In the dead of night, there was one person and one Buddha in the temple. The Buddha sat while the person stood.
Person: Enlightened Buddha, I am a married person. Right now, I have fallen passionately in love with another man. It's hard for me to endure even a day without seeing him! I truly don't know what to do.
Buddha: Can you be certain that this man you love right now is the only and last man in your life?
Person: Yes, I haven't felt this way for many years! Having come upon this moment, I don't want to miss it!
Buddha: Divorce him, then marry the other man.
Person: But my current partner is diligent, kind, and responsible. Would it not be somewhat cruel and immoral for me to do this?
Buddha: Cruelty and immorality in marriage lie in the absence of love. You no longer love him as you have fallen for someone else. What you're doing is correct.
Person: But my partner loves me so much, he really does.
Buddha: Then he is happy.
Person: If I divorce him and marry someone else, shouldn't he be in pain rather than happy?
Buddha: In your marriage, he still has his love for you, but in your marriage, you have lost your love for him because you love another. To possess is to be happy; to lose is to be in pain. Therefore, the one in pain is you.
Person: But if I divorce him and marry another, isn't it he who loses me? Shouldn't he be the one in pain?
Buddha: You are mistaken. He merely loved a specific instance of you in your marriage. When this specific instance is gone, his true love will continue onto another specific instance because his true love in marriage has never been lost. Thus, he is happy, and you are in pain.
Person: He said he would only love me in this life and would never love anyone else.
Buddha: Did you say the same thing?
Person: I... I... I...
Buddha: Now look at the three candles in the incense burner before you. Which one is the brightest?
Person: I truly don't know. They seem equally bright.
Buddha: These three candles represent three men, one of whom is the man you currently love. There are countless men in the world, and if you can't even determine which candle is the brightest among these three, how can you be sure that the man you love now is the only and last man in your life?
Person: I... I... I...
Buddha: Now take one candle and place it before you, and observe carefully which one is the brightest.
Person: Of course, the one before me is the brightest.
Buddha: Now put it back where it was and see which one is the brightest.
Person: I still cannot tell which one is the brightest.
Buddha: In fact, the candle you just held represents the man you currently love. Love arises from the heart. When you feel you love someone, you focus on them and perceive them as the brightest. But when you return them to their original place, you can no longer find any brightness in them. This so-called "only and final" love is nothing more than an illusion. In the end, it all amounts to nothing.
Person: Oh, I understand. You are not asking me to divorce my partner. You are enlightening me.
Buddha: Seeing through but not saying it outright, go ahead.
Person: Now I truly know who I love—it’s my current partner.
Buddha: Amitabha, Amitabha
The person we once deeply loved is just one among the multitude. Love arises from the heart, making us believe they are our greatest love in this life. When you feel you love them, you focus your heart on them and perceive them as the most precious. But when everything returns to its origin, life continues, and they are just a passerby in our lives.
We cannot determine who our truest love is. If we do not cherish what we have, the person who loves us or whom we love may one day become a passerby.
Finding someone you love is not easy, and neither is finding someone who loves you. If you cannot be sure who your truest love is, why not cherish the feelings when you become someone else's love? Love arises from the heart. If you tell yourself you love them, naturally, you can fall in love with them.
If the person you love does not reciprocate, remember: love arises from the heart. It's because you focus too much on them. Try shifting your focus, and you'll discover that bright candles are everywhere.
Love or lack thereof, it's all in a single thought.
Let bygones be bygones. Let past loves pass. That is just a part of our lives, a drop in the vast ocean, a speck of dust in the endless expanse. Without those pasts, we wouldn't be who we are today.
Cherishing the present is always better than being fickle.