400 Classic Hilarious BBS Quotations
1. Ever since two prostitutes claimed they were graduates from a prestigious university, I now generally claim to be illiterate!
2. Women should remember... you must eat well, play well, drink well, and sleep well. Once you work yourself to death, there will be other women spending your money, living in your house, sleeping with your husband, flirting with your boyfriend, and even disciplining your children.
3. A good dog doesn't block the road; those that do are obstacles!
4. Bed, money, moonlight; clothes, lost land, up, refreshing!
5. If not shocking the world with allure, then move the masses with YD (vulgar).
6. So many people look down on me, who are you to judge?
7. The system actually suspects me of spamming, but there's no faucet around me. Oh... I see, there is one on my body...
8. To choose a mature woman, her skirt is easy to pull.
9. Driving is not difficult, except when there are newbies!
10. "Czeckoslovakia"! My name is JACK, my wife always complains about me like this. (JACKSLOW)
11. Among all pleasures, lust is paramount.
12. Water can carry a boat, it can also make porridge! Confucius by the river said: "If only there was a boat!"
13. Having talent is like being pregnant, it takes time for others to notice.
14. If you cannot put a wedding dress on your woman, then never stop unbuttoning her blouse!
15. I don't like sleeping with just one woman many times, I prefer sleeping with many women just once.
16. Ask how much sorrow one can have, it's just like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel...
17. If you look like a bun, don't blame the dogs for following...
18. Fear not enemies like tigers, but teammates like pigs!
19. Study hard for China! A pack of Zhonghua cigarettes costs so much money...
20. Those without medical insurance or life insurance, don't act heroically after dark...
21. You can't please everyone, because not everyone is human!
22. Successful women don't fear losing face!
23. A girl transitions from a virgin to a woman in one successful attempt, but a boy needs repeated practice to go from a virgin to a man!
24. Treating frequent urination doesn't require expensive medicine, just buy a rubber band for two cents.
25. A day as a couple brings a hundred days of grace, a hundred days as a couple brings umm umm umm.
26. Friend, you're leaving today, please finish this Bai Niu (a type of liquor).
27. This dish, Braised Pig Feet, tastes great. If you don't think so, it just means you're a pig.
28. Two children debated the sun, one said: A day is a day! The other said: A day is a day!
29. Knowing someone's face doesn't mean knowing their heart, reviewing the past... Drawing dragons and tigers is easy, but drawing their bones is hard, soft palm...
30. Those who love me, raise your left hand, those who love Tang Tang, raise your middle finger.
31. A green bean was walking on the street, and stepped on a slice of lemon, turning into [sour feet]...
32. Little Swallow, wearing a bikini, flying east oh flying west...
33. Three parts are destined by heaven, seven parts rely on hard work, striving wins a penny.
34. Growing up... I've become... um, 140 catties, need to lose weight!
35. Wives are useless in March weather, spring rain like wine, willows like smoke...
(Note: Some phrases may involve cultural or humorous nuances that might not translate perfectly into English.)