The pale moonlight shone through the window, covering the entire bed. Er Ya cautiously got up, lit a cigarette, and her lips curled upward with a mocking smile. The man's hand was rubbing back and forth on her thigh. It was a busy hand, dry and rough.
"Smooth and naturally beautiful!"
Er Ya spat in his face coldly, ignoring him. How could such a man use idioms? "I heard you're still a college student?" The man, completely oblivious to Er Ya's coldness, asked shamelessly, "You went to college and still do this, how disgraceful!"
Er Ya turned her head away. Her thick, black hair messily covered her whole face but couldn't hide the refined look and disdain on it. The man got up, his short and ugly figure tossing a few crumpled old bills around before slamming the door and leaving.
Er Ya carelessly stuffed the money into her purse, pressed out the cigarette butt, and turned over to sleep. It was the same dream, the same pair of eyes, filled with disappointment and hatred. When she woke up, it was already noon the next day.
On the phone, Cui Tuo was nagging: "One person is missing, let's meet at the usual place." "I'm sick today, let's change the date." "Are you pretending, Miss? You can go through five places in one night without getting sick, but playing a couple of games with us makes you sick?" "Alright, stop messing around, I'll hang up."
The other end of the phone was filled with harsh curses. After pressing the receiver, everything became quiet. She was really sick, her limbs not feeling like her own, weak and dragging. Her head felt like it wasn't hers either, dizzy and spinning as sweat poured from her body, attracting flies buzzing around aimlessly. Her throat was parched, and there should be water in the thermos. Looking around the room, within the dozen or so square meters, there was a bed, everything in sight was messy. Clothes were scattered all over the floor, and the table was filled with bottles and cans - insecticide, instant noodles, makeup water, and even a cake that had long since grown mold. Where was the thermos? There should be one. It was lying upside down under the table, covered in dust, apparently broken.
She was sick, she had been sick for a long time, just not closing her eyes for too short a time. When would closing her eyes mean never opening them again? Then, the illness would truly be over.
The door opened, someone must have come in. Er Ya curled up in the thin blanket, silent, whoever it was, they should just do what they came for. That person tidied up a bit in the room and then fell silent.
Er Ya opened her eyes: "Yu Shi?" Her face was full of shock. How could it be? But it was the same slim body, the same broad shoulders.
"So, what's with Yu Shi?" Zhang Qiang smiled, "You're really sick."
"Oh, yes," Er Ya stared at the visitor, lowered her head, and mockingly laughed. Why was she still so surprised today? Did she really miss him? She had abandoned him so decisively back then, why was she like this today? He should be married with children, living a stable life, which he had always wanted. If she had stayed back then, she might have also enjoyed that stability. Er Ya laughed again, still the same kind of laugh, cold and mocking.
"I've brought you some congee, it's here," Zhang Qiang stood up, "I've paid your rent first, repay me when you have money."
"Why be so good to someone like me?" Er Ya looked out the window, the small window seemed to stretch far into the distance.
"You, what kind of person are you?"
"... "
"A self-destructive person indeed isn't worth helping."
"Hmph, what else can be done? Can I strive hard? Receive ten or twenty customers a day, save money to reform?" Er Ya deliberately provoked him.
"If you don't do it, why can't you?" He looked at Er Ya earnestly.
"There's no going back." Her voice was soft. Life had fallen apart so much, what could bear such deep affection?
"To die is simple, to become numb is simple, but why do you torment yourself?" Zhang Qiang seemed somewhat agitated. He had never understood why he was so infatuated with such a woman. Yes, she was beautiful, a slight movement of her lips exuded charm, like a summer night's rose, born with allure. Such a woman, how could she fall into prostitution? But he also knew, she had fallen, she was promiscuous, her heart was dead. What remained in the world was only a soulless body, yet he couldn't let go, harboring hope, needing her fierce rejection to feel satisfied, to give up.
"Because I am lowly, so I deserve my fate."
