N Kinds of Men
Column: Essays Added Time: December 6, 2010, 14:52:34 Source: admin Clicks: 47
I have a client who is over sixty years old. He's now a real estate boss with assets exceeding hundreds of millions. Since I've known him since before he became wealthy, we talk freely. Every time I see him, he says that I'm getting more beautiful, and I respond by saying that he's getting more handsome. One day, he said that my car was low-end, and I worked too hard. If I wanted to change my situation, I could immediately have a nice car and house. I told him: even though the four wheels are broken, they can still protect me from wind and rain; although money is hard-earned, it's all sweat and blood, and I like this kind of "broken" life. Another day, he said that even though I am beautiful, he couldn't get close to me. I replied: although you're good-looking, you're a bit old.
I have another client in his thirties, who is a top figure in his industry. His annual advertising investment alone is several million, so he's quite arrogant. I know both him and his wife. When I do business with him, he often hints at me. After seeing no response from me, his friend told me: his relationship with his wife is not good, they're currently getting divorced, and now girls who want to date him are lined up. If I'm willing, I don't need to wait in line. I told his friend: everything needs order and precedence. I'm willing to wait in line, and if someone cuts in front of me, I can move back further. This rich man, after the contract ended, owed me for over a year without settling the account. I got so angry that I removed his advertisement. Later, when there was no other way, he finally settled my small account. There were several cases like this where he was very friendly initially but didn't settle the account later. I've been thinking, if I had followed their wishes at that time, would my payment have been easier to collect?
The other day, I was walking on the street when a BMW driver stopped beside me and rolled down the window to offer me a ride home. I've encountered this situation many times before, which has always puzzled me. If I were a seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl, it would be easier to understand, like Super Cabbage II - Cabbage and Butterfly. But I'm already thirty years old. Moreover, familiar people show affection because they know you. You're walking on the street, and someone shows concern, but who knows what their intentions are. After declining, I had doubts and asked again: does it look like I'm a bad person? What I meant was asking whether he thought I looked like a prostitute, so he dared to express himself so boldly. He didn't answer me but instead asked if I thought he looked like a bad person. I said, "You absolutely look like a good person, but I like bad ones." He then asked if I was married. I replied, "No, I'm an old maid." He mumbled, "Old, but are you still a maiden?" Oh, you think I'm too old to walk, so you're offering me a ride, Comrade Lei Feng, thank you, but I can still walk. After saying that, I walked away, New Article 1.
There's another client, also in his thirties, whose conditions during the signing of the contract were so harsh as to be unacceptable. He kept demanding one condition after another. Finally, when he made another request, I wanted to get angry but couldn't. So, I sulkily said, "Then I'll just give you a wife." Everyone laughed, and the contract was signed. However, when I went to settle the account after finishing the project, he said I owed him a wife and refused to pay. Despite numerous attempts, he always used this excuse. One day, right after their meeting, with many people around, I mentioned settling the account again, and he once more brought up the wife issue. I said, "Alright, then I'll introduce you to two women," to which he responded that one was enough, no need for so many. I said, "One older woman bringing along a younger one, buy one get one free, you can't refuse." He said, "Then you might as well introduce me to a pockmarked woman." I replied, "A pockmarked woman is better than a somewhat attractive fifty-something woman." He said, "Then you might as well introduce me to an eighty-year-old woman." I said, "You're dreaming. Introducing you to an eighty-year-old means you'll instantly have a bunch of grandchildren upon marriage, becoming a grandfather without effort. Besides, after marrying her, every night you'd be hugging an eighty-year-old grandmother drinking expired milk, risking poisoning, how will I explain that?" Everyone laughed, and finally, he issued the transfer check.
There's a boy in his early twenties, much younger than me, and we're not particularly familiar. He sends me text messages every day. Seeing that I ignore him, he finally told me that he's a virgin. If I'm willing, we can meet right away. This put me in a difficult position. After hesitating for a long time, I told him: be careful these next few days, don't lose your virginity to anyone else. I'll discuss it with my husband and then reply.
Recently, I bought a high-spec Tianya Ge car. Although it's not as luxurious as Mercedes-Benz or BMW, compared to my previous car, it's a significant upgrade. I feel great driving it, and others who ride in it also say it's nice. One day, I went out with two colleagues. One of them sighed after sitting in my car, saying that riding in it made him want to marry me. We traveled far and finished our errands. The two insisted on treating me to dinner, and I couldn't refuse, so I went along. During the meal, they told me that they had discussed it and agreed that one would be my second husband, and the other would be my third husband. They guaranteed that they wouldn't fight, asking for my opinion. I was speechless, staring at them for a long time before saying, "One is too tall, the other too short. Starting today, go home and practice. When the tall one shrinks to 1.7 meters and the short one grows to 1.8 meters, I'll take you into my household." The tall one was dissatisfied, saying, "The short one growing taller is fine, but why should I shrink?"
I said, "The short one is too fat, growing to 1.8 meters would be more harmonious; the tall one is too thin, shrinking to 1.7 meters would be more appropriate."
The tall one said, "This is being picky." I replied, "Things sent to you usually aren't good, so you need to be selective."
The tall one said, "Then things not sent to you must be good?"
I said, "No, the unexpected finds are the best."
The other night, I placed a glass of water on my bedside table to drink if I got thirsty in the middle of the night. Just before dawn, my husband picked up the cup and took a sip, saying, "Why does this water taste strange?" I said, "It's fine, it's water I poured." My husband took another sip and asked, "What tea bag did you use? Why is it so swollen?" I was surprised and said, "I didn't put any tea bag in." Then he handed the cup to me, and I saw that there was a ball of toilet paper inside, probably left there after wiping my child's bottom last night. I wanted to laugh but didn't dare. I told him, "This is expensive cellulose protein slimming tea, don't drink it." Then I took the cup and poured the water into the trash can beside the bed. However, my husband became upset, saying, "It's so expensive, and you only let me take one sip before throwing it away. You shouldn't drink this kind of thing," I said.