Explosion-proof electronic scale, electronic inverted bucket scale, electronic weighbridge"; "> Electronic weighbridge, industry-specific scales 1 A soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in combat? The company commander was very angry: *What can you do? Pay for the damage. 2 For a long time, Mo received the news. I am so heartbroken. I thought of dying. I once cut my wrist with chips, hit my head with tofu, jumped off a building with a lower parachute, hung myself with noodles, but none of them died. So just take me out for dinner and let me die from overeating. 3 If you feel cool, please call my phone! Press 1 for feelings, press 2 for work, press 3 for life, press 5 to introduce me to someone, say directly if you want to take me out for dinner, and hang up if you want to borrow money from me. 4 The giraffe married the monkey. A year later, the giraffe proposed divorce: Never live such an up-and-down life again. The monkey was furious: Divorce it! Who has ever seen kissing and climbing trees. 5 Fish said: Keep opening your eyes to stay by your side without leaving. Water said: Flowing all day without fatigue is to surround you and hold you tightly. Pot said: You are almost cooked, stop talking nonsense. 6 Have you eaten? Please receive the text message. The elephant defecated in the middle of the road. An ant happened to pass by. Looking up at the misty peak, he couldn't help singing: Yala Suo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!~~~~ 7 We have grown up. There are some things you should know. The sky is used for wind and rain. The earth is used for growing flowers and grass, proving how great humans are, and for stewing vermicelli. 8 When you are near the railway and don't have paper, don't worry, the train will remind you to wipe your pants. When you are near the river and don't have paper, don't worry, the frog will tell you to scrape with a stick. 9 Money can buy a house but not a home, can buy marriage but not love, can buy clocks but not time. Money is not everything, but rather the source of pain. Give me your money and let me bear the pain alone! 10 Oh God, too blue! The sea, too salty! Life, too hard! Work, too annoying! And we have an edge! Missing you makes me sleepless! It's too far to see you! Alas, what should I do? Thinking of you makes me unable to eat with chopsticks and swallow the bowl! 11 Sending you 12 zodiac signs, wishing you as smart as a rat, as strong as a cow, as brave as a tiger, as cute as a rabbit, as confident as a dragon, as charming as a snake, as romantic as a horse, as gentle as a sheep, as mischievous as a monkey, as beautiful as a chicken, as devout as a dog, and look like a pig! 12 The gorilla accidentally stepped on the feces excreted by the gibbon. After the gibbon gently and carefully wiped it clean, they fell in love. When others asked how they got together, the gorilla sighed and said: Gibbon dung! All because of gibbon dung! 13 The lion and the bear defecated beside a tree separately. A month later, the lion found that the tree beside his feces grew stronger than the bear's one. Then he said a philosophical truth full of沧桑 - Lion dung is better than bear dung! 14 Think of a number, add 52.8 to it, then multiply by 5, subtract 3.9343 afterward, divide by 0.5, and finally subtract ten times the number you thought of. The answer is very romantic! 15 The office always farts loudly. A colleague couldn't help saying, "Can you be quiet?" Then you were seen shaking and trembling there. When asked what you were doing, you replied, "I've set it to vibrate." 16 Dear God, please bless those who don't call or send messages to me and don't even think of me. May the Lord drop their phones into the toilet! Amen! 17 Legend has it that you're so tough that you lie down and occupy four seats in the theater. When others ask you to get up, you just hum and don't move. When the security guard comes, he says, "Friend, you're tough. Which gang are you from?" Gritting his teeth, he says, "Fell from the upstairs corridor." 18 Missing you, thinking of you, find an artist to draw you, paste you in the cup, drink water every day and look at you. Lucky? Pour a cup of hot water and scald you to death. 19 Esteemed user, at this moment, I have deducted 20 yuan from your phone bill and donated it to the Palestinian national plight cause. For this, the Palestinian self-governing government has decided to grant you a prestigious title in the name of the entire Arab world: Ben. Salaji! 20 The beauty of knowledge lies in making people confused; the beauty of poetry lies in inciting infidelity among men and women; the beauty of women lies in being stupid without regrets; the beauty of men lies in lying so much that it seems daylight madness. 21 Do you care about me? Do you care about whether I care about you? Do you care about whether you care about me? Do you care about whether you care about me as much as I care about you? Little buddy, make you dizzy. 22 Have you heard? Five hundred turns in the past life only to exchange for a fleeting encounter in this life. Friends like you didn't seem to do anything in the past life, just kept looking back. 23 Two counterfeiters accidentally made fake banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan. They decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When one of them bought a 1-yuan sugar-coated hawthorn with a 15-yuan note, the farmer cried and gave him two 7-yuan notes as change. 