Er Ya pulled the thin blanket tighter, slowly lowering her head, her eyes staring at the newspaper under the bed. It was yesterday's newspaper, with a large color photo in the headline. In the middle stood a tall man with a prominent nose bridge and deep eyes that seemed capable of encompassing the entire world. That face had appeared countless times in Er Ya's dreams, making her yearn and unable to let go. He said he couldn't withstand the gossip of the world, he said he was sorry to the woman who deeply loved him, he swore he wouldn't remarry. But now, who was the alluring woman standing by his side? The small print below the photo clearly explained: Chairman Qu An of ** Group attended the cutting ceremony with his wife.
She thought it was just bad timing, she thought he always had her in his heart, she thought her indulgence could evoke a trace of pain from him. Originally, she was wrong. In his story, she had long become a passerby, vanished without a trace! All her sorrows were just self-created monologues for solace.
Hmph, taking a wife, hahaha, fate playing tricks, dressing others in wedding clothes.
Er Ya glanced at Zhang Qiang, her face full of frivolity. She puckered her lips, pointing at the newspaper and said, "Do you see? That person, Qu An, once said he loved me, giving me lifelong happiness."
"Er Ya..."
"He divorced for me, do you know?"
"For him, I gave up my family, waited for him for five years, but received only an apology..."
"Now, he has broken his vow, remarried, and truly doesn't have me in his heart anymore!"
"Er Ya, what's wrong with you?" Zhang Qiang was a little flustered, holding onto the babbling Er Ya.
"Hahaha, hahaha, hahaha, one apology... hahaha..." Er Ya broke free from the man's embrace, laughing loudly. Suddenly, the laughter stopped abruptly, as if the last breath carried away her final gasp. This woman had never laughed so wildly before, as if trying to vent all the frustrations accumulated in her heart.
If she had no more frustrations, what did she have left?
Gradually, she calmed down, picked up the newspaper, and gently turned to Zhang Qiang with a gentle look, "Go, I'm fine, thank you, but I can't give you the love you seek!"
Zhang Qiang stood there dumbfounded, tears streaming down his face blurring his vision. Finally, the day had come. He thought it would tear his heart apart, cause unbearable pain, but when the truth was revealed, there was no pain, instead, it felt like a great relief to shed a burden. It turned out that the reason worldly emotions were so entangled was merely due to lingering hope and inability to let go. It turned out we were all unfeeling.
But today's her was very different from before. Those loud laughs seemed to release the buildup in her heart. For a moment, he didn't know whether it was good or bad. Looking at her smile, though worried, he also knew she wouldn't listen to anything more, so he turned and left.
That silhouette resembled Yu Shi, the man who deeply loved her when she was still not Er Ya.
A woman's destiny always loses to a man's. Every step cannot be wrong; one mistake leads to continuous errors. To correct it means falling into an abyss beyond redemption, something not everyone can do. Women, when they learn to be rational in love, will also be far from sorrow.
Er Ya's arms were exceptionally white, blending with the moonlight, radiating a crystalline glow. Gently, the blade cut across, blood gushed out like a spring, like roses, slowly blooming, slowly spreading, a splendid and noble red. Yes, it was a noble red, she was noble, she gave her life to love.
Under her beautiful body, the red grew deeper, as if about to consume her entire body. Slowly, Er Ya saw Yu Shi, his shoulders slightly trembling, his face flushed red, pointing angrily, shouting, "You will regret it, you will definitely regret it." Then it turned into Qu An's face, full of disgust and indifference: "Love gone is truly gone, I can only say, I'm sorry."
Finally, the pair of eyes that often appeared in her dreams showed up. She finally saw that face, her mother's face. Er Ya cried out, calling like a child: "Take me away, I have nothing left, please, don't leave me."
Her mother turned her head, coldly staring at Er Ya's face, word by word spitting out: "You don't love yourself, you don't cherish love, you are an unlovable person."
Er Ya froze, her body stopped convulsing, her lips slightly curling upward. That was her last expression left in the world, a cold smile.
