Classroom of Angel's吐槽 officially opens. Thank you all the parents for visiting my classroom, and thank you all the friends who brought CJ girls to attend my class. Mosquito catcher. And today's first lesson will be about - What to do if a third party appears? Angel will help with a smile.
Once again, thank the two parents who provided obscene materials so that Angel can quickly help solve the problems of big and small third parties and their families.
The following are confidential materials collected by the mysterious吐槽 Angel from various professional websites and books:
1. Collect evidence
Collecting effective evidence is the most powerful weapon for those involved in an incident.
【If you are the person involved with the third party】 Please stop having ambiguous relations with her (him). Break up! Or rather, you were never together. Sneaking around feels bad, right? Special warning to those who already have children or families. It's best to give up! Or better yet, hide the evidence. Industrial chiller.
【If you are a child or family member harmed by the third party or a fourth party】 Hahahaha. These people are the most laughable and disgraceful, not referring to the victims. If you are a victim, please review MSN, blog comments, QQ chat records, Douban, Taobao, Alibaba, etc., chat records or post replies. A 360° full needle-hole recording, report at the appropriate time, and eliminate them completely.
【If you are the third party】 Beautiful girl, whether you are unmarried, haven't dated but celebrate Valentine's Day, married, or divorced, please leave. Please don't say "This is love" like Qiu Mei in "You Are My Lover." Although it's romantic and beautiful, please consider the consequences and your future prospects. May I ask, how many families have you destroyed? Are you still human? Clearly, you're a cat person.
2. Indirectly uncover secrets
Indirectly discovering and exposing the other party suits the silent killers among the吐槽 group.
【If you are the person involved with the third party】 Manage all your chat tools well. For example: MSN, blog comments, QQ chat records, QQ email, Douban, Taobao, Alibaba, etc. To avoid being stabbed in the back by a black-clothed person. It's said that the most tragic thing is dying without knowing how.
【If you are a child or family member harmed by the third party or a fourth party】 Harmed child, put more effort! Conduct a thorough search of all chat systems. Best light three incense sticks and KO the third party's computer! Family members, register a brand new account with completely different information. For example, input---"I am a 190-year-old grandfather from the Indian Malaysian Harbin province of Xiangtan who participated in the May Fourth Revolution, named Lin Zexu!"
【If you are the third party】 Please manage your reputation. If you've done too many wrong things and eventually get exposed, it's the most hateful thing. All sorts of chaos come out, take a look, check it out! The latest news of the third party's infidelity!
3. Cry, fight, then吐槽
Crying is the most commonly used fatal weapon by women. Using innocent eyes to gain sympathy. Facing the third parties, cry harder than them. Preferably sobbing or pretending to gasp for breath to gain sympathy. In the hospital, start revealing the sins of the third parties in front of the crowd.
Fighting requires more props and methods.
Slapping. The most commonly used violent means. Act fast and fiercely. Maybe you don't have as much strength as a man, but speed can increase energy, causing more pain.
Kicking with your foot. Use a powerful foot to kick the stomach, hands, feet, anywhere. The stomach is the softest, but it's recommended to kick the chest unless you want to pay medical expenses.
Headbutting. Ha ha, this method is best for hitting the head. You can control the degree yourself, and hitting the temple can knock them out, dear~
吐槽, this professional stuff, let吐槽 Angel teach you.
For example-------
Wife: Ni Ma, you stole my LG and still looked down on me. Do you want to die after stealing my stuff? Talking about you, even though you're young and pretty, you've ruined your own future, but you've also deceived everyone else's future. Ni Ma~ What will happen when your honey is gone? I see you love celebrating Valentine's Day the most, right? Now immediately, you have three choices. One, kneel down in front of me, and I'll forgive you with ten palm strikes. Two, let me accidentally push you down the stairs, no worries, I'll play Sun Nan's "Come Back" for you. Three, disappear immediately. Okay, three seconds are over. Ni Ma, go die!
Child: Ni Ma, you stole my dad and still act proud. Are you happy, smug, and proud? Don't think that cute girls or little boys are easy to fool. Stop pretending and saying things like, "Oh, little one, let me be your mommy, okay?" Or do you not plan to become my stepmom? Ni Ma, stop secretly getting married thinking we don't know. Look at your young face, what kind of pretense is this? After taking off your makeup and before plastic surgery, I don't know what you really look like. You must be sadder than our hamster at home. Your sister, roll away immediately! Whether you're a big sister or a queen has nothing to do with you, humph! Who's more proud than me~~
That's all for today's class with吐槽 Angel. If you have any questions, please call 12580. If you want to suggest a better topic, press 1. If you want to make friends, press 2. If you want to listen to the previous lesson, press 3. If you want to吐槽 and die, press 4.
Thank you for your cooperation.
See you next class~