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The people in the car got out and opened the car door for Su Ma and helped her get out. While helping Su Ma get out of the car, that person looked towards the cross of the church on the mountaintop. It was still quite a long way from where that person and Su Ma were standing. That person locked the sedan and turned back to slowly help Su Ma climb up the steps. That person deeply moved Su Ma. That person sent Su Ma all the way inside the church and brought her in front of the priest without saying a single word throughout.
That person was Shi Zihang.
Shi Zihang was driving to run errands for his company. When he crossed several streets and was about to drive into the courtyard of a client, he suddenly saw Su Ma crossing the street unsteadily as if she was dizzy, through the car's rearview mirror. He wondered about Su Ma's unsteady gait. When he drove closer to Su Ma, he discovered that she was blind. Shi Zihang couldn't help but feel astonished. How could Su Ma, who was perfectly fine, become blind? This made Shi Zihang both surprised and sad.
Ever since he had sold out Su Ma's address to Park Gao due to financial difficulties, he hadn't dared to see Su Ma again. Even during long, lonely nights when he thought of Su Ma's name, he would blush. That unreasonable act of his completely severed the friendship between him and Su Ma. He knew Su Ma wouldn't forgive him, and even he himself couldn't forgive himself. At that time, he was only thinking of a double gain and forgot how this action might hurt Su Ma. He thought that telling Park Gao Su Ma's address would not only solve his predicament but also reunite Park Gao and Su Ma. In the heat of the moment, he made that decision. Afterwards, he realized how rash and reckless and selfish he had been. What did Su Ma mean to him? A commodity? He often questioned himself because of his conscience.
After that incident, his feelings and possessiveness towards Su Ma had vanished. It wasn't that he didn't want to, but he felt it was just a distant dream and fantasy. Although Su Ma was within reach, she seemed unreachable to him.
Would Su Ma talk to him again? Every time he asked himself this question, he would feel disheartened.
In those disheartened moments, he would go to luxury hotels or small bars, indulging with the bar girls, drinking excessively, and being overly intimate. In this way, he gradually pushed Su Ma out of his mind and also forgot about the betrayal of Su Ma.
In such places, he often drank to the point of staggering and falling. His spirit, will, and emotions were all worn away there. He lost the elegance and solemnity of an intellectual man he once had. He hung shoulders with the bar girls, spoke empty words and lies, and let out lewd laughs after heavy drinking. While laughing lewdly, his hands, covered with thick sweat hair, reached towards the exposed breasts of the bar girls. He touched the bar girls' breasts inappropriately, behaving more like a spineless old man than a young man in his thirties.
For a period, Shi Zihang let himself be drunk and sober, living in a daze.
Marcus Aurelius said: "A man is a bit of soul carrying a corpse." But Shi Zihang had already lost his soul.
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