The pale moonlight shone through the window, covering the entire bed. Er Ya cautiously got up, lit a cigarette, and her lips curled upward with a mocking smile. The man's hand was rubbing back and forth on her thigh. It was a busy hand, dry and rough.
"Smooth and naturally beautiful!"
Er Ya spat in his face coldly, ignoring him. How could such a man use idioms? "I heard you're still a college student?" The man, completely oblivious to Er Ya's coldness, asked shamelessly, "You went to college and still do this, how disgraceful!"
Er Ya turned her head away. Her thick, black hair messily covered her whole face but couldn't hide the refined look and disdain on it. The man got up, his short and ugly figure tossing a few crumpled old bills around before slamming the door and leaving.
Er Ya carelessly stuffed the money into her purse, pressed out the cigarette butt, and turned over to sleep. It was the same dream, the same pair of eyes, filled with disappointment and hatred. When she woke up, it was already noon the next day.
On the phone, Cui Tuo was nagging: "One person is missing, let's meet at the usual place." "I'm sick today, let's change the date." "Are you pretending, Miss? You can go through five places in one night without getting sick, but playing a couple of games with us makes you sick?" "Alright, stop messing around, I'll hang up."
The other end of the phone was filled with harsh curses. After pressing the receiver, everything became quiet. She was really sick, her limbs not feeling like her own, weak and dragging. Her head felt like it wasn't hers either, dizzy and spinning as sweat poured from her body, attracting flies buzzing around aimlessly. Her throat was parched, and there should be water in the thermos. Looking around the room, within the dozen or so square meters, there was a bed, everything in sight was messy. Clothes were scattered all over the floor, and the table was filled with bottles and cans - insecticide, instant noodles, makeup water, and even a cake that had long since grown mold. Where was the thermos? There should be one. It was lying upside down under the table, covered in dust, apparently broken.
She was sick, she had been sick for a long time, just not closing her eyes for too short a time. When would closing her eyes mean never opening them again? Then, the illness would truly be over.
The door opened, someone must have come in. Er Ya curled up in the thin blanket, silent, whoever it was, they should just do what they came for. That person tidied up a bit in the room and then fell silent.
Er Ya opened her eyes: "Yu Shi?" Her face was full of shock. How could it be? But it was the same slim body, the same broad shoulders.
"So, what's with Yu Shi?" Zhang Qiang smiled, "You're really sick."
"Oh, yes," Er Ya stared at the visitor, lowered her head, and mockingly laughed. Why was she still so surprised today? Did she really miss him? She had abandoned him so decisively back then, why was she like this today? He should be married with children, living a stable life, which he had always wanted. If she had stayed back then, she might have also enjoyed that stability. Er Ya laughed again, still the same kind of laugh, cold and mocking.
"I've brought you some congee, it's here," Zhang Qiang stood up, "I've paid your rent first, repay me when you have money."
"Why be so good to someone like me?" Er Ya looked out the window, the small window seemed to stretch far into the distance.
"You, what kind of person are you?"
"... "
"A self-destructive person indeed isn't worth helping."
"Hmph, what else can be done? Can I strive hard? Receive ten or twenty customers a day, save money to reform?" Er Ya deliberately provoked him.
"If you don't do it, why can't you?" He looked at Er Ya earnestly.
"There's no going back." Her voice was soft. Life had fallen apart so much, what could bear such deep affection?
"To die is simple, to become numb is simple, but why do you torment yourself?" Zhang Qiang seemed somewhat agitated. He had never understood why he was so infatuated with such a woman. Yes, she was beautiful, a slight movement of her lips exuded charm, like a summer night's rose, born with allure. Such a woman, how could she fall into prostitution? But he also knew, she had fallen, she was promiscuous, her heart was dead. What remained in the world was only a soulless body, yet he couldn't let go, harboring hope, needing her fierce rejection to feel satisfied, to give up.
"Because I am lowly, so I deserve my fate."
