I am really admiring myself for being able to say such harsh words, even though I feel an overwhelming heartache! Maybe this is just my personality - I'd rather be proudly alone than humbly try to please others. This applies to work, life, and love. No matter how past happiness mocks my sorrow, no matter how the pain at the tooth mark feels like bugs gnawing at my bones! Ha, so typical of a Cancer! I miss her so much. Every day when I wake up, work, eat, go online, rest, my mind is always thinking about what she is doing at this moment? Is she thinking about me too? Sometimes, I look through our old QQ messages, text messages on the phone, and a few photos left behind. It's like recalling one movie after another, feeling a sourness in my heart. It turns out that once a person gets used to missing someone, it's hard to quit, just like a drug addiction. But why, even when she calls or texts me, am I still so cruel? I hate myself! Does it mean that only when there's chaos in someone's life, will they feel relieved and willing? Thinking about it, maybe this is the best outcome. A love without future might as well end early. I'd rather let her hate me than see her suffer later! But why do I still have such reluctance and attachment in my heart? Someone said that parallel lines are the scariest, but I think intersecting lines are the scariest - they had an intersection, but will eventually drift away from each other and get further and further apart. Today, she said on QQ that I am heartless, so when I saw her come online, I went offline. But she doesn't know that I'm actually invisible. Because I know that even if both of us are online, neither of us would take the initiative to speak first. So, I make myself invisible. This way, even if I silently watch her avatar, I still feel warm in my heart, until her avatar turns gray, until I silently say to her in my heart: Good night, baby! Let's keep a corner in our hearts for her, where no one else can enter, and we don't want to touch either. I know that when I look back, those sweet scenes seem funny, those laughter and joy can make me shed tears. Therefore, I dare not look back at everything that has happened, for fear that I won't find my way back. Who was once who's visible when invisible? Who was once who's login reminder? Who was once who's special concern? It turns out that the people around you can one day disappear soundlessly, which is so terrifying! Now I finally understand that every relationship, as long as it stays in your heart, is already eternal. But with just one word "once", how many stories have been covered up...... Left atrium, right tooth mark!