24 Portrait of life: learned to bathe yourself at the age of ten - Zhu Ziqing; radiant at twenty - Zhu Shimao; found a job at thirty - Zhu Liye; hired a servant at forty - Zhu De Yong; learned to play basketball at fifty - Zhu Tou! 25 A three-year-old boy held a three-year-old girl's hand and said, "I love you." The girl said, "Can you take responsibility for my future?" The boy said, "Of course, we're not one or two years old anymore." 26 Just now, while chatting with friends, we talked about knowing each other. He and I quarreled, and almost fought physically, because some said you look like a monkey, some said you look like a gorilla, it's really too much, they didn't even treat you as a pig! 27 One day, someone said you are a pig, you said, "It's the pig that's strange." Then they started calling you "pigcai". Eventually, you couldn't help declaring loudly in front of everyone: "It's not the pig that's strange!" 28 The three most popular words during the Iraq War: war peace, battle war. Found, put these three English words together and read them aloud three times, revealing a major historical mystery. 29 People talk about love, not special; Cows eat grass, not special; Pigs press the phone, that's special; They even press! What a divine pig! Wow! It can even laugh! How cool the pig is! 30 There are two sentences I've always wanted to say to you, and today I finally gather the courage: First sentence, I love you so much; Second sentence, don't take the first sentence seriously. 31 Psychological test: If you think your IQ is pretty high, go on; If you think you're quite humorous, go on; If you think you're quite charming, go on; If you think you're quite handsome, go on. Test result: Quite shameless. 32 I see vicissitudes between my eyebrows, confidence in my eyes, time on my forehead, and leek between my teeth, go brush your teeth! 33 Eating feces, dian cong, bu xi, jiao shuang, huang se, wang zhan, zhong zhi, wo pu, shi xiong, how many words below do you know well? Aren't you just discovering that except eating feces, you can't do anything else? 34 Two cows are eating grass. One of them said, "Will we be infected with mad cow disease since it's popular recently?" The other said, "No, kangaroos are already crazy." 35 Always an unknown knight in the江湖, until one day, encountering the legendary most mysterious one, he actually called out the name, henceforth, in the江湖, there is also a resounding name: Zhizhu Xia! 36 Marriage proposal: Poor family, ugly, 1.49 meters tall, primary school, savage village household registration, three dilapidated houses, one acre of thin land, no wife, medicine never leaves the mouth all year round, today's text message widely solicits girlfriends, revolutionary journey shoulders together, okay? 37 Doctor: Why can't I find the pen? I want to give you a prescription. The patient quietly reminded the doctor, isn't it in your armpit? 38 Wanting the sunshine to warm you, the starlight to decorate you, the wine to intoxicate you, the food to satisfy you, the fireworks to make you brilliant, the happiness to submerge you, but haven't been God for a long time, can only use text messages to wish you happy every day! 39 If all the pigs in the world die out (play a song) Answer: At least there's still you. 40 In the late Qing Dynasty, sat in court, carried guns in the Beiyang Army, fled in Wuchang City, helped in the Northern Expedition War, was wounded in the core of Nanchang, climbed over walls in the Long March, stole sheep in the enemy's rear during the Anti-Japanese War, who can be stronger than me? 41 Claimed kingship during the warlord strife, looted houses during the decisive battle of Pingjin, drank soup while crossing the Yangtze River, fed wolves on the banks of the Yalu River, wiped the barrel while bombarding Jinmen, cursed mothers during invasion and counterattack, swept away yellow during the reform and dryness, who can be crazier than me? 42 A student "Where did you take my shirt?" A roommate "To the laundry room" Good grief, all the key points of the history class are written on the cuffs. 43 A mental patient was lying in bed singing, singing, turning over, continuing to sing. The doctor asked him, "If you want to sing, why turn over?" The mental patient said, "Dumbass, after side A is finished, of course, sing side B!" 44 nHZ! HSOM Just know you can't guess. Can't understand, Look carefully! Still can't figure it out? Do you know pinyin? Stupidity has its limits, right? Turn your phone upside down! 45 Father: How can you be so stupid, you little pig! Cough! Do you know what a little pig is? Son: Yes, the son of a pig. 46 Miss: I always feel your personality is completely different from when I was a child. Lover: Right, the two of us are really destined. Miss: I liked telling lies when I was a child. Lover: 47 A drunk man fell from the third floor by accident, drawing a crowd of onlookers. A policeman came over: What happened? Drunk man: Don't know, just arrived. 48 A man wants to jump off a building, his wife shouts: Darling, don't be impulsive, there's a long way to go! The man listened and jumped up. The police said: He shouldn't have been threatened like that