A 2010 classic collection of witty quotes that are even sharper than Feng Ligeshuo. Let's take a look:
1. I came secretly and left quietly, waving my dagger, leaving no survivors.
2. How long has the bright moon been there? Look up and check it yourself.
3. Heroes don't ask about the future, breast enlargement, rascals don't care about age.
4. When you see injustice on the road, roar, and then keep walking.
5. There is no wall that doesn't ventilate; there is nothing you want to buy that can't be hung on a beam.
6. Confucius said: If you don't nap at noon, you will fall apart in the afternoon! Mencius said: What Confucius said is correct!
7. Holding your hand, dragging you away! If you don't go, knock you out and drag you away!
8. Is being big necessarily powerful? Dinosaurs went extinct anyway!
9. Parents deceiving children is called teaching; children deceiving parents is called fraud; mutual deception is called generation gap.
10. Don't talk to me about feelings, talking about feelings costs money.
11. Love is putting all your effort into it, and then disentangling yourself after countless twists and turns!
12. The most contradictory place between lovers is imagining each other's future, yet yearning for the other's past.
13. Before I could sow wild oats, they were already plucked by someone else.
14. Heroes find it hard to resist beauties, but I'm not a hero, yet beauties let me pass through.
15. Men's brains like women's hearts, but their eyes prefer women's appearances.
16. Women like men who appear bad, not men who are truly bad.
17. A salted fish turning over is still a salted fish.
18. Since I'm not a prince, why do girls think they should become princesses when they meet me?
19. Marriage is like putting freedom in a cotton coat, making movement inconvenient, but keeping warm.
20. Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but very important.
21. As a model of failure, you're really too successful at 30.
22. When the boss uses you, you're talent; when he doesn't, you're redundant!
23. Union leads to division, division leads to union; drinking leads to craziness, and encountering alcohol means drinking.
24. Do you have any unhappy things? Tell them so everyone can be happy.
25. In front of the Chinese team, the Thai team wearing yellow jerseys momentarily exuded the elegance of the Brazilian team.
26. Women are made of water, men are made of mud, Lee Jun Ki and Li Yuchun are made of cement.
27. Men going to bars seek excitement, while women are often seeking solace from previous trauma.
28. If you look like a bun, don't blame the dogs for following.
29. When pants lose their belt, they understand what dependence means.
30. Cigarettes don't listen, so we "smoke" them.
31. When men meet women, henceforth there are only anniversaries, no independence days.
32. Closing my eyes, I saw my future...
33. Grievances that can be expressed aren't real grievances; lovers who can be taken away aren't true lovers.
34. The sea is vast for fish to leap, and broken drums are for anyone to beat.
35. Things you can't extricate yourself from include love, and others' radishes.
36. Diamonds last forever, one can make you bankrupt!
37. Where you fall, lie down there.
38. Explanation is embellishment, covering up is storytelling!
39. Fall down, get up and cry.
40. You told me to roll, I rolled. You asked me to come back, sorry, I rolled too far!
41. Even if you're ugly, you still need to date, until the world is full of love!
42. Farmers plant corn in the ground, and harvest many ears of corn in autumn. I planted my husband in the spring, now autumn has arrived, tsk tsk, he's dead!
43. My wife wanted to see lightning, so I cut the power line with a kitchen knife! Crazy... Journey to the West tells us that demons with connections always get rescued, those without connections get beaten to death!
44. I said: Life should be more than just work! Then my wife told me this could be done. Then: I got overtime!
45. If you're feeling down, go to the supermarket and squeeze instant noodles!
46. The world belongs to us, and also to those children, but sooner or later it will belong to those bastards!
47. Dare to provoke me again, and I'll post your name and phone number on Soubaba Mixed Forum, letting bar friends spray you to death!
48. Whenever I face difficulties, I chant scriptures: "Oh Ma Ni Bao Mei Hong," translated into English it means: All money goes to my home!
49. Kindness is when others are hungry, I eat meat without smacking my lips!
50. Without Han Hong's fate, I got Han Hong's disease... My daughter is fat, my son won't eat!
51. One day your name will be on my household registration book!
52. Comparing salaries, well, life isn't worth living anymore.
53. Having lived over twenty years, I haven't done anything for the country or the people, every time I think about it, I feel heartbroken.
54. I struggled against fat, almost sacrificing myself.
55. Life is about being born and continuing to live~
56. When the ship hits the bridgehead, it naturally sinks~
57. When you put on your wedding dress, I wear my monk's robe~
58. I prayed to Jesus for a stable life, he thought about it and said, let's talk about world peace first...
59. If you love me, say it out loud! If you hate me, hide it in your heart forever!
60. Take advantage of your youth and do all the bad things you can, there aren't many years left.
61. You once told me, you would love me forever, sunshine leaks, I understand love, but what is forever?
62. Seven-year-old boys are the scariest creatures on Earth, they have curiosity, drive, destructive power, and the "Minor Protection Law."
63. People value integrity---I said I wouldn't repay money, so I won't repay money, ample chest!
64. Summer is just bad, when poor, there's no west wind to drink, fortunately, it's autumn now.
65. Although I believe in vows, I may not trust you...
66. Whatever I can't let go of, must be because I can't possess it...
67. Extraordinary people never claim they're extraordinary, like me.
68. In my life, I only know how to do two things: 1. This I can't do. 2. That I can't do either.
69. No freedom without **, no ** without freedom~
70. I know, there is no feast that doesn't end, but at least, I want to enjoy the feast!
71. People don't get along by being polite!
72. I once wanted to be a problem child, but I've lived these years obediently.
73. Whoever delays me for a moment, I'll make him regret for a lifetime.
74. Shutting myself in for a month, don't call me, because once you call, I'll come out...
75. Taxi drivers, the fighters among drivers, oh yeah!
76. How far can your thoughts go? Roll as far as I tell you!
77. Zhuge Liang hadn't led troops before he came out, why do you demand I have work experience!!!
78. The highest realm of work is watching others work while you collect their salary.
79. Fat and emaciated~
80. When Kang Fu resigned, did he consider Doraemon's feelings? (Written when the Japanese Prime Minister announced his resignation last year)
81. I am charming and decisive, far-sighted and down-to-earth, with excellent taste yet self-reflective, though flawed, I hope everyone can tolerate me!
82. Go ahead and roll, gallop and roll...
83. Be sure to be a lively person, as your man.
84. I log into my QQ, you enter your little black room.
85. The greatest sorrow in life is that youth is gone, yet pimples remain.
86. Our motto is: Serve the Renminbi!
87. It's been a long time since someone blew such fresh and elegant boasts!
88. The simplest secret to longevity-------------keep breathing, don't stop breathing~~
89. Is money really that important to you? You've been talking for over three hours without lowering a single penny.
90. I'd rather die than tell, you haven't used the beauty strategy yet!
91. When I have money, I'll buy a bus, specifically to use the bus-only lane, and specifically park at bus stops, when someone wants to get on, I'll say: Sorry, it's a private vehicle~~
92. A: They have flaws amidst perfection, how about you being perfect in ten ways too~~ B: Which two perfections am I lacking? A: Inner beauty and outer beauty