1. A man went to buy a car, which cost 100,000 yuan, but he only brought 99,998 yuan, just 2 yuan short! Suddenly, he saw a beggar at the door and said to him, "Please give me 2 yuan, I want to buy a car!" After hearing this, the beggar generously took out 4 yuan and handed it over, saying, "Buy one for me too."
2. There are two kinds of emotions that are hardest to come by in this world: one is when a man who always knows only how to cry sheds blood for you. The second kind is when a man who only knows how to shed blood cries for you.
3. Learn these things: 1. Others may be arrogant with their talent, but you should not disdain learning from others. 2. Others may show off their eloquence, but you should think more and speak cautiously. 3. Others may flaunt their abilities, but you should hide your light and bide your time. 4. Others may fight and quarrel, but you should stay away from conflicts. 5. Others may act straightforwardly, but you should know how to be flexible. 6. Others may fight fiercely for something, but you should advance by retreating. 7. Others may find it hard to let go, but you should be able to bend and stretch. 8. Others may be full of ambition, but you should not show off or boast. Being low-key is both an attitude and a form of wisdom!
4. If one day, you say you miss me, I will tell you: It's too late...
5. Giving up is a kind of wisdom, and flaws are a form of grace: When you have six apples, you should give five of them to others to eat. On the surface, you lose five apples, but in fact, you gain the friendship and goodwill of five people. When others have other fruits, they will certainly share them with you, and you will get an orange, a pear, and in the end, you might get five different kinds of fruit, five different tastes, five different colors, and the friendship of five people.
6. Why don't you say "I want to pursue you" instead of asking "Do you have a boyfriend?" Why don't you say "I'm worried about you" instead of asking "Why haven't you gone home yet?" Why don't you say "Do you miss me?" instead of asking "What are you doing?" Why don't you say "It's because I love you" instead of saying "Do you think I care?" Why don't you say "I can't live without you" instead of asking "Will you leave me?"
7. There are only three days in life: yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Those who live in the past are confused; those who live for the future are waiting; those who live in the present are the most down-to-earth. You can never predict whether an accident or tomorrow will come first, so all we can do is make the greatest effort to live well today. Remember: Today is always the tomorrow that the people who died yesterday longed for.
8. A person often has the same dream, always realizing in the dream that he has discovered a great secret of the world, but wakes up and forgets everything. Finally, one day, he decides to dig out this secret, so he puts paper and pen beside his pillow, then goes to bed. When he dreams again, he takes advantage of the semi-conscious state to write down the world's secret. When he wakes up, he sees written on the paper: "If the banana is big, then the banana peel is also big!"
9. If one day we lose our memory and forget what we wanted. If one day we lose our voice and cannot express ourselves. If one day we go blind and can no longer see. If one day we lose something and can never get it back. If one day we break our promise and are no longer worthy of trust. If one day we cannot convey, tolerate, pour out, extricate ourselves, or act recklessly... What do we have left?
10.❶ I am not your little raccoon, I can't bring you endless joy. ❷ Life is short, be sexy. ❸ Either endure or be ruthless. ❹ Upper couplet: Perhaps maybe roughly is; Lower couplet: However not necessarily not necessarily. ❺ Some things don't need arguing about, outwardly comply but secretly resist. ❻ Dare to admit mistakes, firmly refuse to change. ❼ Men are dogs, whoever has the skill leads them away. ❽ Vows are just temporary slips of speech.
11. Don't take shortcuts, otherwise you'll run in vain; don't detour, otherwise you'll be late; don't walk the wrong path, otherwise you'll end up in jail; don't walk the dark path, otherwise you'll get stabbed; don't just desire, efforts cannot be less; don't rush to demand, you must avoid impatience; don't ask for returns, what should come naturally will come; don't be anxious to get, peace of mind means no troubles; don't be afraid of being laughed at, see who laughs the longest; don't pretend to know, if you don't understand, seek advice.
12. In junior high school, during one exam, because I didn't review beforehand, during the history test, I found most of the questions I couldn't answer, so I got up and left the examination room. The teacher was very surprised, and I said: We teenagers should focus more on the future...
