Hilarious Taobao reviews - My Way Shopping Cashback Network

Credit Evaluation and Explanation

24. Product Name: NIKE Nike Leisure Shorts 40 yuan with free shipping

Negative Review [Details]: There is a serious quality issue, I only wore it for a week, and when I accidentally farted one day, the crotch was torn apart!

[Explanation]: Who told you not to be gentle? Besides, so cheap definitely can't compare with the real thing, and the fact that the 40 yuan includes shipping is right in front of your eyes, what do you want me to say?

25. Product Name: The latest Korean fashion body-shaping underwear

Negative Review [Details]: It's completely different from what you introduced, it's too big when worn, and my husband also said I look disproportionate!

[Explanation]: Women should have some opinions, isn't it better if it's a bit bigger? Don't let men control everything!

26. Product Name: French Premium Roses

Negative Review [Details]: You deceived me, saying that 5 roses represent "sincere appreciation", but the girl I like said I am "inconstant"!

[Explanation]: Who told you to insist on 3 red roses plus 2 white ones, saying "I love you" plus "two-person world" is romantic! It's like Zhang Ailing's "Red Rose and White Rose", can it not seem like being inconstant?

27. Product: Selling mobile phones

Buyer: Boss, do you have chocolate?

Seller: Yes, we have Dove and Golden Prince.

Buyer: I mean mobile phones!!!

Seller: Oh, after you reminded me, I realized I sell mobile phones.

28. Buyer takes a fancy to the seller.

Buyer: Is the picture yours? You're really handsome!

Seller: Sorry, no discount!

Buyer: .......

29. Product: Selling mobile phones

Buyer: Boss, how do you distinguish between original batteries and assembled ones?

Seller: Throw the battery into the fire, the sound of the explosion from the original one will be louder.

Buyer: Haha

30. Questioning the shopkeeper's negative reviews

Buyer: Shopkeeper, how come there are so many bad reviews even though you have four diamonds?

Seller: Don't you think China is a country with many wrongful convictions? Where there is injustice, there will be resistance, and where there is resistance, there will be sacrifice.

31. Product: Selling mobile phones

Buyer: This phone is so expensive, I'd rather buy a laptop.

Seller: That's true, imagine you standing in a crowd, opening your laptop, using our website "I Do As I Please" for cashback, sticking it to your ear as if making a phone call, that would be very cool.

32. Product: Selling mobile phones

Buyer: Is anyone there?

Seller: Sorry, I only sell mobile phones!

33. Product: Selling mobile phones

Buyer: Boss, is the call quality of this phone good?

Seller: Samsung phones generally have good call quality.

Buyer: Several phones I've already bought don't work well, I can't hear clearly what others are saying.

Seller: Oh...

Buyer: What do you recommend I buy?

Seller: Hearing aid.

34. About express delivery...

Buyer: Boss, there's no express delivery here, is there any other way to deliver faster?

Seller: You can charter a plane, then air drop it.

35. Neutral Review: Mobile phone cannot reply

Explanation: It's not my fault that your mobile phone cannot reply.

36. Positive Review

Buyer: The item is extremely beautiful! The seller is extremely stupid!

Explanation: Waaaaaah... How could you say that about me? I'm sad...

37. Positive Review

Buyer: Brother, you packed it so securely! It took me forever to open it!

Explanation: Hey, if I didn't pack it securely, how could I face my sister? Otherwise, you might say I'm too stingy with the tape, hahaha!

38. Positive Review

Buyer: Spent 4 yuan on DD ordinary mail, but the seller actually paid 5 yuan extra for express delivery and personally called long-distance to inquire. What kind of spirit is this? Communist spirit, right?

Explanation: Umm...... I just didn't have time to go to the post office...... sweat.

39. Item Name: O'Siman - 30g Pearl Moisturizing Hydrating Eye Cream

Negative Review [Details]: How to return goods?

Explanation: Unfair! After placing the order, you haven't even paid yet, and I haven't shipped anything. What are you talking about returning goods?

40. Buyer: Sorry, JJ, something came up and I had to wait until now to pay, delaying your egg-laying!

Seller: No problem, ah~~~ laying eggs, I don't have that function.

Buyer: Haha, sorry, I meant placing an order!

Seller: Dizzy, I said I don't have that function!

41. Should be asking if the boss has a physical store

MM A: Boss, do you have a corpse store?

Little Grass: Sorry, Taobao doesn't allow selling those.

42. Buyer MM: Is the shopkeeper there?

Seller: Yes, dear!~

Buyer MM: Can you recommend some suitable skincare products for me?

Seller: Sure, what type of skin do you have, dear?

Buyer MM: I'm mixed-dry witch (Pinyin input method, haha)

Seller: Sweat...

43. Buyer: Hurry up and change marriage (change price), okay? I can't wait anymore!

Seller MM: ==

Buyer: Hurry up, if you change marriage, I'll pay!

Seller MM: Stop dreaming! Ask my husband first!

44. Buyer: How is the sexual ability?

Seller: ?? Does it matter?

Buyer: Sorry, typed one extra 'li' character. How is the product performance?

Seller: Umm... Sweat...

45. Buyer: I want to buy a son from you.

Seller: Ah, what?

Buyer: Oh, didn't explain clearly. I want to buy your jade pendant - Buddha, to pray for me to have a son.

Seller: Haha. Sweat.

46. Buyer: Hello, I want to buy shoes from your store.

Seller: Hello, pick the style you like and place the order.

Buyer: Can I buy your shoes with Q coins?

Seller: No, it's not possible.

Buyer: Then I'll directly recharge your phone according to the product price.

Seller: Faint...

47. Buyer: Shopkeeper, do you have other styles of shoes?

Seller: Yes, here's the album address, you can check there, many haven't been listed yet...

Buyer: The shoes at your place are very nice, why is there a baby in the product pictures?

Seller: Oh, that's my son, he's not for sale!

Buyer (sweating profusely): Yeah! You can't sell your own son anyway!!

48. Buyer: How many grandmothers do you have idle?

Seller: ?????

Buyer: Sorry, pressed Enter by accident, I meant milk powder.

Seller: Scared me, only one can of milk powder is left.

Buyer: Can that can of grandmother be cheaper? I'll buy it.

Seller: I don't sell grandmothers, only milk powder!

49. When shopping with my girlfriend in the basement of the science and technology museum, I once complimented the boss on his good looks. That brother was more direct: Brother, the price can be negotiated, don't flatter me so much, it's easy for your girlfriend to misunderstand you...