Many classical works in ancient China valued the study of judging and responding to "shi" (trends/situations), especially the I Ching (Book of Changes) and The Art of War by Sun Tzu. In the fiercely competitive business and career environments of ancient times, if unfortunately encountering a formidable person or situation, how should managers respond? If the other party is clearly at a disadvantage, how should managers react? How should managers choose appropriate ways of interaction based on different "shi"?
According to the evaluation of whether the manager perceives others as having an advantage and whether they themselves are at a disadvantage, it can be roughly divided into four situations: perceiving the other as strong and oneself as strong; "perceiving the other as weak and oneself as strong"; "perceiving the other as weak and oneself as weak"; "perceiving the other as strong and oneself as weak". Below, we will analyze these four situations.
### First Situation: Perceiving the Other as Strong and Oneself as Strong
In this situation, one acknowledges the other's strength in terms of ability, status, influence, and achievements; deep down, they recognize the other's "strength." At the same time, they have a fairly high evaluation of their own capabilities and expect a significant influence within the company. Based on whether one reveals their self-assessment and attitude towards interacting with the other, there are the following interpersonal strategies:
1. **Hiding Strength - Setting Traps**: Concealing one's own strengths from the other, aiming to make them underestimate the situation. This could involve deliberately exposing vulnerabilities to lure the "enemy" deeper, akin to experienced police officers or marksmen who often hide a second or even third gun in unexpected places. However, if the trap cannot surprise the other, it loses its meaning. People who do this usually view the stronger party as a rival.
2. **Showing Strength - Opposition**: Demonstrating one's own strength to the other, while also clearly expressing opposing positions and attitudes. Such behavior is often exhibited by those who hold certain "advantages" in terms of position, network, and historical achievements. They may feel weary of continuous effort and progress but are unwilling for their existing benefits to be ignored or "invaded." In companies, it is common for "old veterans" to adopt such postures against the "younger generation."
3. **Showing Strength - Cooperation**: Those who respond in this way often possess values like mutual respect and admiration between heroes. Their past behaviors typically show traits of not being content with mediocrity and readily embracing goodness. Being open-minded, humble, and proactive are often common characteristics of such individuals. Of course, some may also feign cooperation with ulterior motives.
4. **Hiding Strength - Avoidance**: Concealing one's own strengths to avoid or even reject the presence of the other as a colleague or opponent in one's environment. Often, the other's "strong factors" are seen as "great enemies," which one wishes to neutralize. An example of this is the story of Dai Li rejecting Ye Yan Shi, a classmate from the Whampoa Military Academy.
### Second Situation: Perceiving the Other as Weak and Oneself as Strong
Believing that the other is in a weaker position while oneself holds an advantage. However, flowers do not bloom forever, and unexpected changes can occur. Over long periods in the same work environment, the comparison of strengths and weaknesses can vary with time, place, and events, or even due to differences in one's perspective, leading to dramatic transformations. Therefore, in this situation, the following methods for handling interpersonal relationships can be used:
1. **Hiding Strength - Seeking Acceptance**: There was once a doctor who, upon joining a company, casually chatted with workers during lunchtime in the production workshop. Since neither party knew each other's background, their conversation was quite harmonious. Later, when the topic turned to education levels, to avoid making everyone feel inferior, the doctor falsely claimed he had only graduated from high school. Afterward, the workers, upon learning the truth, did not blame him for deceiving them but instead appreciated his modesty and approachability, thus accepting him more readily.
2. **Showing Strength - Assistance**: This is a behavior that should be encouraged, and practitioners often gain a favorable interpersonal environment as a result.
3. **Showing Strength - Refusal**: Exactly opposite to "showing strength - assistance," this might lead to poor interpersonal relations.
4. **Hiding Strength - Cooperation**: This is a relatively low-key, indirect, and easily accepted positive attitude.