13. Cabbage, radish, kelp, vermicelli, and tofu happily went to a restaurant. Someone asked: Why are you going? "To eat hot pot!" That person asked further: Who is treating? "Lamb meat!"
14. Laifu spent great effort writing a love letter to the girl he liked. He added at the end: "I've finished answering this test paper, now I wait for your admission notice!!!" Not long after, the reply came, with only four words: "Quota is full." Laifu wasn't discouraged, he sent another letter: "Can I sign up for the next round?" This time, the reply was: "Wait until the next term starts!"
15. Adai came to the restaurant: "Give me a meat roll, some bread, and a nice word." When the waiter served the meat roll and bread, Adai asked: "Where's my nice word?" The waiter whispered: "Don't eat this meat roll!"
16. Woman: "I already have a boyfriend." Man: "I don't mind, I still like you." Bystanders commented: "What a heartless man." Man: "I already have a girlfriend." Woman: "I don't mind, I still like you." Bystanders commented: "Tsk! Shameless third wheel."
17. We are not perfect people, but we need to accept our imperfect selves. In loneliness, give yourself comfort; in solitude, give yourself warmth. Learn to be independent,告别dependence, and say goodbye to the fragile version of yourself. Life is not always warm, and the road of life is not always smooth, but as long as you have confidence in yourself, know your worth, and know how to protect yourself, you can face all the imperfections in the world with equanimity.
18. People must travel, especially women. For a woman, having experience is very important. The more you see, the broader your horizons will be, and it will affect your views on many things. Travel broadens your horizons, especially for women, it will give you more confidence and prevent you from losing your way in the material world.
19. I've been to your world, unfortunately, I was just passing through; you've settled into my heart, unfortunately, I can't seem to let go. I am your passerby, but you have become the permanent guest in my heart... I have no right to judge why you treat me so poorly.
20. Workplace three laws: Either endure! Or be ruthless! Or quit!
21. Seven sentences that make you see through life: 1. The past won't return, and even if it does, it won't be perfect. 2. If you're not strong, who would care about your weakness? 3. With a complex heart, look at a complex life, walk a complex road. 4. Use an indifferent attitude to live a contented life. 5. Occasionally reminiscing about the past makes me feel my life is regressing. 6. Waiting, hoping, failing, life is just so complicated. 7. It's not that we are incompatible, it's just that you suit each other better.
22. There were five eggs in the fridge. The first egg said to the second egg: "Hey, look, the fifth egg has hair, how scary!" The second egg said to the third egg: "Hey, look, the fifth egg has hair, how terrible!" The third egg said to the fourth egg: "Hey, look, the fifth egg has hair..." The fifth egg heard and shouted: "Get lost! I'm a kiwi fruit!"
23. Life has no "if," only results and consequences. People's misfortune may also be caused by themselves delaying opportunities. Being too attached to one person, one emotion, one thing, how much youth can you afford to waste...
24. Falling in love is too late, getting married is too early; spending money isn't there, earning money is too hard; traveling isn't interesting, working hasn't graduated yet; hanging out with the post-80s generation feels too young, with the post-90s generation feels too old... Is this you?
25. A hunter carrying a gun went to hunt rabbits. Suddenly, a black bear jumped out. Before the hunter could shoot, the bear pounced on him. Half an hour later, the bear was still on top of the hunter. The hunter was puzzled: "What's going on?" Suddenly, he saw a piece of cloth around the bear's neck, which read: "Hug hug bear."
26. Young man: "Sir, I really hope I can celebrate your 99th birthday next year." Elderly man: "Young man, you're so young and strong, living till next year shouldn't be a problem."
27. There will always be someone who, perhaps they are excellent and handsome; or maybe they have nothing, and aren't good-looking, yet we still love them. We are willing to pay for them, wait for them, and even lose ourselves for them. During our naive times, there will always be someone who makes us suffer for years. Eventually, we realize, this person is just average, it's our "stubbornness" that loves them.