Er Ya pulled the thin blanket tighter, slowly lowering her head, her eyes staring at the newspaper under the bed. It was yesterday's newspaper, with a large color photo in the headline. In the middle stood a tall man with a prominent nose bridge and deep eyes that seemed capable of encompassing the entire world. That face had appeared countless times in Er Ya's dreams, making her yearn and unable to let go. He said he couldn't withstand the gossip of the world, he said he was sorry to the woman who deeply loved him, he swore he wouldn't remarry. But now, who was the alluring woman standing by his side? The small print below the photo clearly explained: Chairman Qu An of ** Group attended the cutting ceremony with his wife.
She thought it was just bad timing, she thought he always had her in his heart, she thought her indulgence could evoke a trace of pain from him. Originally, she was wrong. In his story, she had long become a passerby, vanished without a trace! All her sorrows were just self-created monologues for solace.
Hmph, taking a wife, hahaha, fate playing tricks, dressing others in wedding clothes.
Er Ya glanced at Zhang Qiang, her face full of frivolity. She puckered her lips, pointing at the newspaper and said, "Do you see? That person, Qu An, once said he loved me, giving me lifelong happiness."
"Er Ya..."
"He divorced for me, do you know?"
"For him, I gave up my family, waited for him for five years, but received only an apology..."
"Now, he has broken his vow, remarried, and truly doesn't have me in his heart anymore!"
"Er Ya, what's wrong with you?" Zhang Qiang was a little flustered, holding onto the babbling Er Ya.
"Hahaha, hahaha, hahaha, one apology... hahaha..." Er Ya broke free from the man's embrace, laughing loudly. Suddenly, the laughter stopped abruptly, as if the last breath carried away her final gasp. This woman had never laughed so wildly before, as if trying to vent all the frustrations accumulated in her heart.
If she had no more frustrations, what did she have left?
Gradually, she calmed down, picked up the newspaper, and gently turned to Zhang Qiang with a gentle look, "Go, I'm fine, thank you, but I can't give you the love you seek!"
Zhang Qiang stood there dumbfounded, tears streaming down his face blurring his vision. Finally, the day had come. He thought it would tear his heart apart, cause unbearable pain, but when the truth was revealed, there was no pain, instead, it felt like a great relief to shed a burden. It turned out that the reason worldly emotions were so entangled was merely due to lingering hope and inability to let go. It turned out we were all unfeeling.
But today's her was very different from before. Those loud laughs seemed to release the buildup in her heart. For a moment, he didn't know whether it was good or bad. Looking at her smile, though worried, he also knew she wouldn't listen to anything more, so he turned and left.
That silhouette resembled Yu Shi, the man who deeply loved her when she was still not Er Ya.
A woman's destiny always loses to a man's. Every step cannot be wrong; one mistake leads to continuous errors. To correct it means falling into an abyss beyond redemption, something not everyone can do. Women, when they learn to be rational in love, will also be far from sorrow.
Er Ya's arms were exceptionally white, blending with the moonlight, radiating a crystalline glow. Gently, the blade cut across, blood gushed out like a spring, like roses, slowly blooming, slowly spreading, a splendid and noble red. Yes, it was a noble red, she was noble, she gave her life to love.
Under her beautiful body, the red grew deeper, as if about to consume her entire body. Slowly, Er Ya saw Yu Shi, his shoulders slightly trembling, his face flushed red, pointing angrily, shouting, "You will regret it, you will definitely regret it." Then it turned into Qu An's face, full of disgust and indifference: "Love gone is truly gone, I can only say, I'm sorry."
Finally, the pair of eyes that often appeared in her dreams showed up. She finally saw that face, her mother's face. Er Ya cried out, calling like a child: "Take me away, I have nothing left, please, don't leave me."
Her mother turned her head, coldly staring at Er Ya's face, word by word spitting out: "You don't love yourself, you don't cherish love, you are an unlovable person."
Er Ya froze, her body stopped convulsing, her lips slightly curling upward. That was her last expression left in the world, a cold smile.