### Third Situation: Perceiving the Other as Weak and Oneself as Weak
Having low evaluations of both the other and oneself. Negative, pessimistic, and giving up, lacking self-discipline, not seeking help from others, not striving for progress, seeing oneself as a weakling, and throwing in the towel. In fact, by confronting the problem directly, one can discover that striving for strength despite weakness is the true need for both parties. The following suggestions for handling interpersonal relationships are recommended:
1. **Showing Weakness - Forming Alliances**: This can be either active or passive. Actively, both parties openly admit their weaknesses in terms of ability, experience, knowledge, and status, rather than covering them up. Promoting each other and helping mutually naturally leads to forming alliances to grow stronger. Passively, it is undesirable, where one claims to be unrecognized talent in front of the other, complaining and criticizing. Their usual actions include telling stories to analyze the other's "injustice," trying to make the other realize that they are both victims of favoritism by superiors or bosses. Making the other join forces so that they can serve as "pawns" or "machine guns" when needed becomes their natural pursuit.
2. **Exerting Strength - Isolation**: This is the most negative choice. Besides continuously reinforcing one's own weaknesses, the only remaining benefit might be attracting sympathy and favors. However, people in enterprises should understand that the workplace is not a psychological clinic, and others' attention and support are limited.
3. **Hiding Weakness - Opposition**: This is the most clumsy behavior, as "opposition" will trigger corresponding "retaliation." If the opponent does not know your weakness and delivers a "heavy punch," blaming anyone will be too late.
4. **Hiding Weakness - Self-Strengthening**: This is the most difficult choice. The advantage is definitely strengthening one's resolve, and achieving strength unexpectedly. The disadvantage, of course, is that excessive concealment of weakness can cause immense pressure on oneself, while also losing some kindness and help from the environment that could have been offered.
### Fourth Situation: Perceiving the Other as Strong and Oneself as Weak
This is the most frustrating situation. Whether because of "seeing oneself as weak" and therefore viewing others as "strong," or being seen as "weak" by others who consider the other "strong," it is a troublesome matter. The following interpersonal relationship handling methods are suggested:
1. **Hiding Weakness - Opposition**: This is the least rational behavior.
2. **Showing Weakness - Seeking Help**: Doing this usually results in significant progress for the practitioner in most cases within a short period.
3. **Showing Weakness - Confrontation**: There are usually two possibilities. One is more tragic, leading to the other's "predatory" attack, and being judged by the environment as "deserving punishment." The other, if handled skillfully, timely, effectively, and appropriately revealing conflicts with the other, can attract environmental public opinion and supervision of the event, thus gaining a kind of "protection." Similar to minors, precisely because everyone knows and recognizes their helplessness, there exists a mechanism of civilization and law to strengthen their protection. Of course, willingly being a "minor" in the workplace comes at a terrifying cost.
4. **Hiding Weakness - Cooperation**: This requires the practitioner to have excellent emotional intelligence. Choosing this action without stable self-confidence is not advisable. On the other hand, "hiding weakness - cooperation" is not just a behavioral method but also an analytical structure of interpersonal relationships in enterprises. In other words, if you find that the other perceives themselves as "weaker than you" and consciously tries to cover up their "weakness," then there exists an objectively necessary or possible "cooperation relationship" between you and them. Often, both parties do not simultaneously realize this point and act accordingly. Many stories in enterprises about "turning swords into plowshares" and "discarding past grievances to gain new abilities" contain this principle. Especially when subordinates discover that their superiors are "hiding weakness," if the superior's weakness happens to be the subordinate's strength, there is certainly a possibility for cooperation. Discovering this itself is a level of insight, and actively adjusting to create a cooperative situation requires even more vision and capability.
If the corporate culture is in a healthy state, the following strategy ranking is recommended for behavioral choices in the above four situations.
The so-called strategy ranking means that in the first situation "perceiving the other as strong and oneself as strong," the best strategic behavior is "showing strength - cooperation," and the worst strategic behavior is "showing strength - opposition"; in the situation "perceiving the other as weak and oneself as strong," the best strategic behavior is "showing strength - assistance," and the worst strategic behavior is "showing strength - refusal"; in the third situation "perceiving the other as weak and oneself as weak," the most effective strategic behavior is "hiding weakness - self-strengthening," and the least suitable strategic behavior is "hiding weakness - opposition"; in the situation "perceiving the other as strong and oneself as weak," the best strategic behavior is "showing weakness - seeking help," and the worst strategic behavior is "hiding weakness - opposition."