28. Human worries boil down to 12 words: Can't let go, can't think clearly, can't see through, can't forget.
29. If you have 1 million, buy a house, to preserve our love; if you have 100 thousand, buy a car, to drive our love; if you have 10 thousand, buy a diamond ring, to witness our love; if you have 0.1 thousand, go on a trip, to let our love fly; if you have 0.01 thousand, have a candlelight dinner, to romanticize our love; if you have 0.001 thousand, then buy a bottle of water, to irrigate our love.
30. Why is it that when men wear thermal underwear on the street they are considered hooligans, but when women wear them they are considered stockings?? Why is it that when men wear boxer shorts on the street it's abnormal, but when women wear them they are considered hot pants?? Why is it that when men wear tank tops on the street they are called muscle men, but when women wear them they are considered strapless tops?? Why?? Why!!
31. Three things in life: Learn to close doors, learn to calculate, learn to let go. Learn to say three sentences: "Never mind!", "No problem!", "It will pass!" Learn three joys: Joy in helping others, joy in contentment, joy in success. Learn three don'ts: Don't punish yourself with others' faults, don't punish others with your own mistakes, don't punish yourself with your own errors. Three regrets in life: One regret is that the crabapple has no fragrance, the second regret is that the shad has too many bones, the third regret is that the Dream of Red Mansions is unfinished.
32. Don't say "I love you" unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it.
33. Love is a rumor we all believe in.
34. Several very dominant phrases, which ones do you like? 1. You're not allowed to bear sadness alone, are my shoulders just for decoration? 2. You're not allowed to stay up late, staying up is tiring, do you understand? You'll tire me out if you're tired. 3. You're not allowed to wake up early, wait until I prepare breakfast and serve it before you get up, don't laugh at me for being upside down. 4. You're not allowed to fantasize, my heart is only big enough for you. 5. You're not allowed to be the happiest person in the world, because with you, I am the happiest.
35. ❶Life is like a pressure cooker. When the pressure gets too high, you cook yourself. ❷ Do you think I'll watch you go to your death? Absolutely not, I'll close my eyes. ❸ The farthest distance in the world is not between north and south, but between me being on Telecom and you being on Unicom. ❹ Saliva is used to count money, not to talk sense. ❺ When problems arise, look for causes within yourself first, don't blame constipation on the lack of gravity on Earth.
36. Five lies women often tell: 1. "Tell me about you and her, I won't be angry" (After telling, she must be angry). 2. "We're old husband and wife, no need for Valentine's Day gifts" (If you don't buy, you're dead). 3. "I think I'm not suitable for you" (I simply don't like you). 4. "I temporarily don't want a boyfriend" (Move aside! You're not even half of my ideal partner's standard). 5. "There's someone I miss in my heart" (That person is specially fabricated by me for you).
37. Overcast skies don't necessarily mean rain. Separation doesn't necessarily cause the deepest sorrow. Hatred doesn't necessarily last forever. Disappointment doesn't necessarily mean despair. Facing something doesn't necessarily mean the hardest part. Loneliness doesn't necessarily mean unhappiness. Possession doesn't necessarily mean eternal company. Silence doesn't necessarily mean indifference. Losing doesn't necessarily mean never possessing again. Failure doesn't necessarily mean giving up. Miracles don't necessarily not happen. As long as this moment isn't filled with despair, the next moment will surely bring hope!
38. This city is big enough to tolerate all your quirks and habits. People are busy with their own lives, turning coldness into respect for secrets. Everything is fine, no problem, that's good, it's okay, everyone says so, so do you. Those who complain to you, after pouring out their troubles, leave and continue moving forward, and you don't care much either, because you were just pretending to listen. --- The world is so big, yet we are still so lonely!
39. [Seven things you must do with your best friend] ①Dump the boyfriends, shopping buddies; ②Go together for beauty treatments and exercise, work hard for beauty; ③Each other's emotional garbage cans; listen to each other's complaints; ④Go together for health check-ups; we all need to be healthy; ⑤Watch performances together and scream loudly. ⑥Take beautiful selfies; ⑦Sing karaoke together, we have our must-sing songs. Kids, have you done these things?
