Once again, it's Qingming Festival. Every year on this day, I allow myself to go back to the summer of 1994, allow myself to be lost in deep thoughts, allow myself to truly feel sorrow during the Qingming Festival, and allow myself to worship and miss you in a unique way. Once again, it's the Qingming Festival. Everyone will burn incense, hang paper, light candles, and add soil to the graves for their deceased loved ones and friends. But I can only miss you like this. There isn't a single photo worth recalling, not a single relic to keep, not even a grave to burn incense on. Sixteen years ago, you were drowned in a pond before you turned 14. The family didn't allow a grave to be built for your early death. In a piece of land far away from our hometown, at a remote corner, after digging deeply with a hoe, stone and soil were buried on top to form a chaotic mound. To this day, I still don't know which corner you are in, and no one tells me!!! I only miss you during the Qingming Festival. Occasionally when someone talks about it, I just lightly join in the conversation, not wanting to talk more, fearing that my thoughts and feelings will return to 14 years ago, causing sadness again. So I tell myself that only during the Qingming Festival am I allowed to let out all my emotions and think of you. Whether crying or being silent, whether feeling sad or reminiscing, it's only during this special festival that I allow myself to take on the role of a younger sister. Recalling, missing; missing, recalling,... At many times, I have told myself with ridiculous ghost stories that I might encounter you; at many times, I have looked forward to the day when you would appear in my dreams; I have even absurdly hoped for a miraculous resurrection story in this era. When all these impractical ideas eventually shatter, I have no choice but to tell myself that you have already left! Despite many years later, I still doubt if this is a dream and hope for awakening, but then I clearly remind myself that you have already left!! Related theme articles: Allow myself to miss you (1) Allow myself to miss you (1)