1. A soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a landmine during combat? The company commander was very angry: *, what can you do? Pay for the damages if it's broken.
2. After a long time of thinking about your message, I am heartbroken and thought about dying: I once cut my wrist with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, jumped off a building with a parachute, and hanged myself with noodles, but I didn't die. So why don't you just take me out for a meal and let me eat to my heart's content.
3. If you feel emotionally cold, please call me! Press 1 for emotions, press 2 for work, press 3 for life, press 5 to set me up with someone, directly tell me if you want to treat me to a meal, and hang up if you want to borrow money from me.
4. The giraffe married the monkey, but after a year, the giraffe requested a divorce: I can't take this jumping around lifestyle anymore! The monkey got angry: Divorce then! Who has ever seen kissing requiring climbing a tree!
5. The fish said: "I keep my eyes open all the time because I don't want to leave your side." The water said: "I flow tirelessly all day because I want to surround you and hold you tightly." The pot said: "You're both almost cooked, stop talking so much nonsense."