I waited at that corner for the rain, which lasted a full thirty minutes. Gradually, it began to subside, as if it were waiting for something, though no one knew what it was waiting for, only that it would soon arrive... I retracted my umbrella, and in that moment, the world was filled only with the crisp sound of water droplets by my feet, breaking on the icy ground. An indescribable tranquility rippled through my heart. Am I truly calm now? Have I forgotten the purpose of coming here? I looked down at the small pool of rainwater accumulating around my feet, reflecting my image, and remembered the words I had spoken to her. "You... didn't you say we wouldn't meet again? What do you want to tell me?" I took a deep breath, looked up at the gray sky. A gentle breeze passed over the reflection. I stood there in a daze for a long time. At some point, a hint of melancholy and despair crept into my eyes.
"Can we really be together? Is your answer the mystery I desire?" I asked myself, mentally predicting all possible answers. "Will our tomorrow be sunny? Will we stroll hand-in-hand on deserted streets? Will we make eternal vows today, promising never to part..." I muttered to myself.
But as I indulged in these beautiful visions of the future, I didn't realize that in the next moment, I would fall into an abyss once more, losing a happiness called 'love' on a path where I had already seen the light.
"It's my slowness that makes me unable to grasp this moment... I can only kiss the promises you've left behind... Amidst the flying thoughts, I still collect memories from every street..." I pulled out my phone from my pocket and hastily pressed the answer button, stopping the familiar song that had been playing—a perpetual testament.
From the other end of the line came her voice—the one who had been waiting for me right there. Her voice carried a slight chill, and I sensed an impending unease. I held my breath, waiting for her to continue. "Don't talk, just listen to me..." Her voice paused slightly, as if she was contemplating something deeply before continuing after a while.
"Forget about me..." Her words were hard for me to accept. In an instant, the beautiful dream from a moment ago turned into a nightmare. I wanted to ask something, but she answered me first. "We both know... You have never liked us... Not me, not Li Miaoni, not Wu Anni, not Lin Xiaoxin... Not anyone but the sole person in your heart whom you cannot let go of..."
"We are merely shadows of her, mere objects of her memory in your heart... mere substitutes for her..." She suddenly fell silent, and faint sobs could be heard.
"Is she crying?" I asked myself, then retraced the memories she spoke of. Slowly, I clearly felt fear and the cold pain. That person, the one irreplaceable in my heart, was getting closer...
"Why... why... If you don't love us, just tell us! Don't make us think you care... We're not substitutes!"
"She's finally crying!" I confirmed to myself. Yet, her crying sounded familiar in my memory, "Could it be her...?"
She hiccuped and continued, "Wake up, will you? Stop deceiving yourself... She's dead... Dead..."
"No! No! You're lying... Lying... She's not dead! Not at all..." I couldn't help but get agitated. I was confused. What was I denying? Why was I denying it? Why was I speaking to her like this? Every word she said was like a sharp needle piercing my nerves.
I stopped! My mind went blank! It felt like I might faint at any moment! "Then tell me where she is? Where is she now... Tell me?" She countered, her tone more like a statement than a question.
"You cannot like anyone else! You don't deserve it... I hate! Hate! I hate you..." After a while, her last words echoed endlessly on the quiet street. The person on the other end of the phone had disappeared, and I realized we hadn't even met face-to-face...
Suddenly feeling weak, I couldn't help but kneel down, lost and disoriented. "Why? Why... Why do you all leave me? Why?"
The sky started raining heavily again, and someone I didn’t notice stood not far away without an umbrella, standing still and looking toward me. After a long time, I noticed she was crying—her tears mingling freely with the raindrops falling before her.
We gazed at each other across the distance, and her figure and cries made me feel no trace of unfamiliarity. "Is she the one crying on the other end of the phone?" I asked myself.
Standing up, I shouted toward her, "Is that you?"
But she turned around, facing away from me and walked off, disappearing around another corner. Her silhouette broke open the locked gates of my memory. All the buried recollections woke up and surfaced in that moment—the figure, the smile, the story, and the fairy tale...
It turns out I had never forgotten her existence... I really was deceiving myself, just as she said.
At that moment, loss and sorrow attacked me wave after wave. Nearby, the ringing of my dropped phone could be heard. I picked it up. "I love you..." This was her final message to me.
"Why... why did you have to tell me..." I murmured softly to myself, anger causing me to throw the phone away, then tearing off my wristwatch and throwing it into the street.
But the sound of its shattering revealed a love that had always been hidden. "When you find this note, does it mean I am no longer important to you? I don't know if my departure has ever saddened you. Do you ever remember my existence, the foolish me who loved you but deceived you to leave you... Never mind, everything has ended, hasn't it? I can never replace her in your heart! Go find her and love her well... Lin Xiaoxin, final words..."
It seems that the one abandoning love was me, not them. I was seeking substitutes for her, using their images to make myself feel better, inadvertently hurting those I cared about...
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." I hoped to use my last bit of courage to send this apology to those I cared about. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have made you substitutes for her! I shouldn't have hurt you with my selfishness! If my life could atone for my sins... I hope for your forgiveness..."
"A person's world is too bitter, having wandered aimlessly for so many years is enough. Unreplaceable love should forever remain buried within the heart."
The only eternity in the world is achieved at the cost of life, accompanied by eternal sleep...
In a haze, I saw the speeding black car in the rain, like a black ghost appearing in my vision. I was scared, yet it still ended my life...
At that moment, I turned around and saw a girl running towards me from the corner, calling my name, but I forgot hers.
As I fell, blood quickly mixed with the rain. I looked up at the sky and felt an unprecedented sense of ease and joy, even that distant happiness...
"Is it because I'll see her again?" I asked myself.
Closing my weary eyes, a smile lingered in that moment, in my heart...
Forever, I embarked on eternal slumber, alongside her who had once said such words: "We will be together forever... never apart... for all eternity..."
... ... ... ...
At that corner, will the next person I wait for be you?
Will I also end up like him, waiting in vain for the person I cling to, until the end... ................................The End........................