40. Women, can't be too beautiful, too pretty and you're called a vase; women, can't be too smart, too intelligent and you're called a hidden killer; women, can't be too sexy, too seductive and you're called flashy; women, can't be too gentle, too soft and you're called indecisive; women, can't be too tough, too strong and you're called a man-woman; women can't be too hateful, too nasty and you're called immature and ignorant. Being a woman is truly hard!
41. A reporter interviews an old grandma! The reporter asks: "What do you think about the random setting off of fireworks in the city?" Grandma replies: "What can I do? Just climb onto the windowsill and watch..."
42. [Witty remarks] 1. Kind-hearted people always say I'm simple-minded, but I know they're just too polite to call me stupid. 2. When young, if you love, don't say forever, say cherish. 3. TT, I always thought it was a reader, later found out it's another thing's name. 4. Military blankets are really good quality, hiding under them completely cuts off phone signals!
43. Immature behaviors of girls: 1. Thinking love is the most important thing in life; 2. Relying on clothes to display one's temperament; 3. Easily changing oneself blindly for a man; 4. Telling everyone about one's romantic experiences; 5. Constantly asking the boyfriend "Do you love me?"; 6. Easily meeting net friends; 7. Using pregnancy as a reason to retain a relationship; 8. Always dreaming of marrying a rich man; 9. Always refusing to admit mistakes; 10. Treating a breakup as the end of the world.
44. Each of us is like a clown juggling five balls: work, health, family, friends, and soul. These five balls, only one is made of rubber, it will bounce back if dropped, that's work. The other four balls are made of glass, once dropped, they will break. This statement is worth pondering deeply.
45. Wise people see through, hence they don't compete, time matures the young. Cheerful people think open-mindedly, hence they don't fight. Enlightened people understand heavenly will, hence they don't rush. Virtuous people value humility, hence they don't clamor. Rational people let go, hence they don't cling. Confident people work hard, hence they don't delay. Righteous people make friends worldwide, hence they don't feel isolated. Sentimental people disregard fame and profit, hence they don't feel lonely. Calm people act far-sightedly, hence they don't falter. Content people are always happy, hence they don't age.
46. 1. Because money is regarded as dirt, flowers always bloom on cow dung. 2. Men want to lock the zipper of a woman's wallet, women want to lock the zipper of a man's pants. 3. A woman's belly is enlarged by a man, a man's belly is enlarged by himself. The former is due to conception, the latter due to alcohol. 4. The purpose of installing mirrors in bathrooms: to let people pee and then look at themselves. 5. Crying over wounds and sprinkling salt on wounds have the same effect.
47. Spiritually painful experiences, how many have you endured? ❶ Biting your own tongue while eating. ❷ Your head hitting the window while sleeping on a bus. ❸ Playing with clips and pinching your hand. ❹ Sitting on a chair and rocking it, then falling. ❺ Tripping over your own feet and falling. ❻ Hitting a table or cabinet corner, causing immense pain. ❼ Tearing off adhesive tape forcefully from your skin. ❽ Pulling up the zipper and catching the chin's flesh. ❾ Missing a step on the stairs and falling. If you've experienced all these, you're invincible!
48. Differences between men and women: 1. Women can't handle aging, men can't handle poverty. 2. Women marry out of desperation, men get divorced out of desperation. 3. Women make men feel sorry as lovers, but as wives, they make men feel headaches. 4. Women's main skill is coquetry, men's main skill is lying. 5. Men fall in love and write poems, women fall in love and dream, when they love each other, they do...
49. If you put ten men and one woman on a deserted island, after three months, you'll see the men making a sedan chair to carry the woman around, she looking charming and radiant. If you put ten women and one man on a deserted island, after three months, you'll see the women surrounding a coconut tree, some throwing stones at it, some teasing it with fruit, the man looking thin like a monkey, clinging to the tree and refusing to come down!
50. These days, nothing is reliable, only relying on oneself works, abbreviated as: I... rely on myself!