since birth, something you have no choice over. Later on, all you can do is adapt to this familial love. No matter how noble your birth, you must unconditionally accept them and take responsibility for them and be good to them.
Stone thought about it and nodded: Familial love is indeed like that.
Buddha smiled: Love begins because of mutual admiration, continues because of a heartbeat, and leads to marriage because neither can live without the other. But more importantly, it takes tolerance, understanding, habit, and adaptation to spend a lifetime hand in hand.
Stone fell silent: So love is also a kind of fate.
5. Stone asked: In college, I once met a girl. At that time, I loved her very much, but she didn't love me at that time. But now she loves me, and I seem to have lost the feelings I used to have, or perhaps I no longer love her. Why does this happen?
Buddha asked: Can you make yourself never think of her again from now on?
Stone pondered for a while: I think I can't, because over these years, I always intentionally or unintentionally think of her. Or when classmates gather and talk about her news, I pay extraordinary attention; when I receive her letters or calls, my heart beats strangely and anxiously. The reason I've been single for so many years is because I haven't forgotten her, or I've been using her as a standard to look for my future girlfriend. But now, I really don't like her anymore.
Buddha sighed deeply: Although you look the same on the outside now as you did in the past, your heart has gone through a long journey, or you might say you've tied a knot of reality and reason in your love. You don't like her anymore just because of this knot in your heart. Knots need to be untied by yourself. Remember, five hundred turns of the head in a previous life result in a fleeting encounter in this life. People always have to give and take. As for how to give and take, it's up to you to decide. No one can help you.
Stone didn't say anything anymore, he just looked quietly towards the distance. Originally, Buddha wasn't omnipotent either...
6. Stone asked: In such an era, in such a society, is it worth it for someone like me to struggle so hard to love someone?
Buddha said: What do you think?
Stone thought about it, but had no words to respond.
Buddha was silent for a while, and finally spoke again: Since the path was chosen by yourself, you cannot blame heaven or earth. You can only be without regret.
Stone sighed deeply. Stone knew he understood. He looked at Buddha with a resolute gaze, Lu Shaojie, and didn't say anything else.