The End of a Misplaced Love
You were once so gentle to me. I also thought that the days spent with you were enjoying life. And the happiness you brought me far outweighed the sadness. Even if you are not good now, after all, I have loved you with all my heart. It also enriched my emotional experience. The time we spent together was sweet and profound. Maybe you don't remember how it started, but we once wanted to sincerely spend the rest of our lives together. We constantly called each other, sent text messages, chatted on QQ, and didn't miss any platform for communication. We just wanted to hear one more sentence from each other, to know a little more about each other. At that time, we loved each other, so much. We couldn't bear to be apart for even a second! There was no alcohol, yet we were drunk, lost in love. I willingly washed your socks, learned to cook. Every dusk, I stood by the window waiting for you to come back. Seeing your figure, joy spread through me. I felt that there was someone in this world who made me unable to let go, and it was wonderful.
I secretly said to myself, "Dear, if you change your name next life, our signal will still be 'the rest of our lives together,' so I can find you more easily." Always so sincere, so devoted, so serious, wanting to give you all the beautiful things, as long as I have them, as long as you want them. But I forgot, dear, I gave you everything, where do you put it? If it can't be contained, should we choose to escape and let go?
Originally, I thought I understood men so thoroughly. I thought they were the most changeable creatures in the world, but I acknowledged you, I believed in you even more than in myself! You were just an ordinary man. You had all the virtues that other men had, and all the flaws that other men had as well. I loved too deeply, knowing it might crush you, I shouldn't love you so much, I couldn't love you so much, I needed to reduce my longing and affection for you. I knew it, but how could I control myself! I fell into it. And deeply, very deeply. When love becomes deep, people become lonely. I gave you all my love, but I still couldn't be sure if all you think about and see is me. My heart began to gradually grow cold. Because I no longer saw those smiles and looks that used to be exclusively mine. I started having sleepless nights, every abnormal move of yours made me restless and insecure.
I started trying hard to find reasons, to find where I went wrong. You started to no longer care about me when I lost my appetite, no longer worried about my troubles, no longer worried about my illness. You no longer stared into my eyes and said, "Beautiful!" The countless love words you once told me only came when I initiated the call first, and every time you would quickly turn the conversation to, "Is there anything else? If not, that's it for now!"
When love becomes intense, it turns thin. I tested, I clung, I begged, and finally forced you to say "Sorry" to me! The next sentence, "Let's break up!" I asked you for a reason. You fabricated one. Then you said, "Too tired!" When loving someone, there are hundreds of reasons, you said I was pretty, sensible, obedient, and you felt proud to have me! Not loving anymore has only one reason, "Tired"?
I cried. My tears could no longer burn your heart. But I still cried and shouted like a child, clinging and asking you, "Is it you? Is it really you? Please tell me this isn't true!" You looked at me expressionlessly and said, "Everything changes and fades with the passage of time..."
In that moment, I collapsed. This time, I knew, you were serious. You're not coming back! Your heart has left! I could only desperately think of your badness, your ruthlessness, that you were a liar, a philanderer, that you took me to heaven and pushed me down to hell!
Love is not homework written with a pencil that you can erase with an eraser. Now, whoever you fall in love with, and what kind of nights you spend with what kind of person, seem to have nothing to do with me. I know that in the future, when I catch a cold or have a fever or run out of money, there's no need for you to know. How can I bother a man who doesn't love me? I can only silently tell myself that the you who loved me is dead! Carrying my love has already left this world, from now on, I am alone! I will find happiness in loneliness! Because lonely people will never get hurt............
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